This is creepy, right?

[fishfingersinmysandwiches]

So this evening there was a knock at the door. I openec it and there was a man I vaguely recognise standing with a huge bunch of pink roses saying, "These are for you".

I was totally confused as I was expecting my sons friends dad (whom I've not met before) to bring my son and his friend back to my house for a sleepover, so I was thinking it was rather an over top thank you gesture for having his son over.

But the man then asked if I fancy a coffee sometime? He also gave me a separate pink rose for my daughter, "Just in case she feels left out." I looked blank and replied, "But I don't know you."

He explained that he worked at such and such a place and then it dawned on me where Ii'd seen him before. I'd been into his place of work about three months ago and as far as I'm concerned that is the only time we've ever met. He told me he'd noticed we, "Had a lot of eye contact". Er... have we??? I was too taken aback to send him packing and ended up fobbing him off with some feeble, "Er.. let me think about it and get back to you" comment. I just felt a bit frozen and weirded out to be honest.

What I want to know is how the fuck he knows where I live?

This is creepy and innappropriate, correct? My friend seems to think it's romantic but I'm not happy.

[awalkinthepark2000]

I had a similar situation on and off for years in my past - it creeped me out but intrigued me at the same time - found out that he had been in a long term relationship and then married the person (had a wedding ring on the last time he did it!) the whole time! So all that glitters and all that ... if he is now free why does he not just contact you on facebook?

[winkywinkola]

Well people who fancy someone do tend to turn the most insignificant events into bigger things, don't they?

I mean, the number of times my friends and I would analyse the behaviour of the boys we fancied. Of course it was ridiculous and ott.

The flowers are ott, it's true. But perhaps he genuinely thought he was being romantic in an old fashioned way. I wouldn't jump to the creepy, stalker conclusion just yet. I would be alert though.

But what telephone calls did you say you were getting? Keep a record of those definitely.

[Redglitter]

Oh I knew phone 101 would appear on this.

[Footle]

Sounds as if you quite like him so far, OP. No need to make him regret the roses at this point. Have coffee if you feel like it, and decide after that - he already knows where you live so there's nothing to lose security-wise.

[WitchWay]

I think it's weird but rather sweet. I have a lovely local male florist wondering if it's him

I imagine male florists are likely to be shy, sensitive & artistic, leaping wildly to stereotypical conclusions

[GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt]

Am I the only one who'd consider going for a coffee with him?

[Lweji]

I suspect he only works at the petrol station...

[LeaveMyWingsBehindMe]

His profession is such that the flowers would have been easily obtainable without him having to go out especially to buy them IYSWIM (trying not to be too outing here)

Does he work in the Esso?

Or he's an undertaker?

Okay so he's probably the F which makes the size and quality of the bouquet a bit more understandable. The question is whether he knows you are single because he has asked mutual acquaintances about you, or because of something more sinister.

I think the gesture is a massive gamble, depending on your viewpoint (and whether or not you actually remembered having 'eye contact' with him ) you might be bowled over with the romance of it, or just freaked out by it.

I wouldn't rule it out myself…..

Is it possible that you have a profile on POF or similar, and he's recognised you from that? Or is your fb page on public and he's seen you are single from there?

[boocha]

Hahaha oh my god! Why would you report to the police?
Poor guy probably thought he was being incredibly romantic.
If you don't want to go out with him, just don't, if however then he doesn't take no for an answer, that's creepy but otherwise I don't really think he's done anything wrong?

[LeaveMyWingsBehindMe]

that should have said F not F

just in case anyone is trying to work out F is.

[LeaveMyWingsBehindMe]

oo er.

Why won't it let me type the right number of askerisks?

Florist. F

[LeaveMyWingsBehindMe]

[LeaveMyWingsBehindMe]

I agree boocha

My only concern is whether he pitched up with no idea about whether she had a partner or not, and assuming he did know she was single, how?

[DrMorbius]

I am definitely in the "he thought he was being romantic camp". The media is full of crap about grand gestures.

He has seen you Op and obviously likes you. Probably asked around and found out you are single, have a DC, and where you live. But if you have no mutual acquaintances he is snookered. So what then are his options a) approach you out of the blue, b) forget you.

He has obviously taken the fortune favours the brave approach. I can just imagine him sat in a pub with a bunch of mates working out what to do and a bunch of flowers seeming like a great idea . Once decided on flowers, the problem is how does he give them to you? It would be almost impossible to engineer meeting you, so really his only option it to turn up at your door.

TBH as a bloke I don't see too much wrong with knocking on a door and giving flowers (must admit I have been surprised by the negative responses). Obviously turning up is his way of getting to meet you. The flowers are to let you know his intentions are romantic. Odd as it may seem the comment we, "Had a lot of eye contact" is his way of letting you know that you have met previously and he us not a random looney.

[Gabilan]

"TBH as a bloke I don't see too much wrong with knocking on a door and giving flowers (must admit I have been surprised by the negative responses)."

As a woman living on her own I see a lot wrong with it. If someone did that at work I would be a bit freaked at first but not too bothered in the long term. If they did it where I live it's essentially saying "I have no awareness of whether you want this or not, haven't thought through don't give a rat's arse that it might scare you, and am placing my need for contact above your need for privacy." It's the last that is so fucking annoying in these situations.

You spend much of your time as a woman fighting off unwanted attention. The last thing you want is it turning up on your doorstep.

[ILiveAtTheBeach]

Good grief. What a lot of fuss over a guy turning up with flowers.

And as for those of you saying "report to the Police", that is so utterly ridiculous. Don't you think the Police have got enough to do, like dealing with murders, rapes and robberies?

I can just imagine how that call would go:
Fishfingers: "Officer I need to report a crime"
Officer: "We'll get someone out to you asap, what is it?"
Fishfingers: " A man gave me roses"
Officer "Er, what?" whilst spitting out his tea and telling colleagues he's got another weirdo on the line

So, he made a grand gesture. Men used to do things like this all the time. No wonder romance is dead. So many neurotic women about.

I would go for the coffee (if I was single). But then I am a hopeless romantic.

[SanityClause]

It's because asterisks make the text go bold, Leave. You need to do two more than you want, and the ones that show will be bold.

If he is a florist, fishfingers, it's a much less OTT gesture than it would be otherwise. He has paid considerably less for the flowers than someone would who had to buy them from his shop.

It's really impossible to know what's going on at the moment. He seems to have read more into a trivial social conversation than you did. He has asked around mutual acquaintances, and found out a little about you (I.e. that you are single, and where you live). He seems to fancy you, and has dropped off flowers, and asked you for coffee.

OR, he is some kind of weird obsessive stalker-y type. But you won't know that without further evidence.

OR, everything from the first scenario, but he's a bit of a Lothario, and is affecting the shy, uncertain schmuck as a "line", and is less sincere than he appears. Again, you can't know this, yet.

Obviously this has taken you aback, but if you would have accepted the coffee date if he'd asked when you met, based on his apparent circumstances, and on yours, then I would accept this, now. Or, if you don't fancy it, don't.

[Theydontknowweknowtheyknow]

The fact that he ended with "Sorry if I've misread this" and shuffled off embarrassed shows that he has the social awareness to spot your discomfort. He didn't stay at that point so I'm inclined to come down on the romantic side of the romantic/creepy line.

If you don't like him, fair enough. Hopefully at this point he knows to back off. If he doesn't then yes I'm changing my answer.

If you do like him then go for coffee.

[DrMorbius]

I have been out of the "dating game" for 30 years, so my experience is limited and out of date, but I think people can be a bit fatalistic on here.

So he knows where you live, doesn't mean he is going to harm you. Someone always seems to be knocking on my door, replacement Windows, garden work etc etc. Each of them know where I live. I don't sit in fear of them returning with nefarious intent.

At the end of he day it was just a boy, asking a girl out for a date.

[Whipkitty]

Creepy!

All the 'eye contact' was imagined by him and then he found out where you live and turned up on your doorstep. I mean, did he ask himself if you were married? Got a BF/GF? Nope. Does he care how you might feel about him rolling up? Nope. It's a bit stalker-ish if you ask me.

His less creepy alternative would be to NOT find your home address but send you flowers at work with an offer of a date.

[Mumteedum]

I had a male friend from work years ago. (He's happily married to someone else now, I will add. ) Anyway he had feelings for me but never said, when I had started seeing someone. I had to have some nasty dental surgery and my friend sent me such an ott bouquet, the new bf was quite peed off! Seriously filled my flat and every vase I had!

My friend is romantic but not always brilliant at judging social cues.

I've only just looked at online dating so far, but judging by what so many blokes think is OK for profiles, its not that unusual to be lacking in judgement in that area!

[DoreenLethal]

is less creepy alternative would be to NOT find your home address but send you flowers at work with an offer of a date.

That would be more creepy, bearing in mind that he lives nearby to the OP and knows local people. Finding out her work address and sending flowers and not doing it face to face = more creepy.

[Aramynta]

Honestly, OP? I would much rather a handsome man clumsily turned up at my door with a bunch of flowers and stuttered some kind words out than some cocky twat, OLD, sending pictures of there erect member asking me if I "fancy a fuck" or being leered at in some sleazy bar.

No wonder romance is dead and buried. Everyone is so cynical nowadays.

[manandbeast]

Report to police on non emergency number????? "Excuse me officer, someone bought me flowers". Utterly terrible advice. What does everyone think is going to happen??

OP it's a sweet gesture. I'm sure you felt a bit awkward but the guy just likes you. Good on him for doing something about it. And for trying to be considerate of your daughter.