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Original poster

This is creepy, right?

326 replies

fishfingersinmysandwiches · 07/11/2015 19:34

So this evening there was a knock at the door. I openec it and there was a man I vaguely recognise standing with a huge bunch of pink roses saying, "These are for you".

I was totally confused as I was expecting my sons friends dad (whom I've not met before) to bring my son and his friend back to my house for a sleepover, so I was thinking it was rather an over top thank you gesture for having his son over.

But the man then asked if I fancy a coffee sometime? He also gave me a separate pink rose for my daughter, "Just in case she feels left out." I looked blank and replied, "But I don't know you."

He explained that he worked at such and such a place and then it dawned on me where Ii'd seen him before. I'd been into his place of work about three months ago and as far as I'm concerned that is the only time we've ever met. He told me he'd noticed we, "Had a lot of eye contact". Er... have we??? I was too taken aback to send him packing and ended up fobbing him off with some feeble, "Er.. let me think about it and get back to you" comment. I just felt a bit frozen and weirded out to be honest.

What I want to know is how the fuck he knows where I live?

This is creepy and innappropriate, correct? My friend seems to think it's romantic but I'm not happy.

OP posts:
ItchyArmpits · 07/11/2015 21:56

pigsDOfly At risk of getting flamed - I was wondering what was so terrible about this man that going for a coffee was out of the question.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 07/11/2015 21:58

His point about the eye contact and the fact he waited three months makes me wonder if you maybe have seen him about and been smiley. You didn't realise it was him because he was out of context but he recognised you.
I'd ask round a bit more to find out if he has a reputation as a mad stalker or is actually a decent guy who has been misled by shit Hollywood romcoms.

ItchyArmpits · 07/11/2015 21:58

Maybe I have spent too much time on the OLD threads. Starting to get to the point now where a bloke who doesn't send you a pic of his cock first seems like a keeper.

Must raise expectations...

tiredvommachine · 07/11/2015 21:59

Anyone remember the old Impulse deodorant spray advert from the 80's?

"If a man you've never met before suddenly gives you flowers...."

Hoping it's just a grand gesture gone a bit wrong OP Flowers

Muddlewitch · 07/11/2015 22:02

What are the flowers supposed to mean? Is that what the 'please believe me' referred to?

pigsDOfly · 07/11/2015 22:02

Actually Itchy I did wonder that myself. :)

BusShelter · 07/11/2015 22:03

So OP are you just going to keep us guessing why you ponder this or are you going to send him a text or phone him. The pondering is fun but if you are worried about giving out the wrong signals it's probably be wise to quickly make it clear to him that you are not sitting around looking at the lovely roses and day dreaming about coffee.
A quick text or even a phone call and you can park this (Wink as they say)

Justaboy · 07/11/2015 22:05

pigsDOfly Well, err, umm No!. But in a way it does appeal i suppose its a bit OTT but if he is gen its bloody impressive all the same:)

Course these days someone sending a cock pic seems OK for OLD!.

pigsDOfly · 07/11/2015 22:07

No, really Just that's never ok even for OLD.

lavenderhoney · 07/11/2015 22:09

I got a call one night from a plumber whom I met once for about 10 mins to price a job. It went to VM, thank god) he was clearly pissed and said it had taken him 3 months to work up courage to call me and he would love to date me.

And I've often had flowers sent from random men at work or met through a friend. He's got balls actually bringing them though!

I don't really see a problem tbh, and if you don't find him attractive then drop a note at his shop and be v nice and say lovely flowers but you're dating so thanks but no thanks. If it's a small community everyone is probably watching with bated breath at the romance so whatever you do will be come common knowledge. Someone's egged him on, I expect.

Justaboy · 07/11/2015 22:09

pigsDOfly Well the more i read of the OLD midden the more it seems to happen among other really odd and bizarre things!.

Gabilan · 07/11/2015 22:10

"I worry I give out the wrong signals sometimes."

It's not you. Some men just don't realise how intrusive they can be or how this sort of thing would freak someone out.

I wouldn't contact him at all as I think any contact might be seen as positive in his eyes. Keep a note of the date of this incident and what happened. Don't contact him. If he contacts you keep the encounter as brief as possible. I really hope for your sake that he is just socially inept, not someone who could turn into a stalker.

I can't find it now but there was a really good recent critique of a film made by a man who went around asking women out on the street. Many people felt sorry for him when women turned him down and seemed to think the women were somehow unfair. This writer pointed out that they were well within their rights just to say no. You don't owe a man something just because he asks you out. Or if you have a slight conversation with him and in his head he builds this up into Romeo and Juliet.

amarmai · 07/11/2015 22:13

'please beleive me'referring to the meaning of pink roses?? what IS the meaning of pink roses ?

pigsDOfly · 07/11/2015 22:13

Well, Just that's the main reason I gave up on it (OLD) pretty quickly some time ago.

DoreenLethal · 07/11/2015 22:14

OP...what were the weird phone calls?

pigsDOfly · 07/11/2015 22:16

Had a quick Google Amarmai and if they're pale pink it's romance and gentleness and all things sweet and pretty. Apparently

Justaboy · 07/11/2015 22:18

pigsDOfly Don't blame you at all I just cannot think that anyone who was serious about finding a life partner would do that or anything remotely like it.

Seems to me to have become some sort of opportunist " if i chuck enough mud i might get a shag" entity which such a pity as the idea is a good one but so abused:-(

amarmai · 07/11/2015 22:36

hmm i think the meaning of pink roses and the fervent note shd also go to the police station. You never know what is relevant and what the follow up to this extravagant first move might be . And do NOT forget the reference to your dd. I only hope his access to flowers does not come from the mortuary business. At my last place of employment a woman used to bring in sheaves of gladioli, irises, chrysanthemums etc=all tall showy blooms and slightly past their best. Her other job was doing the makeup for the deceased before their last viewing.

Floggingmolly · 07/11/2015 22:44

The police are not going to open a file on the receipt of a bunch of flowers, however underwhelmed op was to received them; on the off chance there are further unwanted developments. Hmm

honeyroar · 07/11/2015 22:45

I think it's a bit creepy. But that's all, a bit. No need for police! Clearly you don't like him. Put a lid on it. Tell him thanks, but no thanks. That should be the end of it. If he does anything else, tell him he's out of order. Anything after that would then be a reason to mention it to the police/his work perhaps. Hopefully a simple no thanks will do the trick perfectly well.

SolidGoldBrass · 07/11/2015 22:52

Calling the police at this stage is OTT and unnecessary, as it is reasonably likely that he is a berk rather than a predator - there is a lot of propaganda to the effect that this sort of gesture is 'romantic' rather than creepy or annoying. I would advise ignoring him, and if he does make any further attempts at contact, tell him clearly and calmly that you are not interested. If he persists after being told no thanks, then it's time to involve outside agencies. If he'sa well-meaning berk, he will go away. If he's a potential problem, he will make it obvious once you turn him down.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 07/11/2015 22:53

It's creepy. I doubt he "asked someone" where you live, fairly sure he got your address from his workplace, and if that's possible, he should be reported.

I wouldn't go to the police but I would keep a record of this (and photographic evidence) in case it continues. I also DO think the previous phonecall is related.

Tracking someone down and turning up with flowers months later over "eye contact" is not normal or romantic, it's stalking. He's built up one encounter to massive proportions and is probably convinced you're in love with him. Christ, why are some men so weird?

Original poster
fishfingersinmysandwiches · 07/11/2015 22:54

I am single, yes. And actually he's quite nice looking. He appeared very nervous and awkward, but then I suppose you would...

I have asked around and nobody has anything terrible to say about him. He's separated apparently.

But I must say, I find such an OTT gesture off putting.

OP posts:
Original poster
fishfingersinmysandwiches · 07/11/2015 22:57

Also, as people have pointed out, the fact that he's built up one entirely insignificant encounter that occurred months ago into something big just feels weird.

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 07/11/2015 23:12

Sounds like you know people in common Fish. If he is genuine and a nice guy it's a shame he thought this was a good idea - really trying too hard - and didn't just ask someone to introduce him to you. Silly man.

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