For those of you who do online dating, what tips do you have and what have you learned

[bodenbiscuit]

From experience?

What are the signs a man is actually going to be worth your time?

Do you think a decent man should want to go out for dinner? I am in two minds about this. If it's a distaster you don't want to be stuck for hours. OTOH I think if someone suggests dinner it shows that they are more willing to make an effort to spend time talking, not getting drunk and increasing their chances of getting laid!

I would say avoid men with shirtless photos. I had one guy message me that he had been sleeping with his best friend's girlfriend while the friend was on holiday - how to make a good impression!

Agree with don't get too drawn into long email/text exchanges before meeting. You end up building up a picture in your head that's probably wrong!

Also (and I am my own worst enemy for this) don't obsess about whether they are still online/talking to other people, while also worrying that if you go online then they will notice and think you're not interested... Etc etc. That way madness lies. Accept that they are probably talking to other people and it's ok for you to do that too, at least in the very early days.

yupp, Campervan, I@ve decided not to worry about that until it gets to the point where I would consider sleeping with sombeody and that is a long way off yet!!!

You lot are making me laugh with your stories. I did meet a creepy guy recently that just kept sending deeply emotional texts, declaring love ( we had met once) He finally drove over and hour to my local pub and sat there waiting for me to turn up, bloody weirdo. Told him id he did not leave me alone I would call the police. I have blocked him. But mostly my dates have been ok

Oh sharing weirdo date stories, yay!
Ok so I think my top weirdos:

• guy who's pic was so different I didn't recognise him at all...stayed for a drink out of politeness, left 10mins later when he came out with the lovely line, "so Im gonna go do a line cus I'm assuming im getting a BJ outta this yeah?"
• guy who lied about his profession, and living arrangements and every story started "so me and my mother...". Norman bates
• met a seemingly normal guy, talked about his job a lot, was very proud of being a policeman. However 3rd date was cancelled as had a call from his Sargent saying he has concession from a raid going wrong & was in a&e....i smell BS. Went on third as I can be cynical, so thought id give the benefit of doubt - his story stank of BS. did some digging....turns out he wasn't a policeman, actually worked in Asda,

Blimey!, that takes some beating!. All interesting comment i think I'm going the try OLD 'ere long as at my time of life I'm not that into night clubs and bars and the like. More classical concerts, art galleries, museums and intelligent conversation.

Still i remain as always eternally optimistic. And no, there is no one else, i have the certs from the court to say I'm a single and free man:-)

I've noticed on POF, you can do 'endorsements'! Kind of like trip advisor. I went out with one man who was great company but I've never seen him again, so would I write that!? "Great fun, not fat, looks like his photo, had a good night, haven't seen or heard from him again, 7 out of 10"

I had a thread on this very topic - search under this username if you want the full monty.

morecoffeethanhuman that sounds a nightmare!

I've just had a man message me (nice profile, seems like a nice guy) but he has no picture because in his position he couldn't risk having any of his staff see it. He'll email me a photo. what should I do? say yeh, gwan then.

But then he'd have my email address! is that a rookie mistake?

I reverse google some of their photos now, a lot of men will use the same shot for everything! LIke they have one good photo of themselves!

They weren't fun tbh!! But I know some lovely people who have met & married lovely people from online dating so I hold out hope I must just have terrible taste in men

I had a guy try to convince me to drive him home after out first (and only) online date. He lived 5 mins away. He justified it by saying he wasnt going to rape me.

No shirtless guys.
No alcohol in profile photo.
No sunglasses.
No group photo where i cant work out who he is.
No photos of a car.
If after a few measages ive doubts then thats the end of that.

No bare chests
No motorbikes/jet skis/sports cars
No fish
No golfing tournament pics with their mates
No 'down the pub' with their mates
No children

On meeting:
No slating the ex
No leering
Must have job
Must be solvent (I don't expect them to pay for a single thing but nor do I expect to fund them)
No derogatory remarks about previous dates
No heavy drinking
No drunk driving
No boring chatter
No talking just about themself all night

No fishing messages 'Hi' or 'well hello'. At least two sentences...
No asking me if I have Skype or video chat of any sort in the first couple of mails (or tbh at all)
Must be happy to meet quickly and not chat forever

Urbane. Open a new email account and use it exclusively for OLD

Well I agree with most of what was said. The best people are those you might meet in real life if real life didn't make it so impossible to meet people

I will do that IfancyRichard

There are some men who pose with a woman! IN their profile picture I mean. Who would message them?! And why do they do that!?

Ive seen some wedding photos. Are they the groom?!?!

Some pose with women who might be adult daughters but it's hard to tell and inappropriate. I'd never have my children or friends in a dating website photo (unless I was using them to sell me )

But if he said he wasn't going to rape u what's the problem
And I have no idea why guys pose with women, though I have seen guys with their wedding pics as profile pics....i shit u not, at least 3 profiles of them signing registar/cutting cake -in a suit with their (maybe ex) bride lol

Tbh when you look at women's profiles you could easily produce a similar list of dos and don'ts

I pretty much did that and decided I didn't want revealing or glam outfits, no carefully posed pics, no sitting at the table drinking a coffee or on the sofa (doesn't reflect my active life), no lying on a bed (wtf?) no bunching arms to push cleavage together, no scowling whilst declaring yourself fun loving, no drinks with the girls, no pictures of children, no wedding pics, I'd be a bit wary of three cats in the background...

UrbaneFox- maybe 10 years ago when OD wasn't so mainstream, you might be embarrassed for your coworkers to find you on a dating site.

These days, I'd guess he didn't want to be recognised because he's already in a relationship.

There's a photo on POF of a man who is asleep in a chair! That's the photo he used. He could be dead.

My best tip...be happy being single. You can still look but enjoy being more discerning.

heyDuggee, yeh, good point! I should have thought of that. I did think I'd spot that. I'll be alert to that. Also, my friend said to me that guys who are on the site during the day, but not in the evening (opposite of most people) they could be in a relationship.

Urbane I strongly suspect some of posting really awful awful pics out of amusement to see who would contact them. But then there is someone for everyone...