just found out his friend isn't just a friend # 2

[binders1]

Binder army, please find me.

In summary found out 10 days ago OH has been having an affair for the 14 years we have been together and we have one DS 8 yrs. OW is someone he has been sleeping with since college. She is married with 2 dc' s and who knows OH could be biological father of child(re n). She is also someone we have been to lunches and dinners twice yearly where she has acted inappropriately. When questioned OH years ago he said I was mad and denied a relationship except friendship. Found porno photos of them over the decades in the loft.

I don't know what else to say as so much info was in thread 1. I have relied on the support of the old thread. I call them my binder army. Tomorrow is d day, he leaves the house or we do.

Good luck for today, Binders and lovely sis.

ROTTWEILER!
And I missed her, you should hire yourself out!
Crossing everything here for you today

Delurking for Binders Army - we'll all be there today standing behind you, sis and DS. All of us here are virtually propping you up and holding your hand x

Good morning Binder and the captain of the binders army Rottweiler!

I hope everything goes smoothly today. Stay strong my lovely, be calm and carry on taking no shite from cock wobble!

Thinking or you and your beautiful DS today. Xx

Hi Binders, delurking to send love and support for today.
Your stbxh behaved appallingly yesterday. He trampled over the boundary you set and showed no regard for you or your DS.

I echo what a PP said. Be careful about telling your DS together when emotions are running high. I am not sure your stbxh can be trusted to put your DS needs first. It would be much better for this to happen once he is calmer and has stopped his 'poor me' acting out and accepted the consequences of his actions.

You do not need to work to his schedule. He has already shown a disregard for your DS by his behaviour yesterday.

Wishing you lots of luck and best wishes today binders and rotty xx

MrsP reporting for duty.

So nice to finally hear from the Rotty herself! You are exactly the same with your family as I am mine. Nothing better than having the support and love of family.

I'll be here just pottering about, will also be arranging the arrival of celebratory Gin for later on!

I agree you need to talk to XP first and discuss what you are going to say to DS, you're both on the same page then and you won't be worrying Binders about what he could potentially say and not be prepared for.

Lots of love and hugs! Xxx

KOKO Binders we're all here again for today. You're doing brilliantly and your sister is ace

Good morning Binders and Rittweiller Sis

I have just got back from early morning mass which I offered up for the Binders family. You may not believe in my faith - but my prayers can never harm you.

It is now clear to me that Binders has made the decision that permanent separation is her only way forward. I will be here to support that - but I have no experience of separation, or how to tell children.

But I am here and ready to help when the crash happens. It might start tonight when STBXP leaves the family home. The adrenalin will subside and the tears will start. That is the beginning of the grief process (which MUST be done) and I have been awarded the t-shirt for grief over the past 14 years.

I do hope all goes well today. I will keep checking in between walking my elderly dog. My DN was 6 yrs old when his daddy (my brother) died. At least DS will not have to face a permanent loss of his DF because I know that Binders and Rottweiller Sis will put his needs before all others. I even think that FIL is in the Binders Army.

Good luck for today. You are in my thoughts and prayers

Good luck for today we are all thinking of you X

De-lurking to offer support. Hope you and DS are okay. Go easy on yourself xx

Have just read both threads (instead of the Sunday paper).

My heart goes out to you binder - all those years! I'm in awe of how well you've handled this. Far far better than I would have. You have maintained a dignity and maturity throughout.

Keeping fingers crossed that he does the decent thing today and moves out.

Just spent the morning reading your threads and wanted to de-lurk. You are doing brilliantly and you're so lucky to have a wonderful sister watching your back. Good luck today.

Hi everyone, sister told me she had given an update, which I'm glad I was out for the count. She said she could easily have been on there all night.

Sister and I read the link about telling children and we are about to go over to mine and discuss with OH what we are going to say to DS and how we are going to say it. Mum is bringing DS around lunchtime.

I hope he does what he said he will do. I can't wait for this weekend to be over.

Thinking of you, hope it goes well

binders you have a good head on your shoulders and the right RL support, you'll be fine and your dickhead stbex will soon realise that his games won't work. Your DS will be fine too, you're a fab mother who will do really well at single mother-ness.

PS your Sister rocks

Binders you can do this. I promise. It's an old MN favourite but the phrase "this too shall pass" may be of some comfort.

Rotty you could register and get your own username.....sounds like you'd be an asset to the site.......

good luck today Binders

Another lurker wishing you good luck for today - hope he is as good as his word (for once) and moves out ASAP.

Well done to you, your sister and friends for yesterday. Some time in the future, when some of the hurt has subsided, you will look back on that day with pride - how well you handled it.

I notice that while you have an online and a real-life army, your STBXP does not. Speaks volumes.

Good luck binders.

I agree with the PP.

you can do this

I hope it goes as well as can be expected.

I've been thinking of you often this week btw, just been busy.

Thinking of you today binders (and sister). You are handling this so well.

Glad you're ok, you'll get through it and out the other side. There will be happy times after this, you'll be ok.

And no matter what you go through, you'll always have the comfort of knowing that you've done the right thing, you can hold your head up high with dignity. Something your STBX and OW will never be able to do.