DP >500k in savings and I have nothing

[Noemie23]

Apologies if this is not in the right place but I feel like this is taking a toll on my relationship.

I'm 27 weeks pregnant. Just finished my first year of university and not entitled to maternity allowance as I have not been working long enough in the last year. I'm also not entitled to income support or job seekers allowance because my DP has more than 500k in savings.

What should I do?

He hates it when I ask him for money and I hate it too because I don't see his money as my money. I want my own money. I've been trying so hard to find a job in the last 3 months with no luck.

I feel like I should claim income support but claim as single. I'm stuck in the house all day with nothing to do and nowhere to go, I'm going mad.

It's Job Seeking help, not a freebie for the idle or imaginary partners of lottery winners. Read what I quoted. Read it on the website if you don't believe me. Are you suggesting that the website is incorrect and that you are correct?

For means tested jsa your partner's savings are taken into account. This is because if you are part of a couple you cannot submit a sole claim for means tested benefits.

It's all been said, but I'm chipping in anyway!

I think you should show him this thread. Does he understand that you are cut off from claiming benefits because the state expects that your financially well-off partner would naturally be supporting you? He begged you to keep the pregnancy, but does he not understand that high stress levels aren't good for you or the baby?

If you are broke, then stop being bothered about worrying people. Ask your parents/siblings for financial help. Tell them that you can't claim benefits and that your partner won't help you. Abuse is given oxygen by silence. He may be the loveliest person with backrubs and bunches of flowers galore, but if you're sitting in the house literally penniless while he has half a million in the bank, he is abusing you. He may as well throw all your shoes away so you're literally barefoot and pregnant. It's cruel. Reach out for help. If he's embarrassed, good. He should be. And if he is, it's because he knows he's in the wrong. You don't have a partner right now, and you need to address that before the baby arrives.

If he doesn't believe in marriage, or trust you, please don't give the child his surname.

Give your baby your name and save yourself a lot of hassle in the future. You will be in you child's life forever, but I'm really not convinced he will be around for very long. he certainly isn't showing himself in a good light as a partner and future father.

I think everything has already been said, but if you have access to any documents which detail his savings, make copies. I believe that this could be used by the CSA when it comes to calculating maintenance.

I'm so sorry op. I was in a situation with my ex where he had 50k in savings, but was held abroad so in the brief time he was in the Uk it couldn't be taken into account. Do it now, before he decides to shift it.

Anais, you are not an idiot.

Please seek RL legal and financial advice.

I think you are right to consider ALL options (including adoption), but whatever happens please think long and hard about the relationship you are in.

Speak to your uni/college, JobCentre, CBA, Women's Aid and yee, get copies of official documents such as bank statements if you can.

Whether this child will grow up with you or not, YOU need to protect your own future. Wishing you much strength