Total shock

[Iseeall]

Just found evidence of the other woman. In total shock. Been together 25 years,k new something was wrong but still its a shock.
His business takes him away sometimes and he has just returned, I found her boarding card in his man bag as i was tidying up.
Shall I facebook her a message asking if she had a lovely holiday and enjoys breaking up a family.
help me.

Ah so you've found out he's having an affair and he's not upset he's hurt and upset you, more focused in goading you to find out your source so he can protect himself and her!

Tells you all you need to know about how little he's considering you in this.

It takes a certain type to have and affair in the first place, but to not be devastated and ashamed at the hurt they've caused you as their first reaction to you finding out really does put the nail in the coffin.

Tell a friend or family and ask them to come over and be with you. You can explain that he is being vile and irrational. That gives you backup, support. And a witness. And it also tells him you are serious as others now know.

I'm nt sure why you're not telling him how you know now. Though I would also throw in a few "dummy" sources as well. I said to my exDP when I confronted him something like "She needs to tighten up her social media security settings", implying I'd seen it on FB or whatever

Let's face it op, you already knew something was up so the long and the short of it is that your gut instinct told you

Just caught up with all the posts. Have to read phone and post in the bathroom.
He's naming every female we've ever known and saying 'is it her'.
I'm staying calm as I can.
He is in a silent phase at the moment.
He has also thrown in a few jibes about who my informant was.

so he thinks there is an informant?
you could imply that there was and send him on a wild goose chase?

...He has also thrown in a few jibes about who my informant was...

So he doesn't believe he could have made mistakes? You have to have been actually told by someone?

Don't bother trying to keep a straight face - laugh in his face as you tell him that you have irrefutable proof he's having an affair and you'll be handing it to a solicitor with a view to divorcing him for adultery and naming the ow as co-respondent.

And then make it clear to him that you don't intend to engage in any further discussion as he's obviously not prepared to admit to what will soon become common knowledge once word gets round of his extra-marital activities.

Other than dealing with the lying twunt, what's on your agenda for today? Can you take yourself off out in the car for a leisurely lunch or a spot of retail therapy?

OP I would make sure your evidence is where he cannot access it and detach. He is going to keep at you until you tell him to back off. You are not required to tell him anything. He wants to know so he can figure out his "story" and make excuses.

Get someone to come over and be your buffer. You need to tell someone and make this real. They can then support you. Do not keep his dirty little secret. And do not let him bully you.

Keep your cool and don't lower yourself to play games. You don't have to negotiate with him. Tell him to back off and leave you alone. If he keeps at you, either ring someone to come over or calmly leave and go visit someone who will be supportive.

wowsers - just read your most recent post OP.

do you realise the power you have now?

you have him by the short and curlies.
please DO NOT tell him how you know.
its time to confide in those you trust. i would do so immediately. get someone or preferably at least 2 people to come over but do not tell him they're coming until the doorbell rings. that will probably flush him out of the house and give you some peace in your own home.

Just say "boarding pass. Condom recept. Sat nav."

I'm not sure why you're not telling him now.

I bet he's texting OW to tell her you know and to see if she knows who the informant is. I bet they are arguing over it and stressing out!

sorry but i have to disagree with the post above.
do not tell him anything. if you do, you are helping him.

Why waste the breath?

He's emotionally abusive and is badgering her to tell. Best response is no response!

He doesn't realise that HE'S the informant!

I'm fairly sure that any innocent man who loves his wife, would not react like this if accused of having an affair.

Resist the temptation to spit the ow's name in his face as it's obviously winding him up beyond measure that you haven't disclosed it to him.

He's a buffoon who's terrified of his legovers with the ow coming to the attention of others who will no doubt fall about laughing at the thought of him being an ageing lothario who can't keep his trousers on.

Laughter will puncture his over-inflated ego... regard him with detached amusement interspersed with occasional sniggers, chuckles, and loud guffaws, and tell him that the local community will no doubt derive so much enjoyment out of his and the ow's antics that they'll be regarded as a comedy turn. He'll hate that thought - be prepared to see smoke coming out of his ears.

I'm not showing my evidence because as others have said he will minimise it. And when I've revealed it,it's gone.
It's giving me comfort knowing what I have.
Earlier today I gave him the choice to be dropped at the station or a location of his choice.
Also I've laid out how I see him going.
Eg, he goes, has a week to change business phone address etc..
Then put house up for sale, whilst I remove him from all bill etc
This all went down like a bomb.

I'm loving your composure and resolve.

Ditto - it has taken the wind out of his sails.

I'd have posted a message to the OW on FB by now just saying 'I know'.

Mostly because I'd love to see them fighting amongst themselves as to how you found out. He will blame her, she will blame him... perfect.

Thats just me though and I do not suggest you do this just thats what I would do!