I'm 28, he's 52. I'm in love and don't know what to do

[Hellobearbear]

Just that really.

I've never felt so connected to someone or so attracted.

I want kids, he is prepared to do this, and he already has two of his own.

My heart literally aches for him when I'm not with him.

Is it naive to think I wouldn't find this again with someone younger? I feel like he is my soulmate. But I don't want to look back in ten years and wonder if I made the wrong choice. I don't know what to do.

Well, the age gap in itself may not be a problem, although I think you are young yourself to be with someone if that age. My dh and I have a similar age gap and it mostly works for us.

However, the affair bit? Totally wrong!

You don't love him because you don't know him.

People aren't themselves when they're fucking behind their spouses' backs.

Exactly what Walter said. I'll repeat it, it's that good:

People aren't themselves when they're fucking behind their spouses' backs.

Welcome to MN OP.

My heart literally aches for him when I'm not with him
Have you tried Gaviscon?

So is he prepared to tell his wife about the affair tomorrow, leave her and set up a new life with you?

Seriously OP. This man is not your soulmate. He's a lying cheat getting an ego boost from a much younger woman. Run for the hills while you can...

I understand the judgement.

But I wasn't asking for moral based advice.

Thanks to posters who have shared real experiences.

Saga, see, I disagree with you there: people are entirely themselves when they show themselves to be cheating, lying pricks!

Honestly, OP, he is showing you who he is - take note and run.

The age gap is irrelevant. The fact he is married with children is.

Leave him alone.

My aunt had an affair with her 'soul mate' starting in her twenties. He promised to leave his wife and she kept seeing him for twenty years always waiting.

She's in her fifties now and alone and bitter. He is still with his wife and has nothing to do with my aunt. It is so so sad, deceitful but so so stupid to carry on.

As previous poster says, age gap not the issue... 14 yrs between me and DH, it's all good. Age irrelevant really.

Bigger issue. He's married. With kids. And a wife. Stop thinking of yourself. If you're sure he's the one, then tell him. Give him an ultimatum if you must but do not be his bit on the side...

Once a cheater though...

Op you absolutely should have said this was an affair in your first post. I think that was quite dishonest of you to conceal that.

I agree with other posters - get out now.

I know it feels like you love him. I really, really understand. But you don't know him. Someone else will come along and will make you realise that this isn't real.

Stick with it and you're in for a world of madness and pain.

Do you have anyone IRL you can speak to or is it all top secret?

I just really hate the term soulmate. I just don't believe it. It seems that it often is used to justify bad behaviour. He is having a mid-life crisis and trying to recapture his youth with you. End it.

Leopards don't change their spots - if this man is cheating on his wife and family, he will cheat on you once the initial excitement is over ....

Get out of this relationship while you can.

If he's the love of your life, and you're the love of his, maybe he would have left his wife. Why hasn't he? The age difference has nothing to do with this situation.

Leave. Rhys won't end happily.

BUT ignore horrible posters who will flame you. We've all made good and bad choices in our lives and you are not responsible for his commitment. His actions are his not yours. He is breaking his cues and cheating, deceiving, etcetera. Not you.

However it is very very true that even without an age gap as significant as yours, when a mistress becomes a wife,she leaves a job opening. This story won't end happily for anyone. Least if all you- you'll end up dissatisfied I. Your relationship, vilified by society, and resented by your dp

Oh FFS what is it with people coming on here confessing to their affairs? Do you think it'll be responses of "Yeah, you go for it! Whatever makes you happy!" when one or other of you are supposedly committed to someone else? Honestly?

He's not your dad's cousin's husband by any chance, is he?

So what's the back story? How did you meet, how long have you known him for, how long have you been shagging him behind his wife's back 'seeing him, do you have a history of choosing unsuitable partners?

This not Rhys

Have a little chat with his wife and see what she says, you never know, there might be another side to his character which might make you fall out of love.

Best get all angles and do your research before you make any lfe limiting decision!

OP don't listen to nasty comments. It really is a fling, it probably fantastic sex. Enjoy it but keep your head and keep it fun.

You'll go off him soon enough so don't over think it.

Did the OP actually say that he is the one who is married?

This not Rhys

Did think it was a bit much to out Rhys...