Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Oh, Evilpopstar prefers Pop (unless she is feeling wicked)

I think she's been feeling too trippy to notice, Isinde . Is your day still lovely?

Sorry Pop!

Ha ha ha you lot! Aw so nice to be name checked. Like a warm hug. Still feeling detached from my body a bit and quite.... Weird. Almost hungover . Probably I need to get to say 5 or so.

Good logic isinde. Just eaten two bags of crisps and about to have a cuppa.

I have a dog and cat who would love to join you snuggled by the fire, sounds divine. Are the DTs allowed a hot chocolate?

Isinde is right, Pop, still in hangover territory. If you were anything like me I thought I never got them, because I kept myself topped up all the time.

Thai veg curry and a Becks blue for me tonight, I've mostly kept off the sweets (mostly), so better than yesterday, and I think once I have eaten, I won't give WW another thought, for tonight anyway.

Not feeling so great today. Tired and fed up. Started off the day well but productivity dropped off a cliff during the afternoon and I've just been bouncing around with my thoughts, worrying about how long I can manage to keep this (and everything else) up. I should probably go and cook dinner and see if I can save the evening with a book and some teapigs.

Hope all are well.

I cannot stop eating. Keep telling myself no alcohol means calories to spare but cruelly I'm just pigging out out of boredom and frustration. invisible hang on in there you only need to keep it up for one day and then consider things afresh tomorrow. I'm fighting off guilt pangs having stuck the kids in front if the telly since 4pm. Nearly time for piano practice and baths. Need to stop eating yoghurt and get off my ass. Good morrissey story on radio 6 keeping me in the kitchen.

Cruelly = actually. But cruelly almost works.

gorilla you are in one of those places where you need to focus on the here and now. Stay in the moment, don't worry about the next half hour, just get through now.

Come back to post if it helps to see you through it.

Faire is so right gorilla - sometimes we have to break it down to one half hour at a time to make it through the evenings. That's when it hits most of us I think.

Bloody hell, listen to you lot. Boinging about all over the place. Am kind of glad I'm in the side car where it is nice and peaceful - looks wistfully at bus....I think joey might be in here, someone is snoring in the corner.
indie soldier ogling??? Who me???? Oh, you betcha. In fact, I have just been invited to speak at a conference ( can't think of anything worse) on military/civilian engagement. Should I mentioned my favourite type of military/civilian engagement???.

Pop I am so with you on eating. Cannot stop. Have given myself til the weekend to reach some sort of physical (if not mental) equilibrium without alcohol, and then need to clamp down on the random bagels/Christmas nuts/jelly babies/pannetone - and perhaps stick to a 2 Becks Blue per night limit. Ah, the excitement of my life right now.

But..what you say about piano practice...I slogged through music practice with my DC just now and DD said suddenly 'Mummy, you're being much nicer and calmer than usual and not shouting at me about the wrong notes'. And i thought - oh, I'm not that person am I? - and I thought - yep, she's right, usually I am. And that is because almost always when we go off to practice I am either gulping down my second glass of wine after work, or resenting the whole process for getting in the way of starting/concentrating on drinking. Which is awful: all that missed time when i could and should just have focussed on them. And I knew at the time that I wasn't giving them as much of me as I should - but just couldn't seem to do much about it. And I was so much nicer tonight - which is good, but I am now sunk in sadness at the randomness of my alcohol-fuelled mood swings during the first few years of their little lives. I know I'm a good mum, I'm not beating myself up - I just also know I could have been better.

Sorry, wasn't intending to say any of that - just spilled out and that's pretty consistent with the general incontinence of my moods and words right now. But, music practice aside, I have felt much, much better today for the first time - had a great sleep, am less scratchy all round. So that is good. Pop thanks too for giving me the push to go ahead with Deutschland83 - you're right, it was fab and a good distraction last night. Fast paced and clever enough not to make me feel I was watching rubbish (not that I have a problem with that in the slightest - I just sometimes feel I should up my game..) but not too taxing on the storyline front. I look forward to the next episode.

Gorilla - how are you now? did you get some food? Do stick with it, moment by moment and distract, distract, distract. for you - hope you feel better.

Sorry - mammoth post - but last random qu - who was it mentioned seeing things out of the corner of their eyes? I've been doing that too. Seriously unnerving. Is it a Thing, do you think?

Ma, hope you're ok - am assuming you're off doing some Official Ogling. Sweet, Spanna, South, Isindie , Margie - you're all sounding pretty chipper - go you!

Thanks for the advice and support. You're all right about focusing on small bits of time. I'm definitely guilty of wanting to do too much, too fast and then getting worked up about long-term stuff. I'm feeling a bit headachey (probably from worrying) but I haven't had anything to drink. Just got into my pyjamas and made a mug of apple and honey tea instead. I've been doing random tasks to keep myself occupied- just handwashed a canvas shoulder bag It was looking pretty grotty. Might have to move onto sewing repairs and dusting next...

Well done Gorilla! It's so hard to get yourself through those iffy moments but you did it!

Fox, you hit a nerve here, I could have been a much better Mum too. But let's just look forward and think about how great we're going to be now! My DS2 was being a typical nightmare 3 year old tonight and I didn't shout like I normally would have, which made me feel better about myself and not drinking.

I'd also forgotten about how effective you can be when you're not slumped on the sofa working your way through a bottle of red. My house is tidy and (relatively) clean, the toys are put away and the I've done lots of little jobs I'd been putting off.

Eaten my body weight in cake today as well though.

fox you are so right about being better as a mother. So so right. Was it pop who said about seeing things shift out of the corner of her eye? Anyway, I've had it too. Weird weird weird...

Hi babes, Happy New Year! On the rare occasion I' m brave enough to post I typed a long essay and have just lost the bloody thing! Well in a nutshell it said I slipped over Christmas and so am trying dry January, so far have managed it, but by the skin of my teeth.
Love to all.

Great to see so many babes on here, sharing, supporting each other. You guys rock!

Hi foxy ladies,

I've been reading all of your posts and I'm astonished at the difference these last few days have made. My heart went out to our lovely newbies, the sadness and desperation for change emanating from every post, now here you all are, a tight tag team of warmth, support and courage and it does my heart good to see you all blossom.

I've been so so busy in RL, anyone remember the show "challenge Annika", well I feel like a fat, middle aged Annika but you know what, I'm busy being a good Mum and that's my great privilege, to be relied upon again, to be indespensible, no question that Mum won't turn up as the taxi service, no question the uniforms won't be ready, no question the lunches won't be done, no question Mum will let them down. I have let them down so many times and yet they trust me, they believe in me and they forgive me.

I want to take time tomorrow to NC all of you, your amazing comments really really touched me, I shudder to think where I'd be now, IF I'd still be here at all if I hadn't googled "I drink too much" at a sorry point in my life.

I'm 44, have Crohn's disease, bipolar and I'm overweight. I have a stroppy teenager, a five year old that doesn't sleep and all the other shit that most of us have to deal with. The thing is not having to think about the next drink, the next bender, the next round of shame, misery and destruction I cos drunk frees up soooo much time, oodles of time, days, weeks and months to walk through life, not drinking my way round it, life is short enough without forgetting half of it.

I've a long long way to go but I can meet a friend for a coffee without having to cancel cos I'm half cut or hungover. I can take my wee one riding on a Sat morning without wondering if I'll make it and I can promise my older daughter I'll pick her up without making sure she's got taxi money just in case.

There is not one single problem in my life that was ever made better by drinking, sure life stings a bit more sometimes, there's no where to hide anymore but the days I've missed lying shit faced in my room I reckon I've hidden enough for a lifetime!!!!

Your all amazing and inspire me so much xxxx

What a lovely post baby

Aw baby happy new year. You are an inspiration. So inspired to hear you talking so much sense. Much much love.