DRY 9!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

The DRY 8 thread suddenly came to an end! 1000 messages before we knew it.

THis is the thread for those who are abstaining and who want to abstain from alcohol. :)

All are welcome.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8?

[Wtfmummy]

That's a great idea about getting in some nice soft drinks! Thank you CheesyNachos.

I think my plan of action is to get changed into my running gear for school pick up with the aim to do a run straight after kids dinner at 5 as DH will be back from work early today. That way I definitely won't be tempted to have a drink and then by the time I've finished my run and showered etc it'll be time for dinner with DH.

I'm going to speak to DH tonight about my drinking. I know he'll be pretty supportive, it's tricky as he works in the drinks industry and likes a drink himself but I just can't do it anymore, it's got to be damaging my health and I can't do that to my kids. Plus it's so expensive and I should be ashamed of myself guzzling £7 a night when that could go towards Christmas and birthdays etc.

What kinds of things did you all do to celebrate getting to 100 days?

[CheesyNachos]

Hello!

Good luck Fartemis with your operation!

wtf there are a number of apps around that allow you to calculate how much you save by not drinking. I do not use apps (I count manually), but Lucy has mentioned before the one she uses. It is deeply inspiring to see the costs add up! (And they add up so damn fast!).

I have been on off sober since March 2014. I never counted days in the first several attempts, so am not sure if I got to 100 days without a slip.I do count now as I also find that inspiring! But, what I did in the early days was bought myself a small treat (magazine, flowers etc) every second day or so.

I also put a pound coin in a jar for every day I do not drink, and on the first of each month I buy a treat with the money. So far I have bought things like woolen mittens, a lovely silver pendant necklace, a ceramic vase, things like that. For this month I am planning a pedicure. I am a huge fan of sober treats as part of self care - I think most women drink excessively because we are usually hurting ourselves in some way (in my opinion anyway). Self-care is such a vital part of recovery I think. Plus, it's nice. :)

[Umpteen]

Yes yes yes to self-care!

I very much like this post on the Unpickled blog. I was reading it aloud to DH (who is very supportive of my sobriety) and I started crying near the end. It really struck a chord with me and I thought, "wtf, where did all that emotion cone from?"

unpickledblog.com/2015/10/08/why-self-care-is-so-important-to-recovery/

[RainyBow]

Morning all, I am on Day 4 here and feeling quite positive. Still have the shame lingering from Sunday but hoping keep focussing on the changes I am making.

I would definitely second getting treats in to help. It is working for me. Don't think I have saved any money just yet thanks to fizzy drinks and chocolate consumption

I do plan on doing the treat thing though as well. I think that is such a nice way to celebrate progress. I do think that I have got out of the habit of treating myself, or looking for the chocolates and biscuits that I like at the shops. Wine was always my treat which I was ashamed of.

Good luck with your operation Fartemis. Welcome wtfmummy! I am only a few days ahead of you but your post really resonated with me. Good luck!

[Petradreaming]

Right, I have stopped. This time for good. But I am taking it one day at a time. I don't need it, I don't want it and I don't like it any more. Its made me fat. I hate being fat. I hate being fat much more that I like drinking beer. My stomach has acid in it all the time and I bloated. I hate what it has done to me and I am officially now telling it to do one.

I know I will struggle, I know it will be hard at times but I am going to do this.

[custardcreamdreams]

Best of luck with the surgery Fartemis

Glad you had a better night Cheesy.

Welcome Wtfmummy, I've 'seen' you on the running thread too :) Great idea heading for a run tonight. I initially took it up myself to keep me off the cigarettes and booze, got the bug and love it. I honestly can't think what I did at 100 days. I also have bought myself little treats frequently along the way. Splurges have been clothes and boots, entries to running events, furniture for ds's bedroom. I have a little bit of savings now which is something I never would have done in my drinking days.

Good luck Petra, I have a condition that causes terrible heartburn and acid anyway but since stopping I have noticed a vast improvement. It's actually under control with my medication now.

[RainyBow]

Good luck Petra

I have hit my first major craving and I'm really struggling. Any tips on how to distract myself? I am already negotiating with myself

[CheesyNachos]

Rainy, have a nice warm shower or bath, then have a hot chocolate or cup of tea and sit down. Cravings last 10 minutes.

[CheesyNachos]

then after that.... homework with DCs? Put on a dvd? Bake a cake? Then bed early. :) Another day done and dusted.

[RainyBow]

Oh thank you Cheesy, excellent advice. I have just finished a shower and am sitting down, all clean and moisturised, while eating chocolate.

You are right about the craving passing. I still have it to a certain extent but I am not obsessing about it.

[melborne2015]

Rainy, I am on Day 12 and had just one day (Friday night after 2 hour school pickup) where I really really craved but nearly every night I think about it. what I found helped was

1. eat or drink something else immediately. I open a can of fizzy wateras soon as I think of a glass of wine. I have also let myself eat as much chocolate and as many biscuits as I like.
   

1. I think that I can have a moment of angst now and a guilt free lovely morning tomorrow or I can have an indulgence now and feel like crap in the morning. For years I picked the evening indulgence and it didn't make me particularly happy. now I am picking the morning feeling great and it is much better.
   

1. It is ok to want something and not have it. I don't have to get everything I want
   

1. It is ok to feel a bit sad about not having it - nothing wrong with being a bit sad for a few moments or even an evening.
   

Good luck. I was out at a fundraiser last night (dinner and auction) and I drank water. It was still great fun and I know that if I had one glass of wine (which is what everyone drinking at the table had), I'd not have been satisfied - would have wanted more.

[RainyBow]

I am planning my evening now which will finish with an early night. I am enjoying a lot of those this week.

[RainyBow]

Melborne thank you. We cross posted.

That is a really good list. I need to get more fizzy drinks in. I have already accepted that I am going to be eating a lot more than I previously thought was ok. I can deal with that later.

I have a few evenings out planned in the next couple of weeks. One of them is a quiz night and they are one of the worst ways to drink. I always drink far too much as you take your own and then it goes on for such a long time. I will look forward to being sober for that one.

I need to have a think as well about my triggers. Today I had good news so wanted to celebrate the only way I know how!

Well done on making 12 days - I look forward to getting there too.

[CheesyNachos]

early nights are great.:) I am about to go to bed.

Glad the craving passed.

melborne congrats on a sober dinner and auction!

[CheesyNachos]

... actually I am going to take my own advice. Shower and hot chocolate then bed.

DH is on a marathon session of making sloe gin. I can't bear the smell in the kitchen. [shudder]

Have also stashed a Galaxy bar in my drawer.....

Night everyone.

[custardcreamdreams]

Well done melborne

You have the right idea RainyBow. I did put on a lot of weight at the start but it has evened out and I've lost half a stone again now I'm not constantly shovelling sugar down my throat to make up for wine.

Heading to bed myself in a mo. First day of half term and mine have done nothing but bicker and fight. In a foul mood from this morning that even a run didn't pick me up out of, maybe a night's sleep will do it. Funeral to go to tomorrow, yet another alcohol related death. Becoming far too common these days.

Night all!

[Lucy2610]

Any one interested in the app I use to count days, cash and calories saved can find it here

[CheesyNachos]

Morning everyone.

Hope your day goes as well as possible custard. I am so sorry about the funeral.

Rainy how are you?

Welcome Petra! Good to have you here. :)

I am okay. I was a bit grumpy last night- no real reason. Fleeting thoughts of sipping from DH's red wine but then thought it would be useless and pointless and once the thought had flit by felt okay.

Have a Sunday lunch this weekend which I am hosting. I asked DH last night if he could be responsible for pouring the drinks for our guests. I have no issue at all with serving alcohol or having people drinking in front of me, but actually pouring them is a step too far! One of our friends also does not drink and so I am going to be EXTREMELY self-indulgent and go to Waitrose to stock up on really fancy posh soft drinks for us. I am looking forward to that!

Bam how are you doing lovely?

to all.

[Petradreaming]

Lordy lord. I have a work do this evening. Normally the very thought would have me reaching for a beer but I am going to drive and I have advised them all that I leaving early due to family things. I'll survive it but I am not looking forward to it ????

[Lucy2610]

Get yourself a treat for afterwards Petra and is there something nice you can do tomorrow morning? Having those planned could make if feel less of an ordeal

[RainyBow]

Morning all, I have had a very busy two days - both would have been major drinking triggers previously. I am now a week on from my Sunday of shame and really glad that I made it.

How is everyone else managing this weekend?

Custard I am so sorry about the funeral.

[custardcreamdreams]

Thanks Cheesy and RainyBow . Was a relative but not a close one, or entirely unexpected tbh.

Fantastic RainyBow, well done!

How'd the work do go Petra? And the lunch today Cheesy?

Quiet enough weekend here. Started a kettlebells class yesterday and loved it even if I was totally crippled with every single muscle in my body hurting today! So enjoy the fact I can get up for a 9am exercise class on a Saturday now. Drinking days I would have been full of good intentions but never make it, 90% of weekends were a total write off and such a waste.

[CheesyNachos]

Morning everyone. :)

Kettleballs sounds intense!

Lunch was okay, thanks. Except I forgot to make gravy.

Generally all is okay but I am trying to juggle a work deadline and half term..... and DH has to go away again for work so am panicking a bit!

Hope everyone is fine and well.

[RainyBow]

Morning, glad you are doing well.

I have to say Kettleballs isn't how I'd spend a Saturday morning but it is great that you enjoyed it. I am more of a leisurely walk kind of person It is nice getting that level of predictability back in life though and be able to make plans.

I have stumbled across this article this morning. I know it is a mumsnet crime to link to the Daily Mail but I couldn't find the level of detail included anywhere else. It cheered me up too! Alcohol article

It is the beginning of half term today. We are enjoying the relaxing start but will need to plan for my evening. I normally use alcohol to separate day and night in the holidays.

[BamBam21]

Hi everyone!

Rainybow our schools just went back today. I am so enjoying the peace!

How did the surgery go fartemis?

Sorry about your bereavement custard. Kettlebells sound scary!

I haven't been able to post the last few days, but I am on day 6! DP turned 50 last Wednesday and said he wanted to make a fresh start, so we had a last drink on Tuesday. Friday and Saturday were hard (PMT doesn't help!) but I feel good today.

Hope everyone is well today.