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Original poster

Support thread for old

153 replies

kateshair · 18/10/2015 08:42

Hi all I've done old for a year now.
Have experienced highs and lows several lows !!
Had dates with no connection whatsoever regardless of getting on well via the site. Had a date with bang instant chemistry. Had dates that have turned into a relationship (so I thought ) only to have then simply disengage with me...
I'm coming close to pulling the plug on it all. Not sure it helps that I'm the ripe old age of 40.. Last time I was single was 29 and within six months had meet someone ...
Am finding the men on old go for or hope to go for women ten years younger than them..
What do you all think...
Would be nice to have a place to vent and discuss this all. The dating thread seems to be quiet of late..

OP posts:
Blossomflowers · 20/10/2015 13:55

I have been OLD for past 2 years and have lost count of number of dates LOL. At the ripe old age of 50. Normally me that finishes things, think as we get older we know what we want or not as the case maybe. I live in hope

Elliementalmydearwatson · 20/10/2015 14:00

I'm not in my first flush of youth either.

Unfortunately I seem to be like flypaper for perverts!

Blossomflowers · 20/10/2015 14:02

ah yes the pervs,lots of those, plenty of cock shots, also I was stunned when I first went on line about the amount of very young guys into older woman, youngest was 18 shudder.

angelpan · 20/10/2015 14:13

It was more a flippant remark, justaboy.

WavingNotDrowning · 20/10/2015 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

angelpan · 21/10/2015 08:25

Waving, I get that a lot. I'm in my late 40s and I get 24 year old blokes messaging me. I always think they're taking the piss, but then I'm a cynical old bag!!

Elliementalmydearwatson · 21/10/2015 08:55

Well the bloke who suggested meeting up to which I replied "in free Sunday for a coffee?" has yet to respond.......I'm not taking that as a good sign!

However he has looked at my profile at least 4/5 times since I suggested it, it makes me feel like I'm being sized up to see if I'm worth it or as *Waving" said I'm on some B-list in case his first options aren't free.

Still I've been brave and messages a nice lawyer, let's see how that goes.

Original poster
kateshair · 21/10/2015 09:05

Yes I think most of them have a b or even c list !!
I guess that's the nature of this all. No ideal at all..
I'm going to be straight with future ones... If we are seeing each other four weeks in I'm going to ask outright where do you think this is going ?

OP posts:
Elliementalmydearwatson · 21/10/2015 09:14

No, it's not ideal but I deal with it pretty swiftly if he hasn't responded by lunchtime ( I can tell he's been online) I'm just deleting and forgetting about him. Let someone else take my place on the substitutes bench!

MadeMan · 21/10/2015 09:20

"why do the young men message older women?"

Possibly on their tick list of conquests.

Same Age Woman - check
Older Woman - check
Asian Woman - not yet

paulapompom · 21/10/2015 09:33

Hmm I have also had attention from younger men. Years ago i dated someone younger for a year. He was 24 I was 33 so not a huge difference. However now I'm 40 something I am hoping for a more mature man.

paulapompom · 21/10/2015 09:35

Taking note of this thread. - if they arse about forget it and delete/block.

WavingNotDrowning · 21/10/2015 11:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elliementalmydearwatson · 21/10/2015 11:26

Good luck for tonight Waving!

I've deleted Mr Indecisive, he was clearly underwhelmed by my awesomeness!! Grin Grin

NEXT!!

paulapompom · 21/10/2015 11:55

Oohh yes good luck waving.

Can I ask a daft question please?

I have some messages and winks on this site (gms) some I will respond to, but I don't think some of them are my cup of tea. What is the right thing to do? Do you respond and just see? Or not respond. A few people I have messaged have just not responded to me and that's fine.

Oh God i am so crap at dating stuff! Please sort me out xx

Elliementalmydearwatson · 21/10/2015 12:09

Paula it depends what kind of messages they have sent; if it's are a generic "Hi" I don't bother to reply but if they have sent a longer, more thoughtful message I will reply.

BUT I do wimp out of saying thanks but no thanks directly, I usually tell a white lie and say thanks but I've just started seeing someone and want to see how that works out Blush

paulapompom · 21/10/2015 12:20

Thanks Ellis that sounds sensible. I know people send out loads of 'hi' messages to see what comes back. But one bloke has sent a nice personal message. We live miles apart and have no interests in common, but I'd like to reply.

Another one has told me I look amazing (I don't ) and says he has more pics, and given me his mob no. Bit worried about cock shots there tbh.

Blush
Elliementalmydearwatson · 21/10/2015 12:29

Oh definitely don't go there!
That's how all the pervs start their conversations, well in my experience anyway. The pervs are also the most keen to take the messages "off site" by starting to text etc.

Next thing you know he will be asking if you have any more "pics".

Blossomflowers · 21/10/2015 14:55

Waving good luck. I have had a bit of fun talking to young ones, it does mystify my but think some guys find older woman attractive, I would never go there. I have a son who is 24 FFS. I am talking to loads, will see if anyone is worth seeing this weekend. Think I might start a diary lol

niceupthedance · 22/10/2015 09:49

Does anyone have any advice on dating someone where there isn't a massive physical spark? Been on three dates and enjoy his company, kissing is ok-good but he's a bit of a wet blanket. Not sure whether to see if we are compatible in bed to see if that swings it one way or the other or just to park it now. I'm not used to dating men who are attentive and sweet. Help!?

Handywoman · 22/10/2015 10:40

Don't do it nice if the kissing is only 'ok' and you feel like he's a bit of a wet blanket then it won't be your happy ending, trust me! I've just come out of a year long relationship based in that.

My only caveat is that if he's fab in the sack and you are both happy to have a no-strings thing, on which case go for it!!

I think OLD can be such a long-winded time intensive thing (weeding out the chaff and actually finding someone worth meeting) that it can be easy to consider settling.

niceupthedance · 22/10/2015 11:14

You're right Handywoman, I've had such a horrible time with jerks in the last year I'm tempted to just hang out with this guy and see what happens but get the feeling that would not be fair on him. On paper he's great, he makes me laugh and we have a similar outlook etc. but he's probably not the one. We have a date this weekend so will see how that goes.

Blossomflowers · 22/10/2015 12:30

nice It really depends on how important looks are. For me it is important but them maybe I am a shallow git. Do you fancy him?

niceupthedance · 22/10/2015 12:41

My past partners have not been er, traditionally good looking, so I found I fancied them more the more I spent time with them. This guy isn't unattractive but I'm not thinking phwoar. I think it's more that perhaps I don't find his sweetness a turn on. Oh where is the middle ground fgs!?

Blossomflowers · 22/10/2015 13:17

It is a tricky one. I met a guy recently who was very short ( he lied on his profile), great fun, personality but could not get over the height thing. I also go for looks but it really is the not the most important thing. Maybe give a little more time and see how you feel. I have a hot date on Friday and he is tall lol and seems good looking, quite rugged.