just found out his friend isn't just a friend # 2

[binders1]

Binder army, please find me.

In summary found out 10 days ago OH has been having an affair for the 14 years we have been together and we have one DS 8 yrs. OW is someone he has been sleeping with since college. She is married with 2 dc' s and who knows OH could be biological father of child(re n). She is also someone we have been to lunches and dinners twice yearly where she has acted inappropriately. When questioned OH years ago he said I was mad and denied a relationship except friendship. Found porno photos of them over the decades in the loft.

I don't know what else to say as so much info was in thread 1. I have relied on the support of the old thread. I call them my binder army. Tomorrow is d day, he leaves the house or we do.

Wow! Everything is going so smoothly!

Wonderful that everything has gone smoothly. Best of luck binders :)

Hope you're feeling ok today and getting up and out for school and work is alright.

You did amazingly well - so very impressive.

Morning Binders be string today! You've done so well. You're a great example to your ds about how people should expect to be treated. You're an example to girls everywhere too.

You must be exhausted love

Your little boy will be fine, he has a mum that loves him very much and you will make a great little team

Be kind to yourself xx

Be strong today not string. My auto correct decided you being twine would be good today.

Oh well done Binders! I'm so glad to hear that!

Second what zetetic said

I hope you are feeling as okay as possible Binders. You did so well over the weekend.

Don't forget, we are still here if you need hand-holding for the next steps - or you are just feeling sad.

Hi Binders, hope you're ok. We're all still here if you need us

Hoping you're ok Binders

I'm glad he's gone but you must be drained now that it's all done (for now). I hope you and DS are doing well

Thinking about you binders and hoping you're looking after yourself and your lovely DS.

You amazing lot! Hugs to binders.

Hope you're ok binders. Just realised I didn't post on Sunday so I wanted to say im really glad he left as agreed.

Hi, thank you for all your kind words and a few more good points to think about. I have taken up the advice on the chain on the door. I am not allowed to change the locks but a chain is fine so done that.

Yesterday I also went into school to speak to DS's teacher just to make her aware of what's happening. I know DS has mentioned few months back a couple of children crying in class when their mum's and dads split up - I hope he will be ok. EX is picking him up from school tomorrow and taking him swimming which he is really looking forward - think last time he went swimming with him was when he was about 4 so that's good.

A big challenge will be all the access arrangements and hate the thought of losing DS part of xmas. EX has never been interested in christmas, never bought any presents or anything, it was always me. He never even watched DS open his presents. I hope there are no arguments DS staying with me xmas eve and at least most of xmas day or causing a problem just because he knows how special that time of year is to me and how special I make it for DS.

Besides that I'm feeling okay'ish. DS keeps me going and had me laughing tonight about his mischievous friends at school and tonight i bought his Halloween costume for his school disco which he is excited about.

At the moment the same money is being paid into the same account, so I don't have to worry about finances. I am keen to sort the house out asap, which I need to discuss with EX. Will try hard to save as much as I can in the meantime.

Thanks again everyone for thinking of me.

Jesus Binders, you're so strong love, and you're doing so well.

One step at a time. It sounds like you're being methodical and organised

And actually, the more you say about him the more of a cunt he sounds

Well done. You are doing great.

Good to hear from you Binders, it will all take some getting used to but I'm sure you'll tackle it with the same poise that got you this far and your army will always be ready to support you if you need them to

Fab to hear from you. X

EX (love the capitals) needs to be reminded that Xmas is for children & not a platform for hurting & point scoring. & you can remind him that his Xmas alone is entirely of his own doing, or maybe OW can invite him over .

Glad to hear from you again.

It seems from your two most recent posts that your EX really didn't do much with your DS. This split may make him step up now and become a better father.

Your ideas for Xmas seem fair, just stand firm about it...maybe let him have DS Xmas day night and Boxing Day...maybe new year?