This is creepy, right?

[fishfingersinmysandwiches]

So this evening there was a knock at the door. I openec it and there was a man I vaguely recognise standing with a huge bunch of pink roses saying, "These are for you".

I was totally confused as I was expecting my sons friends dad (whom I've not met before) to bring my son and his friend back to my house for a sleepover, so I was thinking it was rather an over top thank you gesture for having his son over.

But the man then asked if I fancy a coffee sometime? He also gave me a separate pink rose for my daughter, "Just in case she feels left out." I looked blank and replied, "But I don't know you."

He explained that he worked at such and such a place and then it dawned on me where Ii'd seen him before. I'd been into his place of work about three months ago and as far as I'm concerned that is the only time we've ever met. He told me he'd noticed we, "Had a lot of eye contact". Er... have we??? I was too taken aback to send him packing and ended up fobbing him off with some feeble, "Er.. let me think about it and get back to you" comment. I just felt a bit frozen and weirded out to be honest.

What I want to know is how the fuck he knows where I live?

This is creepy and innappropriate, correct? My friend seems to think it's romantic but I'm not happy.

OP - having reread the thread on the phone call; how would you think they are definitely not related? You said that you met this chap 3 months ago, about the same time as the call.

Do you really think it is a coincidence?

What ILiveAtTheBeach said. Goodness me! The man obviously liked the look of you, thought he'd try to start something with flowers...a cack handed gesture perhaps. You don't fancy him. Tell me. The end.

He probably didn't think it through, however going to the police at this point, seriously

*him

OP, the more you say about it, the less creepy it sounds. So nobody has anything bad to say about him, so he's not the town stalker, he lives close to you - so it's not that weird that he could find out where you live.

He's obviously admired you from afar, and this was his way of breaking the ice. I've seen men post on MN before, about how to approach someone they fancy - and some posters actual obviously not very good advice was to send flowers.

As long as you're sure he's not involved in the phone calls.

I think the call the police posts area ridiculous. But I wouldn't like it at all. He turned up at your house, that's all kinds of wrong. But the thing that would annoy me most is him giving a rose to your daughter.

That would raise my hackles for reasons can't quite put my finger on. I wouldn't like any strange man presuming to give my daughter a present.

I would be very suspicious. But I'm suspicious by nature.

Yes, I'd also go for coffee with a handsome man who turned up on my doorstep with flowers (if I was single). In the pre-Internet days, things like this were common. A man would find your address in the phone book, and knock on your door.... Nothing scary or worthy of going to the police

I've changed my mind in the light of more information, ie

• he's good looking
• he's single
• he probably asked around to get your address
• he seemed a bit awkward
• the flowers wouldn't have cost him a fortune
• he suggested coffee. Not dinner or drinks or a shag. Coffee.

IIWY I'd go for a coffee, find out more about him.

And lololololol at the idea of calling the police, ha ha ha.

I'd ask around about him and get people's impressions about him.

If be creeped out too.

It's one thing him being attracted but to come to your home.

All he needed to do was engineer a chance encounter.

Now, admit it. Were you wearing Impulse? That would explain it.

I am glad I'm not alone in thinking this was a rather gentlemanly, although incredibly cack-handed way, of asking someone out in a culture that seems to be dominated by sleaze and sexism.

I was very much prepared to get flamed.

Hi Fish did he have the same accent as the caller in August? If the same incidents are the same person I wouldn't have anything to do with him considering it was a stranger calling you saying these things. It's not normal.

And weird....

Aramynta - do you honestly think that turning up on someone's doorstep, simply because you have access to their address, is okay?

it's not like he emailed her the week after purchase and said "sorry, this might seem forward but would you like to go for a drink".

turning up unannounced seems very far from "gentlemanly" to me.

It's a sliding doors moment. He could be the love of her life, but she'll never know, as she was so cynical/jaded, she didn't go for the coffee.

And a bit unhinged turning up without knowing if your attached!!! What a weirdo.

OP, you've still not told us what you are thinking of doing. You say you found hi creepy and weird and now you are 'asking around'.

He will be waiting for you to call. Will you put him out of his misery or prolong the drama.

All he needed to do was engineer a chance encounter

In practice have you any idea how hard that would be. Also I can just imagine the post on here. saw a guy hanging around outside work the other day for hours, talking to himself, then when I leave work he approaches me and asks for a date!!!! WTF!

Yes I am sure that would go down well on here. Violating personal space, stalking, entitlement etc etc.

As I said above, what's wrong with knocking on someone's door, politely asking for a date and then leaving?

I wouldn't discount a link with the phone calls, actually. That could be something that the police could investigate.

I'm in two minds about this - could be creepy, but could just be a romantic gesture that has gone a bit wrong.

OP what did the note about the meaning of Pink flowers say, I think that's relevant.

And are you sure the phone calls aren't linked?

If feel less intimated by somebody by my work than someone coming to my house. I'm surprised you can't appreciate that.

I love romantic gestures and I also tend to let things slide when people overstep the boundaries, but I'd be seriously creeped out if any man I vaguely knew just turned up at my HOUSE. At my work I could cope with just about. But not at my home.

OP, what's the deal with the phone calls?

I think some posters have been reading too many "romantic" novels