Total shock

[Iseeall]

Just found evidence of the other woman. In total shock. Been together 25 years,k new something was wrong but still its a shock.
His business takes him away sometimes and he has just returned, I found her boarding card in his man bag as i was tidying up.
Shall I facebook her a message asking if she had a lovely holiday and enjoys breaking up a family.
help me.

Dropping off d c
Stupid spell checker

I second Stoic's suggestion.

I would want him out asap.

its going to be ok you know x
its all dreadfull and fucked up at the minute and it doesnt feel like you can cope with all this hurt but you can,you will be stronger than you think and although it takes time and getting used to these things have a way of turning your life around in a positive note x
Ive posted on here so many times over the years about my relationship and received such fab advice (that i foolishly didnt take) and a few years ago i actually thought my life was over.
its notx

So he's leaving clear evidence. What a cunt.

You do know this is All Your Fault? You are too much/not enough - fill in the blanks. He is ANGRY you have forced him to do this. Poor poor diddums he is.

Don't give him the drama he is expecting. Take the advice of pp's who have recently gone through this [end of previous page - can't see from here]. What a sad sack he is. The putrid pair deserve one another.

Hold up, darling. You don't deserve one bit of this

Stoic and others I do understand about getting him out part of me wanted to bash him over the head and throw him out last night. Especially when he was sleeping and I couldn't.
How ever we run a small business from home and and he will need to relocate it. Land line web po box etc
In the short term I'm thinking he could go and just dial into voicemail for his business calls, I don't think he would leave me to it.

we run a small business from home and and he will need to relocate it. Land line web po box etc
is that your problem?
who has the most to lose if the business doesnt do well
which of you has the greatest vested interest?

Sorry, this is just SO hard. While you are biding your time, try to remember to: 1 eat, 2 drink plenty of fluids, 3 breathe. Also, go outside and walk (as that helps with clearer thinking) In other words, look after yourself as you are going to need all the strength you can muster.

Yes it's predominantly his. As I said before, it's super niche and the business is effectively him.
I won't be doing him any favours but i will want my fair share for what it's worth. (Very little)

He's a business partner
There are no friends in business
Be ruthless ?

the business is effectively him
make sure it goes belly up then

Why advise her to fuck up the business? She will need him to be working in order to pay her maintenance. Fucking up his means of earning would be foolish.

Is he going out today?
Pack his bags, have them in the hall and tell him to get out.

Don't worry about how difficult this makes things for him just look after number 1.

I'm definitely not going to do the pick me dance.
He will be gone soon. I'm thinking a lot clearer today.
I can't see any way back from this.
A major breech of trust.
I've never had to check phones or receipts or keep tabs on him. I can't go forward living like that.

We have one car. Keys are usually left where whoever is off out just picks them up.
Today I've got the keys in my bag. If he wants to go somewhere he'll have to ask for the keys and say where he's going

Op while his business at home make sure you get copies of all assets and everything so he can't start hiding things to screw you over later.

OP. If you are going to wait it out, I would turn his 'find my phone' app on his phone on. You will then have an indisputable record of his visits to her house.

I don't know if I would make him explain his movements and need for car keys. You seem really strong and so I would just let h keep fucking digging.

It will not be easy to follow through once you start to consider the enormity of how your life will change (ultimately for the better but hard to see the light for a while). The. Ore concrete evidence you have of his Cuntishness, the easier it will be.

Let him dig his grave OP

You are amazingly strong. I can't believe he came to your bed last night - and found it easy to go to sleep. He has no heart.

Just keep going - you are amazing. I only wish I had your strength. The other posters are right, don't let him see you upset. Being in control will really rattle him.

Keep the car keys.

Keep the keys close and please note down everything he is doing. He will either confess, or try to twist everything so you are the bad person in this. Don't give him any kind of advantage over you.

As far as the business, house and the logistics of it are concerned get some advice from CAB and see a solicitor (as far as I know you can get a free half hour? Although I am unsure).

Whatever happens, keep going and take care of yourself.

I really like cherry bake wells idea. Just put the boarding cards condoms and receipt on a table and see what he says.
Don't know if I could do it though. But it's food for thought
Am reading all replies and taking it all on board.
Thanks for all the advise so far

The business: is he a sole trader or is it a partnership with you? I suspect it's a partnership if you're a signatory.

Please, PLEASE get hold of all the documentation and get them somewhere safe.

Smug fuckers like your husband think they are oh, so very clever. But you need to be much cleverer than him. If he's actually planning to leave you then he's had much more time to prepare for his exit. Considering how recently this may have started I doubt he's done that much planning. Other than buying condoms before the flight, that is.

Keep your powder dry and make sure you can get your hands on whatever cash and other assets there are. DO NOT let him walk off into the sunset with your share of the money. Transferring half into a bank account that has only your signature should be the first hint to him that you know.