just found out his friend isn't just a friend # 2

[binders1]

Binder army, please find me.

In summary found out 10 days ago OH has been having an affair for the 14 years we have been together and we have one DS 8 yrs. OW is someone he has been sleeping with since college. She is married with 2 dc' s and who knows OH could be biological father of child(re n). She is also someone we have been to lunches and dinners twice yearly where she has acted inappropriately. When questioned OH years ago he said I was mad and denied a relationship except friendship. Found porno photos of them over the decades in the loft.

I don't know what else to say as so much info was in thread 1. I have relied on the support of the old thread. I call them my binder army. Tomorrow is d day, he leaves the house or we do.

You could phone her h and tell him now TBH. It's blatantly apparent after that text that she has no intention of doing it herself or even behaving respectfully towards him and he does need to know.

And where the feck is Hellkitty all of a sudden, I need an artistic representation of OW's imminent meltdown

Yes come on Binders have a word with yourself. You're so much better than that. SNAP OUT OF IT, WOMAN!!!

I think I would like to reply, 'Thanks for reminding me, I knew there was something else I was supposed to do this week' and let her stew some more.

I know the logical controlled way to respond is not to. However...

If I got a text like that I'd have sent a reply:

OW- How wonderful to finally hear from you. I'm sorry to hear you've been unwell do to the situation you and EX have created for yourselves. I completely understand wanting to think of your children- as you know EX and I have one together however that didn't stop either of you engaging in your sordid affair over many many years (including the years you had DC.. the ones you are finally thinking about now!) If your lovely DH or children end up getting hurt over your mess you have only yourself and EX to blame. Good luck in the future and never contact me again.

Cheerio!

Surely enough people now know about the situation (and knowing human nature will be talking about it to others) to make whether you choose to tell OW's H or not a moot point?

Can you block her? I think on most smartphones you have the facility to do so.

Sorry, lurker, thought I'd pop and say hi. You're handling this awful situation amazingly.

If she texts you again so you will forward this and all future texts to her dh

Say not so

I've been lurking and I just had to de-lurk to say... THE BLOODY BRASS NECK OF THAT WOMAN!!!

I would text her back and just write "Good." but I am a massive bitch and would be totally enjoying the thought of her worrying herself to bits over whether or not I would spill the beans to her DH. You are much more dignified and have made the right choice not to contact her.

Well done you.

Not an artistic representation....but is this kinda what you mean notgrumpy?

OMG the cheek! Bloody hell. I think I'd like to respond "Haha" and nothing else. I also like Smashley's text, but I'd definitely add the "Cheerio"! But of course everybody is right, the best reply is no reply. She's feeling sick - but not half as sick as her oh will feel when he finds out, especially as there is potential paternity issues (but hopefully not). I do hope her oh finds out soon. If she texts and tells you she's told him, don't believe her until you've spoken to him yourself. She will probably say you and ex split because you're crazy and you thought something was going on but it's not - and of course your ex will corroborate.

Yes Phoenix very much that sort of thing

So she's sorry for "what happened", so taking no responsibility for her part in it??? She should be fucking sorry for not only fucking your dh but for openly and happily attempting to make a fool of you over the years by making you uncomfortable when out as a foursome. Will do her some good to be sweating now. You should do a Dr foster and ask her dh to bring her for dinner at yours but "shh it's a surprise, don't tell her where she's going", and then watch the bitch sweat all night while you swan around casually mentioning that you and your dh have split. Only problem with that is you then make a fool of her lovely dh and he doesn't deserve that.

...speechless here...

The pair of them are made for each other.

Hi. You're doing great girl! Keep hanging on, they are behaving like cornered animals because they both know the game is up! Let her squirm. I'd be tempted to send a friendly text to her DH. Just a hi hope you're well knowing that her head would explode when she sees your name pop up but you're a better person than me.

OP, how about forwarding OW's text to her OH? OW won't trouble you again by text after that and her hand will be forced into admitting her affair to OH before she has a chance to badmouth you. Which she will otherwise.

Job done?

Oo loving the witchy smileys!

I think I would forward screenshot to your ex and ask "did you put her up to this?"

The nasty piece of work is being rather sociopathic bold by texting you. Maybe it is time the DH knew. I am so annoyed for you that they still think you owe them something. That they can bully you. A hex on her house!

Actually, I think forwarding her text to OWH is a good idea.

The alternative is to arrange to meet her somewhere, and then knowing she will be at a certain place waiting for you, pop round and speak to OHW.

She will have no qualms whatever in making up a story for her DH which paints you in a bad light.

Delurking again as a result of the brass necked OW. Agog at her level of selfishness and feeling the rage on your behalf.

I think you are doing marvellously well, and at risk of x posting with anyone, can I just suggest you expect this same question to come from your ex. Because she will probably go to him next crying about how you won't put her mind at ease .

If he asks, then tell him your personal life is none of his business. Nothing more, nothing less.

If he asks say I can see there is only one way to stop you two pestering me about when / if I am going to say anything and that is to do it now. Unless, of course, OW thinks it would be better coming from her. Because one way or another he is going to find out

SmallLegs that's a spot on suggestion!