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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

is anyone awake? I don't know what to do I'm in utter shock and cant stop crying...

348 replies

Rainbowlou1 · 05/10/2015 01:39

I feel so sick, I was going to name change but what's the point? he has screwed me over no matter who I am...and i feel so stupid as i have been on here talking about us starting our new life away together..
Our marriage has become quite strained over the last few weeks-both to blame really and work etc getting in the way. We talked and agreed we would make this work and we both missed what we had before..
He then went to a friend's wedding (I couldn't get out of work so couldn't go) but when he got back I had a real niggly feeling that he was hiding something from me, for the first time in 10 years I checked his phone when he was in the shower and there were a couple of messages between him and a girl he met at this wedding-a bit flirty and a bit upsetting and we had s blazing row about him stepping over the line giving and taking a number...he swore nothing happened and it was banter etc. I wasnt happy but I wanted to try and make this work.
He then a few days later went away on a previously booked trip for 5 days (an annual event) I was very tearful as I didn't feel we were quite sorted and he insisted we would be ok.
Contact while he was away was a bit intermittent but he called to speak to the kids and was ok with me, said he loved me and missed me etc..
today his phone was unavailable and he text to say it had been playing up loads but seemed ok now it was reset.. I went to bed feeling ok, he is back tomorrow and we can have a proper chat and get our selves back on track..
Anyway tonight i go to set my alarm and i have a picture message of this girl from the wedding waving at the mirror in a dressing gown with the caption...different day, different hotel room (she was working abroad for 3 weeks after the wedding i gathered from their texts) he had replied 'i like your wave but would like even better to be inside that gown'
How i got those messages i don't know... he isn't answering his phone and isn't back until tomorrow evening.
I feel sick to my stomach....how the fuck can i face work tomorrow let alone the kids who are so excited about him coming home...

OP posts:
HolgerDanske · 05/10/2015 16:01

Ugh, mistakes in there. Hopefully it's clear enough...

Friendlystories · 05/10/2015 16:11

Hi Rainbow, I think in these circumstances you have to prioritise your own feelings, if you don't feel you can cope with him coming tonight it might be better to tell DS he's been delayed at work. Yes he will be disappointed but getting yourself to a stronger place before you have to deal with DH is probably more sensible atm. Hope you're ok, congrats on the new opportunity at work btw Flowers

APlaceOnTheCouch · 05/10/2015 16:17

If you decide to ask your DH to stay away tonight then I think it's probably easier to tell your DS that your DH is working. You haven't had a chance to talk as adults about this yet so allowing your DH to 'visit' seems a bit premature.

Also, until you do have the chance to talk as adults, you don't know whether your DH will try to use the DCs to manipulate you into accepting his behaviour or/and letting him stay tonight.

However, you absolutely have to do what feels best for you and if you're struggling to decide then think about what you would advise a trusted friend to do in this situation Flowers

MairyHoles · 05/10/2015 16:17

Hi I'm really sorry about what your husband has done, you have proven yourself to be strong and level headed. You have been given great advice about this and I can't add to this.

Re the message, my step dad sent a message to me, my mum and his ex wife concerning my step brother a couple of months ago, I think it was letting us know he had been nominated for an award at work. My mum and I rarely reply, we would just call later, but a reply came back from his ex wife to both my phone and my mums. It was bizarre, I don't know her number and only see her occasionally. My step dad says he doesn't know what he did but he appears to have started a group text where we can't see we are part of the group! This isn't messenger or whatsapp, just looks like a bog standard text message. It's strange that you received the picture of her and then his reply, do you think that she perhaps started this type of text message so you could see your husbands reply? Not that it makes any difference to the outcome, I'm glad you found out, I just wonder whether you finding out was accidental or not so accidental.

I hope you manage to say your piece tonight and he respects you enough to let you make your mind up what you want to do. Good luck

Rainbowlou1 · 05/10/2015 16:49

Ok I've done it...I have texted him to say I won't be seeing him tonight...no reason or justification just straight to the point..
I didn't want to risk him thinking he could decide not to come and tell me he wouldn't be coming-childish I know but I had to get in there first and keep control.

OP posts:
WildStallions · 05/10/2015 16:53

Well done!

Asteria36 · 05/10/2015 17:00

Good! I really think the space for you and the shock for him will help this situation pan out in a far healthier way than if you had welcomed him home tonight.

purplefizz26 · 05/10/2015 17:01

Hope you're ok OP Thanks

Rainbowlou1 · 05/10/2015 17:06

I want to go home and curl up with a bottle of wine but I don't think that will help my need to cry!!I've gone Numb x

OP posts:
Friendlystories · 05/10/2015 17:19

I think feeling numb is a normal reaction at this stage, you will have been running on adrenaline from the stress and shock up till now just trying to get through the day. Now you have some downtime you can start to process what's happened, feeling numb is probably a good thing as you can think about things rationally rather than letting emotion take over. How did your DS take the news his dad isn't coming back tonight? Hope you're both ok Flowers

Yarboosucks · 05/10/2015 17:29

If I were him, I would go home regardless of the text… So stay sober and think about how you will handle that if he turns up.

I am in awe that you went to work BTW and congrats on the training.

donajimena · 05/10/2015 17:54

Well done you. I think it was the right thing to do. I remember my ex standing me up for a talk. I wish I had got in there first!

If it helps (though it might not to be what you want to hear at the moment) we didn't make it through this but I am extremely happy now with someone else.

Rainbowlou1 · 05/10/2015 18:09

Yarboosucks I don't think he cares enough to do that!x

OP posts:
Dowser · 05/10/2015 18:14

Haven't had time to read all since my last posting but before I read your update the phrase that ran through my head was

Short term pain ...long term gain.

Your son will get over it and the frosty reception you are giving your husband will certainly be giving him time to think things over ( stew in his own juice)

You are one powerful lady. You've kept your power.

Rainbowlou1 · 05/10/2015 18:20

Ok so now he knows I'm not begging he is saying he wants to sort this and so I replied 'then man up and do the fucking hard work yourself because I'm not being treated like a cunt by anyone'...excuse the language!
I'm shaking but I needed to do that.
My son has made his daddy a welcome home card and keeps looking out the window so in a minute I will break his heart but I need to put myself first for once while I decide where this mess goes now x

OP posts:
Rainbowlou1 · 05/10/2015 18:21

I wish I had friends in real life like you all...this has made me realise how lonely I now am without the security of my little family and my best friend and how few people I have to lean on x

OP posts:
Twowrongsdontmakearight · 05/10/2015 18:26

I think leavemywings post is spot on. A similar thing happened to a friend. I would have said that they had one of the most solid relationships of all of us yet her DP had a fling.

My friend was obviously devastated but believed, as do I, that it shouldn't necessarily override all the wonderful times that they had had together.

They went to couples counselling because my friend wanted to be sure that DH was staying because he wanted her, not just for the DC.

Some 10 years later it is all well behind them. My DH spoke to him about it a few years later and the DP couldn't believe that he'd nearly thrown everything away for mid life crisis.

So, OP, in your shoes I'd have a long hard think. Does this cancel out all the good times and demolish the relationship you have built. And you need to listen to him and find out whether it was a bit of excitement that someone had shown interest, or is it more than that?

If you really feel that you could never trust him again, then throw him out. But if actually he's worth fighting for see if you can rebuild.

Fingers crossed for you either way. X

Rainbowlou1 · 05/10/2015 18:26

Dowser I have never considered myself to be strong...in fact I'm usually the complete opposite x

OP posts:
Mom2K · 05/10/2015 18:28

Well done on taking the space you need. Hopefully he will respect that and not show up on your door anyway - and actually take the time to realize that what he did is appalling, and had nothing to do with the state of your marriage. This behaviour was his choice. Everyone has ups and downs in their marriage - not everyone immediately runs out and finds interest elsewhere.

It is completely up to you if you want to give the marriage another shot or end it here. But I think to give him a shot, he needs to admit to being completely in the wrong, without any excuses. It's really awful for him to try and blame the state of the marriage. In saying this, he's justifying the behaviour, which does not show true remorse or understanding of what he did. It's going to take some major work to repair the damage he has just done...and it has to come from him. No excuses, no hints about throwing in the towel when things get a little tough. If he doesn't man up and do this I don't think the marriage is salvageable because he's not really in it to begin with - no matter how much you may be willing to work on it/go through counselling together etc. He has to prove he's remorseful and 100% committed to you and regaining your trust.

Flowers
hellsbellsmelons · 05/10/2015 18:30

Where are your family and friends?
How long ago did you move away?

At times like these it is the RL support that helps you through.
Could you go back this weekend and spend some time with people who want to help, love and support you right now?

Allofaflumble · 05/10/2015 18:31

You are amazing! X

Angleshades · 05/10/2015 18:32

Rainbow you sound so strong. Well done for telling him where to go. You're absolutely right, you do need to put yourself first for once. Especially in a situation like this.

Keep posting, don't feel lonely. There's always someone on here to chat with. I'm going through a break up myself and know what you mean by not having a huge circle of friends. That is something you can change though if you decide to leave your husband. You'll then have time to create a social circle that will help you through the bad times ahead.

Your husband is not your best friend if this is how he treats you. Time for a change maybe.

marzipan123 · 05/10/2015 18:32

Rainbowlou1 - what a turbulent time you are having. Lots of posts with different messages. It's your life and your journey.

I hope you and your husband work it out.

I am somewhat older than and I think you will find that the posters who share my views are also older and have been round the block a few times.

A few observations I would make.

When a marriage goes wrong and something like an affair happens. It is a symptom that things need looking at, discussing, working at. A stitch in time and all that. Just because one person had the affair, does not make it all their fault. Relationships get to a dodgy place with two people it. They have stopped meeting each other's needs.

I can tell you when I was younger, I was in the same position as you. I did what some of the younger posters are urging you to do. Told him to push off. He did. That was twenty five years ago. Not a single day has gone by when I have not regretted that decision. I have had two relationships since, but they did not compare and I ended them. My first husband was the father of my son, he was my family, my first love and I still miss him. Fortunately over the years, although he is happily remarried, we have found a shared friendship and meet with our sons family for Christmasses, birthdays, etc. it took a very long time to get to that stage, but it means a lot to me that we can be friends now. He made a mistake, but he had and has so many good qualities I have never found again. I wish I had been more forgiving and accepted my role in the marriage problems rather than laying the blame entirely at his door.

Another thing I have noticed is that the grass ain't greener. Ok, he made a mistake. You kick him out. Then where are you? I am not sure life is all that wonderful for mothers on their own with children. Financially it is tough, it is lonely and can be bleak. Prince Charmings don't come calling often.

Take your time. Don't act in haste. X

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 05/10/2015 18:36

Sorry. I've obviously taken far too long and have cross posted with lots of people!

Can I add that you could probably do with talking to a friend in RL but pick someone discrete and don't tell the world just yet. If you do decide to make a go of things then it's easier if the whole world doesn't know.

Rainbowlou1 · 05/10/2015 18:42

We haven't moved yet...we have been planning to do it next year.
I just don't really have close friends to have round and share these things with-I don't really know why?I've always been a bit like that and I guess up until now been living in my happy little bubble.
I'm not ready to talk to family they are pretty intense and will turn it into question time to satisfy their own nosiness!
I may chat with my boss at work tomorrow who will be discreet and will understand if I need a breather.

OP posts: