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Total shock

862 replies

Iseeall · 26/09/2015 13:28

Just found evidence of the other woman. In total shock. Been together 25 years,k new something was wrong but still its a shock.
His business takes him away sometimes and he has just returned, I found her boarding card in his man bag as i was tidying up.
Shall I facebook her a message asking if she had a lovely holiday and enjoys breaking up a family.
help me.

OP posts:
Iseeall · 28/09/2015 15:00

Cherry. You just made me snort

Thanks

OP posts:
imjustahead · 28/09/2015 15:00

totally baffled by your last sentence there op! Noone cares anyway x

imjustahead · 28/09/2015 15:01

individual trifle

HA!

HellKitty · 28/09/2015 15:03

Did he tell you she hadn't had sex since then? What a cock.

BloodontheTracks · 28/09/2015 15:04

Ugh. Sounds like someone who cannot BEAR being out of control and not having all the information. that's what he's been depriving you of for years. If I were you I would withold all that forever and leave. That is his nightmare. He is desperate to regain control and he can only do that if you tell him what you know and he can manipulate the facts.

I suspect he suspects OW has been in touch with you. In which case he's terrified you know WAY more and is trying to flush that out.

You know you can't be with him anymore from what you're saying. Why not just give him his own medicine, withheld information.

You owe him?! Please. He owes you! a truthful explanation, a grovelling apology and years and years of your life back. And not one forthcoming.

tribpot · 28/09/2015 15:04

If anyone cares ow hasn't had sex since April.

Given his keen desire for evidence I assume he has some for this statement. As if it could possibly matter!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 28/09/2015 15:06

The suggestion that one of the DCs knows about this would explain his desperation to know who the "informant" was - I confess I'd wondered about that

If it's so, then what you've got there is at least one DC who's traumatized by not knowing what to say, all the time having to watch this car crash played out in front of them. Reason enough, surely, to bring the whole thing to a close as soon as you can?

Iseeall · 28/09/2015 15:07

Yes my comment was about the individual trifle.

Yes he told me about ow sex life.
Apparently she's so glam,sexy and fabulous men hit on her the whole time. And she picked him.

OP posts:
HellKitty · 28/09/2015 15:09

Yes he told me about ow sex life.
Apparently she's so glam,sexy and fabulous men hit on her the whole time. And she picked him.

But didn't have sex with him!
Maybe his being quite a catch terrified her Wink

suzannecaravan · 28/09/2015 15:09

why would he be privy to the details of this woman's sex life, telling you that just digs a deeper hole for himself.

I'm also wondering why he confessed to a previous affair?
Does he think it adds weight to his 'you made me do it because you're boring and frumpy defense'
ie not only did you 'make' me have this affair you also 'made' me have a previous affairConfused

BloodontheTracks · 28/09/2015 15:10

oh blimey what a mega-tool.

I can understand how the drivel is comforting, at its heart it shows he is afraid of losing you so minimising and lying like crazy. But it sounds like he's probably been unfaithful a lot. It sounds like it's his character, from the past OW, the discovery rather than confession and also the immediate, patronisingly shit lying / excuses.
I'm so sorry. What do you want to do?

suzannecaravan · 28/09/2015 15:11

she's so glam,sexy and fabulous men hit on her the whole time. And she picked him

or he might be just one member of her harem?

BeachysFlipFlops · 28/09/2015 15:16

Has he said, at any stage, that he is going?

SlightlyJaded · 28/09/2015 15:22

I realise this is neither here nor there in thread scheme of things

But

You come across as really articulate, wise and emotionally intelligent. He sounds stupider every time you write.

He left shitloads of evidence that he apparently DIDN'T what you to find
He then denied cheating whilst in the same breath demanded to know who gave him up
He continued to deny but randomly confesses to a previous affair
He fails to show any signs of remorse that MIGHT have swayed a little in his favour
He insists they haven't had sex but then reveals an intimate knowledge of OW's sex life.

Aside from being a cheater and a cunt, the man's an arse.

You will have the last laugh OP. I guarantee it.

hellsbellsmelons · 28/09/2015 15:27

Well if she did actually pick him, and she is so fabulous he can't believe his luck, why is he still there going round in circles with you?
Surely at the first sign of an excuse to exit and spend the rest of his life with her, he would be off and running!? Nooooo!???
I'm confused now.

God he's a knob of the highest order!

goddessofsmallthings · 28/09/2015 15:30

He tried to put all the blame on me.
How he's wonderful handsome fun etc and I'm a frumpy drudge, you get the drift.
Totally unbelievable.
Confessed about one before this, that I had suspicions about first of all.
You couldn't make it up.

He actually used the line
'She wanted to get to know me better

What to expect now.

Expect more of the same as he attempts to justify himself while denying that he alone is responsible for his despicable behaviour.

He's absolutely terrified of you having the upper hand, and he's shit scared of being made the laughing stock he will become once the news gets out - leaf through your address book while musing out loud as to who to needs to know that your marriage is over because of his affair(s).

Silence is golden; let him do the talking as you listen with an amused smile on your face when it suits you to do so, and shut him up with a 'save it for your solicitor' when it doesn't.

You not only have the advantage; you've effectively won hands down and he knows it, which is why he'll come up with even more ludicrous explanations for his conduct before resorting to tears and pleading.

Book yourself an appointment at the hairdressers and invest in a professional make up session to ram home the fact that your discovery has given you a new lease of life and you can't wait to embrace a future without him in it. Grin

suzannecaravan · 28/09/2015 15:31

I realise this is neither here nor there in thread scheme of things

on the contrary I think you have summed it up pretty well there SlightlyJaded

Iseeall · 28/09/2015 15:31

He has insight into ow sex life because he is mr sensitive new man.
And I a cold hearted bitch because I'm not crying.

Yes I really have heard it all today.

We're still silent I'm sure there is more to come.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 28/09/2015 15:32

If I could point out - the fact that he didn't use the condoms doesn't mean that he didn't have sex with her.

Cherrybakewells1 · 28/09/2015 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AcrossthePond55 · 28/09/2015 15:33

Good God, he's spinning so many plates (lies) in the air he can't keep track of them all, can he?

Silence is best. Let him bury himself. All I'd say is 'I know what I know, it doesn't matter how I found out. I know".

Have you made that solicitor's appointment yet?

BloodontheTracks · 28/09/2015 15:34

good god the amount of projection going on here. Cold hearted bitch!? I've heard it all. Let him fill the silence that terrifies him with insults about himself.

hellsbellsmelons · 28/09/2015 15:34

Is he crying?
After all, he is the one who broke all the wedding vows and has thrown away his marriage and lovely wife???
Bet he isn't crying.
TWAT!!!

BloodontheTracks · 28/09/2015 15:35

In seriousness, get out of that house, even just for the day and around people who can support you emotionally and legally.

Cherrybakewells1 · 28/09/2015 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.