Total shock

[Iseeall]

Just found evidence of the other woman. In total shock. Been together 25 years,k new something was wrong but still its a shock.
His business takes him away sometimes and he has just returned, I found her boarding card in his man bag as i was tidying up.
Shall I facebook her a message asking if she had a lovely holiday and enjoys breaking up a family.
help me.

agree with a poster above. he doesn't want you to tell anyone.
he doesn't want anyone to know as he will be shown up.
i would be shouting from the rooftops about his affair. i would blab to everyone. tell your family.

Has he done it before?

Cozie. You couldn't make this up.

I think by confessing about one before I might be distracted from the current ow. I don't know.

He is throwing you a morsel of truth in the hope it will shut you up?
You need some space now I think. And call a friend or relative

Oh sorry, am getting behind and missed that he has now confessed.

She wanted to get to know him better? Oh well that's ok then. Well, now she can, but she will only discover what a nasty piece of work he really is.

And he's blaming you for the things he's done? Nice. I'd be loathe to have any more conversations with this hideous person.

I've had suspicions before. But this weekend is his 'finest hour '

Ugh. Will be putting house up for sale asap

maybe he has done it before but that's just muddying the waters.
i would concentrate on what's in front of you at the moment.

he's lying as it is so he's probably not going to confess to previous affairs, if they have happened.

...How he's wonderful handsome fun etc and I'm a frumpy drudge...

(I guess your next MN user name is already putting on its party frock then. )

I would say don't engage any further with him. He is not going to be truthful, he's clearly shown that.

Get RL support over to you, and start making plans as to what you want to do from here on in.

Well it's all coming out now.

Keep doing what you are doing as it seems to be working.

He sounds a less than pleasant person tbh.

I'd rather let him do his own books and get a job for myself and a nice place of my own that waste the rest of my life with a serial cheater who blames me for his infidelity.

He's a burden not a gift - recycle him to the OW and get a better life.

Please let him think that there's is still a mystery informer? That'll drive him paranoid and potty.

Oh, and get tested. Sorry. Needs to be said. Just because he has condoms this time, that doesn't mean he has always used them.

I agree he's muddying the waters now.
We are in silent mode at the moment.
I'm sure there is more to come

he's trying to winkle information out of you now.
i really would stonewall him at this stage.
i would be on the phone to trusted ones by now as this needs to be brought to their attention.
otherwise he may get in there first and you will be made to look like the bad guy.
he's lying to you - his wife - therefore he will lie to others.

Iseeall you are a champion!!!

Good grief OP.
I know you were in shock previously but now more revelations.
I hope you are looking after yourself here!
No solid foods (I couldn't keep much down). Soup, ice lollies, ice cream. Stuff you don't have to chew will work for now. Multi vitamins if you really can't eat anything.

Get some RL support now.
Don't keep his dirty little secretS!!! (that was my biggest regret by far)

If he won't move out then you live separate lives.
He does his own washing, cooking, cleaning, ironing, shopping etc....

Get yourself to a solicitor tomorrow and see where you stand with regards to finances, assets, etc.....

For now though, just keep away from him. Let him stew away.
Ignore ignore ignore. It will drive him batty!

You are doing really well at the moment but you will crash down at some point. Be ready. Get support around you.

www.bachflower.com/rescue-remedy-information/

Bach 's Rescue Remedy as an alternative to paracetamol

Iseeall I am admiring you enormously from afar .....

agree with above. you're playing into his hands by staying silent and not telling anyone. that's helping him and he's hoping he can turn things around before you tell people.
secrecy is the adulterer's greatest weapon.

We're here for you. So sorry you're going through this. Stay strong, time to collapse is once his lying script following minimising arse is out the door. Remember you did nothing to deserve this. It's all him.

Also, you may find she doesn't want him now. Secret gigs and trips are exciting and forbidden, but I doubt she fancies everyone finding out and on top of that washing his manky pants

Do you think it's possible that the OW has played him and planted all the evidence for you to find?

I'd say this is completely irrelevant though. The fact that there is an OW is the problem, not specifically who left the evidence for the OP to find.

Load of crap from him! If you're so frumpy and he's so great - why didn't he just Leave?? Because in some way, he needs you. You are the strong one. He is the needy spoiled one.

Remember that. He stayed with you because he isn't strong enough to leave. You are going to show him now how strong you are - and like he's known all along, it's a lot stronger than him.

He doesn't deserve you.

I think right about now I'd be fucking delighted to be getting rid of ths absolute knob of a man! Start humming a merry tune to yourself as you go about your business - the business of a lovely, new, fresh start without this awful excuse for a husband.