DRY 9!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

The DRY 8 thread suddenly came to an end! 1000 messages before we knew it.

THis is the thread for those who are abstaining and who want to abstain from alcohol. :)

All are welcome.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8?

Bam - I'm angry on your behalf! Seriously, that is just NOT ON. Please, find your anger about it, it's not as much your fault as it is his. It's just the same as buying a wrap of smack for a heroin addict "as a treat". It's not a treat, he knows that and you know it. Please please please tell him NEVER to do that again. Time to set some ground rules I think. If he wants to cave in and go and buy booze, tell him to drink it out of the house or something. You need to get a sober cocoon going.

It's great that you're back here, getting back on it - the positive way forwards. But I'm still fuming on your behalf

Rainy - well done for surviving the weekend. I try not to think about "never again", because who knows? I thought about drinking after being in court last week because by the time it finished the adrenaline rush felt as though nothing but alcohol would help me climb down off the walls. I didn't, and drank AF beer in the bar with my legal team (who were quaffing white wine; they were also full of adrenaline!) but I really sort of "played with the feeling" of wanting to drink, sat there thinking about it, and what it would really mean. I knew that it would just be a temporary salve on my feelings, that I'd be in that bar two hours later trying to wheedle my way into making people want to drink more and want to stay, in full on "fuck it" mode, and would have a banging hangover the next day. All the while chock full of "I deserve it after the day I've had" justification. But nothing beats waking up hangover free.... as the saying goes, that NEVER gets old.

Thanks Teapot that's really helpful. I think I might have done some of that when resisting the prosecco. There is nothing wrong with a glass for most people, but I know that I would then be thinking about when I could have a top up and how I could mention to my DH that I wanted to stop off at the shops for more wine. I did play out the whole evening in my head. I think that will be a useful tactic next weekend. I am really pleased that I am narrowing down my drinking triggers already though. I have never been this successful before

Thank you teapot. I have told him I don't want to do that again, but maybe I need to be more forceful. We were doing so well, but then he has a big problem with alcohol too, so we need to be tougher on each other. I think I am possibly the stronger of us in that respect, but it's hard not to crumble when the temptation is there. It's hard but I am determined.

I've got such a glamorous picture of you sitting in a wine bar with your legal team! I am imagining something like Ally McBeal!

Hi rainy. You are doing so well! My goal is definitely "never again", but who knows? Sometimes I think if I lived alone then I would be okay and able to moderate, and that it's because DP and I enable each other and have fallen into a rut, but that's probably nonsense and I would be just as bad wherever I was.

Oh dear I had a feeling I'd given the impression of something glamorous! Far from it...!

Yes please be really firm with him and utilise that strength you have when you're sober and feeling strong. Make it a rule that neither of you are going to push it onto the other if you have a moment of weakness. Although it's good that you're straight back on the wagon, all the while you have these perpetual 'slips' you never get out of the "shallow end". I want you to get a stretch behind you so that you can stretch out and kick your legs in the freedom of the "deep end" of sobriety... :)

Rainy - you're doing really well. I was thinking the other day that it's as though by even having one glass, it awakens the alcoholic person inside of me/us... the manipulative one who will start being sneaky or wanting more and thinking non stop about how to get it. Other people mostly can't see that "sneaky us" because we keep the machinations of our addict brain well hidden!

Ah teapot, you should have just gone along with the glam image, while we enviously imagined your swishy hair, immaculate makeup, and sexy legal team!

I am not feeling very strong today at all. I have got a horrible cold coming on, and just feel tired and run down. I love your swimming analogy, and the thought of stretching out in the sunshine in deep water sounds lovely. That's where I want to get, but at the moment I feel more like I'm floundering in a muddy puddle. There is another thread just now where the OP is asking if anyone else ever wishes they could be admitted to hospital, just to get a rest. I often think if I could be hospitalised for a month or so, maybe I would be able to stop! That's the sort of warped thinking that the booze causes though.

BamBam another restart here for me as well. Was doing great, taking part in Dry October etc as well - then had to go away for a weekend for work and had a "why not" moment and drank a glass of wine or two on Sat night with dinner - felt ok, didn't have any more..."Yay I can moderate now" I though - ha ha ha

Then half term week came, I was v stressed, etc - all just excuses but still - and so I drank some more. And then drank some more :( Basically felt very out of control about alcohol. I was right back, very quickly, to the very worst of my drinking habits, even if only for two evenings.

I got complacent and was around drinking people and thought I could cope - but for some reason which I have yet to establish, this time I couldn't cope.

So ...back on Day 2 here again, keeping busy and feeling strong at moment, but a bit worried as I am away this weekend for 4 days - can't get out of it - its work - and I am worried I won't be able to not drink. I need to look at my sober toolkit and have things WITH ME that I can use to not drink, if I feel the urge.

Evening! Been AWOL from thread what with cold & half term. Cold's on the way out and kids are back
Bam agree with everything Ally McBeal Teapot said

Glad sober first aid kit time for you. You can read about it on the brill Mrs D's community site here Can you pull one together in time for your week-end away?

Evening all!

Day 2 again for me. I managed 53 days and then blew it. I went out with friends last weekend and I thought sod it. I have been going through a rough time lately and needed to have a good time. And I did have a good time. Drank a fair bit, same amount as friends, but nothing embarrassing happened. The next few days were not so good. I was tired, down, more anxious, suffered abdominal pain and felt the fear, even though I knew it was irrational to do so.

Then this weekend. I drank two beers while getting ready to go out. I then had a glass of wine, a bottle of wine, a bottle of beer and a vodka between 8pm and 11pm. The people I was with had three pints each, though they had been drinking earlier in the day. Thankfully I was well behaved but I could have easily made a complete fool of myself.

At the moment I think I need to decline any social activity where drink is involved. This is a worry with the festive season approaching.

Hi all, I'd like to join you if I may.

I've name changed for this thread, but I was on this year's long running Dry January threads and the Dry June thread. Those threads were in Chat & have now disappeared, but some of you might know me from there if you look at my anagrammatic name change closely enough

I just feel the time is right to stop as I have a seriously faulty off-switch when it comes to wine and thanks to a very stressful few months recently my consumption has been going up and I've been struggling to moderate. So it's time to have another go at being dry. I'm aiming to do Dry November to start with then see how I feel. I'd be glad of some support, please.

Day Two today. Had a rotten night's sleep last night so hoping for a better one tonight.

Lucy I have spent this evening doing just that :) Sober tool kit at the ready, didn't drink tonight :) feeling ok

Morning all!

Welcome Armada. :)

Hi, joining you. Day 2 of no booze or smoking. Hoping to quit both, as one acts as a trigger for the other. Was drinking 1-2 bottles of wine a night, starting as soon as I walked in the door.

Welcome Armada & Sharp :) Lurked on the Dry January thread but not recognising the anagram yet

creeps quietly through the back door.....

Hi everyone, as you can probably guess by my absence, I crashed big time, drowning in a sea of wine instead of my bath full of bubbles.

I have no other excuse other than I didn't fight hard enough, it is a battle and it is tough sometimes, but I have to will win the war.

Loved Molly's post. Like many similar posts it gives me hope that I can achieve my quest for a life of sobriety.

So back to day one. My calculator tells me that I will be on day 54 on boxing day. That number is significant for me so that is my goal.

Welcome to Sharp and all the other new recruits and hope things aren't too tough for you teapot. My own divorce is going far too smoothly, no courts, just things being signed and returned on time although we haven't got to the financial settlement yet and I need to be sober to get through that.

Happy Tuesday everyone and never give up giving up. x

Morning all, welcome to all the newcomers

Thanks again Teapot. I really identify with your words, particularly about being manipulative after only one drink.

I am finding this thread really useful. I am not sure I could have made it so far without support. Day 16 here! Just trying to take it one day at a time.

Hi Bubbles, I had a lapse too. Day 3 again for me.

I feel that I have let myself and my family down. My head is saying move on as the guilt only fuels the vicious cycle.

I was ill for a couple of weeks and the upside was that I had no interest in drinking and I was able to get out of a night out.

I need to adopt a plan to help me through social situations. So that is my task for this week.

Hello to everybody else. Wishing you a happy sober day!

Hi everyone. Welcome armada and sharp.

Last night was a write-off, so this is Day 1 (again). I feel so fed up with myself, but I feel positive too. I spoke to DP, and made it clear that I want this to be a permanent cessation of drinking, and that there can be no "treats", because we just don't work that way.

Good to see you again bubble. We can chum each other along as we are both back to Day 1! It definitely is a hard battle.

It might sound very cheesy, but I am trying to find myself an anthem to keep me going. My shortlist just now is Something Changed by Pulp, Caledonia by Dougie MacLean, and possibly that Fight Song that's around just now. Does anybody else do this?

No BamBam, but I quite like the idea. Eye of the tiger by Survivor is springing to mind.

Ooh, good call sea! Or maybe We Are the Champions?

I just saw a version of Fight Song by a Scottish band called The Piano Guys. The have sort of fused it with Amazing Grace and play it with piano, cello and bagpipes. It's so beautiful, and I feel a bit teary now!

We are the Champions is a bit too slow. Eye of the tiger is just so kick ass

I am going to google The Piano Guys.

Hmm, how about Don't Stop Me Now? It's a good sentiment for us Dry people!

I just had a full-on sob to Caledonia. I need to pull myself together, as I will collect DS2 from nursery soon!

I like it BamBam but not feisty enough for me. I have always loved Amazing Grace though.

Aww bless you. I have to collect my DS soon too. The morning goes far too quickly

I do like Queen, but I associate a lot of their anthems with drinking; ie drunkenly singing with friends.

The mornings just fly by. I have done nothing today, as I need to be gentle with myself to start the fight all over again, and that means taking time for myself.

It's funny how music affects us all differently. Anything that can lift us up and encourage us to keep going has to be a good thing though.

You know, I always have Food Network on in the background, and I don't think there has been hardly a single recipe without booze. It's ridiculous!

Agreed, I love Queen but they are on my exercise playlist instead.

Yes I have sober anthem type songs that I like to belt out when the mood tales me. Off the top of my head. Not Afraid, Eminem. Sober, Pink. Rise above this, Seether. Learning to Fly, Pink Floyd. Step by Step, Whitney Houston, which also does a great double as a running song There's loads more as I love all sorts of music but can't think of them right now.

Hi and welcome Armada and sharp