I'm 28, he's 52. I'm in love and don't know what to do

[Hellobearbear]

Just that really.

I've never felt so connected to someone or so attracted.

I want kids, he is prepared to do this, and he already has two of his own.

My heart literally aches for him when I'm not with him.

Is it naive to think I wouldn't find this again with someone younger? I feel like he is my soulmate. But I don't want to look back in ten years and wonder if I made the wrong choice. I don't know what to do.

Because hes ill Morris and cant be physical anymore Thats why not.

Just stop with a married man,how would you feel if you were his wife, I have no doubt you are feeling he at the moment, getting one over on the poor wife,feeling special and excitement, its not though,its tawdry and fleeting,

You do have a cheek coming on here making snooty comments about not asking for moral judgements. What,we're supposed to turn a blind eye to what is practically embezzlement. But I guess she doesn't understand him huh. He's never really loved her. Got caught. Tricked. Yaaaaawn . oldest line. Really. You won't believe it - bcs it's the Grand Passion.

Mind, the ageism on this thread has been revolting. I always think change 'old' for 'black' and see how that looks. Re blaaaaaack balls. Not so good.

But his age, your age, besides the point. The big ocean liner elephant skyscraper point you are ignoring: someone else's husband. Kids smashed to pieces (as wife will be). Don't kid yourself op.

springy i totally agree. the age thing is besides the point Its the lies and the deception and the fact his wife and children will be hurt as could the OP.

I think the ageist argument is just a variant of Godwin's Law, really. And sleazy, creepy men (or women) can then hide behind cries of 'ageism' to justify lusting after people their kids' age.

20 odd year old person and 50 odd year old person = creepy. It's not analogous to racism, sexism or homophobia, to say that a creepy thing is creepy. I'm all for older people doing what the hell they like - apart from predating on people their kids' ages! And whilst you accuse people of being ageist (who incidentally are close in age to the man in question) for finding the man in question sleazy - you are normalising the sleazy.

To be certain you are free of ageism ask yourself - and tell us the answer here, please - this. If a man in his 40s knocked at your door, saying he'd popped round to pick up your 18 year old daughter... can you honestly say you'd be utterly cool with that and not remotely, at all, squicked out?

And don't you feel uncomfortable that there could be a predatory element to a man of 50 odd, promising undying love to a maybe not hugely emotionally mature 20 odd year old? Wouldn't it cross your mind he might be sleazy or manipulative? Or would you be utterly cool with it? Honestly?

Joffrey i WAS that 18 year old. And my DH was a lot more careful and a lot more respectful of me sexually and in general than guys my own age have been.

Ive always preferred older men. I dont/didnt set out to attract them They just seem to ask me.

And in my experience older men are less likely to ask a woman to shave off her pubic hair .....its the younger ones who seem to expect that because of all the internet porn they have watched.

Ok op. I've been there done it and got the tshirt

Get out. Now. You love him this much because it's an affair, because it's like a roller coaster of emotion.

But it will end in heartbreak for a lot of people including you. So if you value your sanity get out.

Joffrey i find listening to older people fascinating. Especially because of the fact they have lived through the decades of major social shifts and changes.

Beware of the soulmate. Especially in circumstances like this.
That concept can lead you waaay into trouble.

:o

Lol.

Love your username, FireCrotch!

Now, where's that OP gone?...

OP don't listen to nasty comments. It really is a fling, it probably fantastic sex. Enjoy it but keep your head and keep it fun

Yup let's endorse it, as long as it's fun, fun, fun!

It's a fantasy... Suspect you're carried away on the secrecy/romance.

Hes a sleaze... He will seem very different if he left his wife...

Personally I wouldn't want to waste any more time with him...

She fancies him so obviously is not turned off by his age ... what's the point of using that as an argument?

Be very careful OP as your affair partner is not having a normal trusting relationship with anyone right now. I read my husband's emails to his affair partner and he was lying to her as well as to me. Among other things he told her that having a baby with her was the thing he wanted most. (He also said I had prevented him from having a third child ... not true.) They have been together three years now, half that time as an affair. They don't live together. No baby. I would be absolutely amazed if he wanted one. He can't afford it and is highly focused on success at work, and his plans before he met her were to travel the world. At our age, when you have spent half your life parenting, you are looking forward to your new independence. Be very careful.

The nauseating ageism on this thread aside, and by that I mean the horrible comments about appearance, the OP is very foolish.

Either she is married and playing away, or he is. Whichever way it falls, both are liars and cheats.

This will all end in tears.

Shed them now before it starts to get really messy.

52! crikey. He's too old for me & I'm 47.

We need to know if it's you or him having the affair.

The older you get, ironically, the creepier you find it. As in your 50s you're likely to have teenage or grown up kids yourself - how a bloke could have a 20 odd year old child, then contemplate shagging someone the same age... It does make you wonder what was going through their minds when, say their kids' female mates came round... I would have been creeped out by the thought of a man over say 35 when I was 28, if I'm honest. But the older I get, the creepier the thought of it gets, actually.

^^ This.

I'm old, as is my DH so don't feel I am ageist. We have DDs in their 20's, if they rocked home with someone quarter of a century older than them I would be seriously worried.

My DH is a few years older than me and the age gap is quite enough. Men suddenly age, and get a bit boring old farty. Not saying that's my DH but if I hadn't have spent over half of my life with him, and have a solid loving marriage, if I were in my 20's I would not be interested in someone so much older, we've grown together and that's why it works. OP, I hope you won't be thinking you'll be swinging from the chandeliers - when you are in your prime, your partner's ability to hold an erection will be dwindling. It sounds to me as if you are infatuated, that's all.

I don't think OP is coming back as she didn't get the answers she was after...

It could be the OP who is married not the 52 year old man

Well....not really. Not unless she's married to an older guy, having an affair with the 52 yo and wondering whether she might still find a third, younger guy to be her soulmate instead. Which would be a hell of a drip feed.

Agree rousette and joffrey. And I feel I can say that as I am 52 myself.

Men tell you anything to get in your pants. Of course he will want more children at 52....

I think I know what the conversation he will have with his mates in the pub...