This is creepy, right?

[fishfingersinmysandwiches]

So this evening there was a knock at the door. I openec it and there was a man I vaguely recognise standing with a huge bunch of pink roses saying, "These are for you".

I was totally confused as I was expecting my sons friends dad (whom I've not met before) to bring my son and his friend back to my house for a sleepover, so I was thinking it was rather an over top thank you gesture for having his son over.

But the man then asked if I fancy a coffee sometime? He also gave me a separate pink rose for my daughter, "Just in case she feels left out." I looked blank and replied, "But I don't know you."

He explained that he worked at such and such a place and then it dawned on me where Ii'd seen him before. I'd been into his place of work about three months ago and as far as I'm concerned that is the only time we've ever met. He told me he'd noticed we, "Had a lot of eye contact". Er... have we??? I was too taken aback to send him packing and ended up fobbing him off with some feeble, "Er.. let me think about it and get back to you" comment. I just felt a bit frozen and weirded out to be honest.

What I want to know is how the fuck he knows where I live?

This is creepy and innappropriate, correct? My friend seems to think it's romantic but I'm not happy.

[HelsBels3000]

Take flowers to the police station? HAAAAAAAA

[TheSpottedZebra]

Police is a bit much, no?

Isn't it possible that he saw you again recently, said, ooh I met her, she was nice, and the other person said go for it, she lives X Road.

It's creepy now, yes but not illegal level creepy. I'd ignore, and if he makes contact again, say a firm no and that you found his actions too much. And then If there are any further contacts, escalate.

[PoppyBlossom]

I think the flowers add to the creepy definitely. As you say, the expense of them is obscene for this kind of over the top gesture already.

[SuckingEggs]

Take the flowers back as soon as the place is open. Tell him there just have been a misunderstanding and that you were actually taken aback by him approaching you and, thanks but no thanks...

[fishfingersinmysandwiches]

I think how it was left was him saying, "If I have misread this and then kind of trailing off, and me sort of going, "Um ok, bye" and making to close the door.

His profession is such that the flowers would have been easily obtainable without him having to go out especially to buy them IYSWIM (trying not to be too outing here)

[Justaboy]

fishfingersinmysandwiches Does he know your name?. If so and if you have an ordinary phone then BT residential directories are on-line and that will give your address assuming he knows your name and approximate location. If your not then that does beg a big question. It may well be that he's asked someone who might know you and they told him. You said you lived in a rural area so perhaps unless your a Jones or Evans in South Wales that should be too difficult!. He will if he'd got your address might have phoned up to see if he'd got your "voice".

Weird or romantic?. Suppose years ago might be called romantic, these days questionable!

He might have thought that such a stunning gesture might have impressed you to his attentions but it does seem rather over the top!.

[Waltermittythesequel]

Did he have your address from an order?

[fishfingersinmysandwiches]

But even so, they are quite OTT - the sort of bunch you might expect for a special anniversary or birthday.

[OldGreyCat]

I really wouldn't take the flowers to the Police.
I don't think they will take it seriously, which you might need if this does escalate?
Sorry you feel rattled by it. I would too, I think.

[fishfingersinmysandwiches]

Turns out he lives quite close by. I guess it would be easy for him to find out where I live - all he would have to do is ask someone.

[pigsDOfly]

What do the posters who are saying contact the police think the police are going to do or say. In most parts of the country you can't get the police to come out to you when you've been burgled. I'm pretty certain they're not going to come round and forensically examine the flowers for evidence of wrong doing or dodgy intent.

The man hasn't actually committed a crime, just given the OP some flowers and attempted to hook up with her, albeit in a rather creepy way.

Give it a few days OP and then contact him, thank him for the flowers tell him that you appreciate his gesture but he took you completely by surprise and then give him a reason why you don't want to meet up with him. Or you can just let it ride and see if he contacts you again.

If he then becomes difficult or abusive that's when you contact the police.

[Justaboy]

Blimey profession and flowers?. Humm wedding organiser or arranger but not a bloody undertaker;!?.

[orlakielyimnot]

I wonder if he has just been over thinking things and making a minimal encounter into something more. I would hope for that and that his parting line was perhaps him realising that. But if it comes up again give short clear responses.

[exWifebeginsat40]

are you testing a plot for a new book, OP?

[ItchyArmpits]

I don't think you even need to take the flowers back, tbh.

He turned up at your house uninvited - that was inappropriate and suggests that he isn't gifted socially.

However, the gift he brought was a pretty traditional 'safe' present - it's not like he gave you lingerie - and from your OP he left as soon as you asked him to.

He then invited you for a coffee, which you declined. He's probably just a bit gutted and embarrassed.

Enjoy the flowers yourself or pass them on to someone else. If you're worried your lack of interest wasn't crystal clear enough then you could send him a little thank you note "Thank you for the flowers. I'm not available, but it was a kind thought. All the best."

[exWifebeginsat40]

and yes, you should definitely call the police about a man who gave you flowers*

*don't do this

[ItchyArmpits]

Ah, bollocks. Obviously he didn't invite you for a coffee after he left.

[fishfingersinmysandwiches]

This thing with the eye contact is bothering me. Looking back I vaguely remember a short conversation when I met him at his work place - something about his plan to do something with some extra space he had. As far as I'm concerned it was a perfectly ordinary conversation that I might have with anyone, male or female. How did he take that and come to the conclusion that I was interested in him? I worry I give out the wrong signals sometimes.

[bjrce]

For Gods sake, if you went to the police about this they would laugh at you.
As previous poster says, he didn't insult, threaten or harass you. He did however give you a massive shock and did freak you out, of course you didn't see this coming.
The thing is, he obviously liked you but he got it massively wrong. Some guys go in for the kill, thinking huge romantic gesture, for it to fall flat on his face
I have to say, when I started to read your thread, I started to laugh, I could just imagine your shock, you describe the incident very well, it sounds like a story a friend would tell me.
He's probably at home now thinking " oh Jesus, what have I done?".
The last thing I would do is return the flowers. Try not to worry to much, its not every day an admirer comes to the door with flowers, look on the bright side, at least he's not a cheakskate!.

[fishfingersinmysandwiches]

No exWife

That would be a shit book.

[ghostspirit]

the card said please believe me. almost like it was for someone else. like there had been a fall out and hes giving flowers saying please believe me. ie believe me im not lying to you type of thing :/

anyway still very odd

[pigsDOfly]

Shouldn't worry you're giving out the wrong signals Fish a lot of people will read more into perfectly ordinary friendly behaviour if they really fancy someone or they're a bit socially inept.

Poor bloke probably thought he was being incredibly romantic and would sweep you off your feet.

As pp poster said romantic movies have got a lot to answer for.

[Justaboy]

Suppose the question as to be asked are you single and/or available and err, were you impressed with him at all;?.

[pigsDOfly]

You're not the flower man are you Justaboy. The questions has to be asked

[ItchyArmpits]

You are not giving out the wrong signals (this doesn't happen every day, right?)

How did he take that and come to the conclusion that I was interested in him?

I think he came to the conclusion that he was interested in you. Exhibit A, the flowers - intended to engender feelings of joy and probably gratitude. Exhibit B, the flower for your daughter - to show how kind and thoughtful and child-friendly he is.

Exhibit C, the invitation to coffee - a low-key, unintimidating style date.

I don't think you need to worry.