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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DRY 9!!!!!

999 replies

CheesyNachos · 11/10/2015 20:39

The DRY 8 thread suddenly came to an end! 1000 messages before we knew it.

THis is the thread for those who are abstaining and who want to abstain from alcohol. :)

All are welcome.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8?

OP posts:
Seabiscotti · 12/12/2015 09:46

Morning!

dona, I never drink to get drunk. Socially, I drink due to low self esteem. I drink quickly to start, to make me fun and chatty. Then I am topping up to keep that feeling going. As a result I get drunk.

At home, I drink because I am bored, unhappy, stressed etc. Again that initial buzz perks me up.

Things are a little more complicated than that, but that is it in a nutshell.

For me, identifying the root causes means that I am better equipped to work on being af.

Do you know why you have the relationship you do with alcohol?

Wargghhhh · 12/12/2015 11:01

Morning all, hope you are ok. I am 14 days in and feeling good really. Interesting that your reasons to drink mirror mine Seabiscotti. I struggled a bit last night, went round to a friends for a 'spa' evening. Stuck to lemonade. The others were talking about a big night out next week which they hastily invited me to when they realised I'd been missed out - but I know it will involve LOTS of drinking and I just don't think I can go sober.

I have spent my whole life drinking to make myself feel less self conscious and socially anxious. I find it VERY difficult to go on nights out without drinking (I did when I was pregnant). But I've realised I can't just get drunk for the rest of my life to deal with social situations!

I'm worried that I'm going to lose friends though - a lot of my social circle drink. Saying that though, a lot of the time I force myself to go out when I'd rather be curled up in front of the telly or reading a book.

On a positive note, I had a good run this morning - normally Saturdays are hard due to drinking on Friday, but it was nice to run with a clear head!

donajimena · 12/12/2015 11:22

I don't drink with the intention of getting drunk but I enjoy the buzz. Unfortunately for me I have yet to learn where it stops being a buzz and turns into getting shitfaced! I seem to lack that understanding!

donajimena · 12/12/2015 11:27

At home it was definitely boredom! Being a lone parent is a bit of a slog as I couldn't even do an hours exercise in the evening. I felt as if I were on an electronic tag with a 7 - 7 curfew! I started drinking for something to do! Then the quantity went up and wine o clock became earlier as the children got older. What a slippery slope!

Wargghhhh · 12/12/2015 12:12

haha donajimena I'm exactly the same - 'yet to learn where it stops being a buzz and turns into getting shitfaced'. I seem to go from sober to shitfaced in a matter of seconds - at no point do I think 'hmm I'm a bit merry now, I think I'll slow down for a bit'

laughingatweather · 12/12/2015 13:40

So I managed a month and then went on a bender yesterday. Drank a disgusting amount and feel; I can only describe it as feeling dirty.

Feel so low now.

Seabiscotti · 12/12/2015 15:37

Sorry dona, I misinterpreted your earlier post. I thought maybe you drank to get drunk to blot something out.

It is also a very fine line for me between the buzz and oblivion.

Waargh, if you lose people because you are not drinking, are they really friends anyway. It also says far more about them than you. I would skip the night out, if you think it will be too difficult.

Seabiscotti · 12/12/2015 15:46

Sorry to hear that laughing. Do you know why?

donajimena · 12/12/2015 16:01

laughing you have The Fear look it up!

Right. Back on the horse!
No apology necessary sea!

donajimena · 12/12/2015 16:04

Warghhh - I'm sure I heard something about alternating drinks with soft drinks somewhere Hmm

laughingatweather · 12/12/2015 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Seabiscotti · 12/12/2015 16:32

Flowers laughing , it sounds like an awful situation to be in. You need to find another way to cope with your feelings, but I know this is easier to say than do.

I think for many of us on here, it will take more than one attempt to be af. I think this is my third since joining. Be kind to yourself today and start afresh.

laughingatweather · 12/12/2015 16:42

Thanks for the flowers sea x

wickedfairy · 12/12/2015 20:06

Hi all,

Have been lurking for a while, after initially saying hello! I must say you ladies are all very inspirational and supportive! I wasn't planning on starting until January but I haven't had a drink for four nights now. I know it isn't very long, but it is a start.

I usually drink 1-1.5 bottles of wine most evenings, not all. I realise that's a massive amount and I need to stop. It's wine, I am so greedy with it - even when I've had enough, I just want more. Spirits, I can have a couple and that's ok.. I will drink at Christmas and new year, but plan to cut right down and then hopefully more in January. I hope that's ok to say here now, the festive season makes a hard job even harder really...

I have a question please: this will be my fourth night off. I am still waking up feeling slightly fuzzy headed after a vaguely sweaty-ish nights sleep. I assume that is the buildup of alcohol getting out if my system? I am looking forward to the good nights flee and waking up with a clear head. I realise it's probably an open ended question, but how long does that usually take?

Thanks for your support X

wickedfairy · 12/12/2015 20:07

*flee = sleep! Apologies...

Seabiscotti · 12/12/2015 22:49

Hi wicked, for most of us it has taken a few weeks. The body isn't going to recover from long term abuse overnight.

I would recommend getting a copy of Allen Carrs Easy Way to Control Alcohol. He says to continue drinking while reading the book. Maybe start reading it over the Christmas and New Year period.

Marryoneorbecomeone · 13/12/2015 22:14

Good evening everyone. laughing I know that feeling of dirty. It's horrid but it passes.

I had my girly weekend and I stuck to tea. It felt weird, and I really fancied some but I knew it just wasn't worth it, and instead I had a lot of good sleep.
I've been to two AA meetings now, I'm still not sure if it's for me - it probably is- but I'm only doing one day at a time.

Original poster
CheesyNachos · 14/12/2015 07:21

Hi everyone.

Fell off thread. And fell off wagon too.Blush

Today I am not drinking. Atually, we have a funeral to go to and so I will be driving which is good as it was DH's friend and he is a bit emotional about it and will very much value having a glass of wine.

Hope everyone has a good day.

OP posts:
Seabiscotti · 14/12/2015 11:36

Well done marry.

Sad Cheesy Flowers

donajimena · 14/12/2015 12:15

Another fallen one here. Nothing spectacular. I went out in the evening but in the day I had a massive row with OH.
I didn't get 'drunk' and nor did or do I have any urge to go back to my wine habit but I am disappointed in myself.
It was my second night out in my 'dry' phase and I just went for it (a little bit) Sad

laughingatweather · 14/12/2015 12:27

Sounds like lots of us have fallen!. I feel awful, terrible anxiety which has persisted for far longer than a hangover should last.

I think part of is that I was obviously pissed while around people that weren't and think there may be worried whispers about me. Also anxious I'll never crack this AF lark because after good progress I went straight back to drinking like a fish.

TeapotDictator · 14/12/2015 14:50

laughing - going straight back to drinking "like a fish" will probably HELP you in your AF journey. Every time it happens it becomes harder to ignore the bare facts of your relationship with alcohol.

Flowers to all who've slipped. I can't remember the right phrase, but it's something like the only bad thing to do afterwards is to give up. Every slip will teach you something. If you fall, get back up again, and to keep trying means you're still facing in the right direction...

I had my DTs birthday party yesterday. Really enjoyed it sober - and also sugar free. Made two massive cakes and didn't even touch a drop of cake mix (previously unheard of and would have lead to me ODing on anything and everything).

Keep going everyone. It is worth it.

gladistopped · 14/12/2015 16:26

Flowers and Brew to all

Marryoneorbecomeone · 14/12/2015 20:21

Good evening. I am GASPING for a drink.

Have had huge row with my mother. It was her fault, she shot her mouth off about something that she had no business to meddle in and instead of my ignoring it, I called her on it. Massive shouting match, the lot. This was yesterday evening, and I was just astonished. And terribly upset.
I lost my shizzle this morning with the kids, and felt so bad that I went to the docs and got Prozac. I think that's been coming a while but this morning was the final straw I suppose.

So for the first time in 10 days I'm massively tempted.

All we have in is Champagne (the emergency present).

Up till this point I just haven't wanted to, but today God help me I do!

Seabiscotti · 14/12/2015 20:38

marry, can you go and run yourself a nice bath or have a shower to relax and let the craving pass.

You have had a shit day. Get an early night if possible.