Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Isinde have a cup of hot, sweet tea. Your blood sugar is probably low and your clever brain knows that it can get a quick sugar fix from wine. So get some sugar in you first and you will fine to cook in about half an hour or so.

Any chance of chucking the red away?

Welcome whistle
You babes are all doing really well. I am low carbing and moderating. Just not managing AF at the moment but significantly reduced.
indie you are doing brilliantly.
Any sign of wry? hope are you OK?

Indie or putting the red outdoors. Cold red isn't nice, for the most part anyway! I agree with Faire - hot sweet tea will help you ride it out.

ma well done on continuing to moderate. I know how hard that is, kudos to you.

I'm actually finding myself having a really melancholic moment. But I'm about to go onto amazon now and order some things for the party - mostly Bathtub Gin (fave) and fever-tree tonic. The latter being as much for me as it will be for my gin swilling mates on Friday! I am planning on drinking tonic with lime slices and ice. It'll look like an alcoholic drink, which will keep people off my back - and by people, I mean my AV!

I am also having the sugar pangs. I actually didn't buy anything sugary today when I did my shop because I'd have eaten it all by now! Diet Coke is doing me well.

I've managed today to have a soak in a long epsom salt bath and I'm on top of my vit b complex. I think these things are helping me ride out the cravings. And early nights.

Also, I listened to a fab podcast call after party pod (google it along with sobriety podcasts and you ought to find it). Really interesting and funny. Loved it.

Anyway, I think I'm going to clean my face and teeth and head to bed.

Stay strong loves x

Thanks so much for the warm welcome! I've got loads of drink still in the house too. Even found a chilled bottle of prosecco in the fridge - eek! Luckily dh never drinks at home so I can ship it all out to the garage tomorrow. Had a nasty pang today when the friend who I'm seeing for dinner on Saturday texted to say she'd pick me up so I could have a drink. The weekend is going to be tough anyway but I felt quite empowered to say no thanks, I'd be driving.

Hey all Today was a good day, I think. I'm thinking I need to spend less time online reading things like the news and certain other websites (not counting this one) because I feel like I'm just hammering my brain with negativity and I end up feeling helpless and depressed about the world and people. My moods are feeling pretty up and down lately so maybe it'd be best to avoid certain things for a while.

But in more positive news, I got a good few hours of walking done today, reached out to a friend to talk, bought a new jacket (second-hand, but still in great condition) and ate pretty well.

Moving everything to the garage sounds like a good idea, Whistle. I know I've got some things lying in a bag somewhere in the conservatory. Ugh. Well done on saying no to your friend's offer!

SouthPole I love long baths. Enjoy your early night! I'll have to look up that podcast- I've been trying to listen to more of them recently.

Evening.

Small a whole year, but focus on how many days you didn't drink on, not the ones you did . . . Remember your first sober holiday? Pup will be one year old on Sunday, and getting his boy bits removed next week. He's an absolute joy and has become a bit of a star on campus! Pus is always doing something amusing, mostly food thievery, when she's not murdering rodents, or asleep.

Had a bit of a pang when my DF opened a bottle of rose this evening, but poured some fevertree ginger beer and waited it out, it does pass.

I'm joining the early night gang now, have sweet dreams everyone.

I'm having a cuppa and have cooked a lovely tea from a recipe in a Thai cookbook Xmas gift. I find nice food really helps. Still feel a bit twitchy and weird but happy to be coming to the end of day 2. Well done to all , we rock.

Well done everyone, especially those who've got booze in the house!

Day 5 all done, I went out for lunch with 3 people, 2 of who ordered wine, but I had fizzy water. Tomorrow is DS's birthday and we're having a family lunch (holiday here) and I know my MIL will arrive with wine and cava but I've got some AF beer in the fridge so hopefully it will be ok.

Still feeling no joy at all about not drinking, I really miss it.

Well done marge. I am having an unexpected temp AF high but think it might partly be slight triply withdrawals. Bit worrying. Keep seeing things move out of corner of my eye. wondering if need low level Valium but trying to ride out. I fully expect a big crash and a huge wave of boredom to hit when I've stopped feeling ... What I can only describe as very weird.

Triply = trippy.

small Deutschland 83 was ace !

Morning All

Fell asleep before 8pm then of course wake up at stupid o'clock (3am) urgh!!!

Well done all you're all doing really well - which ever day it is for you today, YOU CAN DO IT. Just take baby steps and distract, distract, distract!!!

Margie I hear your pain. I missed drinking so much when I first stopped, it's a routine, it has that numbing effect and being sober everything's alot more real and raw. Please try and ride it out. Is there any hobbies that you fancy taking up? Keep going babe you are doing really well x ps keep forgetting to ask where you live?

South I also admire the booze in the house - I couldn't do it, would be too tempting!!!

Pop you do rock and you're doing so well. I hope you're feeling more like 'yourself' today. Could it be worth going to the Doc? Have a good day today x

Hope you ok darling? How's it all going? DC back at school, does that mean you're running around the country on business? these are for you lovely

Isinde hi babe, the app I use is the one that Sweet mentioned earlier - tis called 'I'm done drinking' it is American so you'll need to convert the dollars into pounds, it is quite a shock as to how much you won't spend on booze. I wish I'd put it 'away' but I'm still skint so I clearly needed the money I was spending Babe you are doing really well, keep it up x

Beeches sunflower, you ok darling? Have a good day today x

Gorilla you sound really positive, have a good day x

Sweet hugs

Welcome Whistle you've come to the right place you will find lots of lovely support and advice here x

I just want to say hello to some missing babes - Hello Guggs, Joey, Wry, Soc, Why,
Rural, Orbrigada, Khalisi if any of you are lurking please come and say 'Hi' x

All ok in Spannaworld, it's all a bit meh at work, did a Bingo yesterday which is always a laugh, some of the residents are so deaf that I'm quite hoarse by the end of it. Got a quiz today so I really won't have any voice later

Have a good day everyone. Keep up the fight whether she's a witch or a snake, she will be slain

Morning,

Morning Spanna, took Pup over to West Wittering last week, he had a blast. Done any nice beach walks lately?

One vice at a time, Isindie, I've already put on a pound, but I know things will equal themselves out after a couple of weeks, as Whistle said, the weight takes time to start shifting.

Pop hope you have a better, less trippy day today.

Margie, well done, eating out is tricky, ordering wine to go with a meal just feels so natural.

Good bit of retail therapy, Gorilla and if you think about the money you won't be spending on booze, there can be lots more of it - My app tells me I have already Not spent £64, and it's only the beginning of day 6 .

South, you are sounding calm - I wish I could 'do' long baths, but I get twitchy and bored as soon as my bum hits the water - I need to find a way to turn my brain off sometimes. Fevertree is the best tonic .

Ma I do admire your ability to moderate.

Have a good day everyone, by this evening, that will be almost a week, think about what we're gaining, not what we're missing (it's a lie anyway).

All power for day 3. Hardly slept. Ho hum.

It will start to get better soon, Pop, be kind to yourself.

Will do. DD1 didn't sleep either aged 9. Went to go. Before Xmas promised referral. Nothing. Will chase. Worried!

Poor you - and DD, is it night terrors or just not switching off? I think the admin gets behind a bit over the holidays, I went to the eye hospital before Christmas, and was told I needed a referral to a more specialised consultant. No 'sight' of it yet, but I can wait a while, your DD will be struggling with school, poor poppet. Hoist up your big girl pants and give them a call .

Thanks sweet. Will chasing today.

Day 3 - had a good night's sleep which was much-needed as I had to get up at 5am.

Sugar cravings not quite so bad today, but have an unexpected side effect of incredibly chapped lips! No amount of lip balm is helping.. anyone else get this or is it just the time of year? Seems too much of a coincidence!

Hope you are all feeling good today.

Argh whistle! Chapped lips are such a pain in the ass! Stay hydrated - I'm not sure how much balm will help in this case. Sometimes it can dry your lips out more. Up the water intake is my advice.

pop I'm sorry you're feeling weird. I was exactly the same. I'm over that bit though and am sleeping well now thank goodness - I need my sleep. I know prozac takes a while to kick in and you'll likely be over the whole thing by that point anyway. Also, prozac has its own side effects. I'd really be inclined to ride it out. Perhaps some OTC sleepers and maybe chamomile tea and rescue remedy for when you're feeling a bit 'woo'.

spanna can you tell me your story again please? My laptop won't let me head up the page for some reason to search your post out. Thanks love.

indie well done you star! Day 5 done for both of us.

gorilla you do seem quite set, like me (at the moment anyway!!) and positive.

margie the good times will come again and you will see the benefits. I can't promise much but I can promise you that.

Laythrus you are so right, it is a lie. It promises so much - hey, be cool and sophisticated and grown up with this glass of wine...not so cool when you're waking up to a frosty husband and kids who need their mum completely there and not just worshiping at the alter of Armitage Shanks for the day whilst being short with them and letting them eat whatever the fuck they like because I can't cook for my babies. Spent money, lost time, lost dignity, lost weekends, lost new years (all me!).

I, for one, cannot stop when I start. Sometimes I can. Most times I can't. That isn't a lie.

And when I don't start, I get fucking wasted. I also blackout - can't remember films/TV shows I've watched (end of Series 2 Ray Donovan, anyone?!). I have to pretend to husband that I know wtf is going on. End up in bed and don't remember getting there. Room stinking in the morning. Shivers of shame when I realise I've been on facebook messaging friends whilst out of it...or texting...or amazon...

Shudder.

Not for me any longer, thank you very much.

I hate going over these things as I feel sick dredging them back up, but Day 6 is a bit of a turning point for many - where we think all will be well now and we step off the watchtower and our AV pipes up...so it helps me to remember the bad. If sharing my shames help you too, then that's a bonus.

Right, gotta shampoo the conservatory carpet - cream carpet in a conservatory anyone?! No, didn't think so. Dumb as fuck idea from the previous owners...

Ordered my bathtub gin and fevertree tonic last night so really hoping it'll be here in time for the party on Friday or else it'll be a dash to Waitrose in the morning!

Keep strong ladies.

ma how are you getting on lovely?

Isinde, you have THE BOING

South I had to rewatch the last episode of Breaking Bad in secret because I couldn't admit to DH that I couldn't remember it first time around.

Evil how are you feeling? Still trippy or has it calmed down? You must be knackered, hopefully some tea and early to bed might sort you out tonight...?

Spanna, thanks for the reassurance, I just miss my friend Booze, pathetic but true. I've got some of those grown-up colouring books, not sure they'll be an adequate wine replacement but worth a try! I'm in Spain, lived here for years, DH is from here. Are you and Sweet in Sussex?

South, you rock, you sound so together and determined. I am very familiar with the shudders of shame, there are various times I've posted on MN and not remembered it in the morning. Plus internet shopping, what's app conversations, TV programs, etc, etc...all lost in the fog. Good to be reminded it's just not worth it.

Indie, I'm with you on day 6! Although I nearly wasn't. This is what happened earlier at DS's birthday lunch - my brother (who I'm not v fond of) is here and is also doing DJ.

Me: Don't you really feel like drinking today? (This is clearly me trying to get him to break it too so I don't feel so bad if I do).
Bro: No, I'm actually amazed how much I don't miss it.
Me: Wow, I miss it a lot.
Bro: Frankly, if you can't do five days without missing it then you've got a problem.

I mean I know I've got a problem but I didn't want him to be the smug pillock one to point it out. [grits teeth and puts kettle on]

Hampshire for me, Margie, but I hop over the border quite often, Spanna Wittering was part of Spanna's stomping ground in her (I hope) misspent youth!

Your bro was deflecting I'm sure. I had a wobble at lunch time - the smell of a glass of cool white Bourgogne Chardonnay, argh! As soon as parents go home tomorrow, it's all going in the deepest darkest bit of the garage where the false widows live!