For those of you who do online dating, what tips do you have and what have you learned

[bodenbiscuit]

From experience?

What are the signs a man is actually going to be worth your time?

Do you think a decent man should want to go out for dinner? I am in two minds about this. If it's a distaster you don't want to be stuck for hours. OTOH I think if someone suggests dinner it shows that they are more willing to make an effort to spend time talking, not getting drunk and increasing their chances of getting laid!

I would say avoid men with shirtless photos. I had one guy message me that he had been sleeping with his best friend's girlfriend while the friend was on holiday - how to make a good impression!

What I've learned is: OLD is not for me.

A tip: knock it on the head and go to Meetups instead

Meetup is good. Haven't met any boyfriends that way, but have made friends.

Marking place too.. just read this whole thread, it's hilarious! Thanks for the tips ladies

You know how mumsnet advice is to not chase after a man? It's good advice and when I'm reading somebody else's thread I can see it!

I'm sitting on my hands at the moment, not texting an OLD man who has told me that he doesn't want a relationship with me (more good mumsnet advice).

But here's my question........ how do I make men chase me!? It's all very passive, sitting here, hoping and waiting that somebody might chase me! Occasionally a man might show some half hearted interest in me but he wouldn't be compatible with me at all (ie, much older, not good company at all). Any man that I click with, any man I'm attracted to, I can't nudge it along?! I'm very independent, it's hard for me to be passive. It would be easier if sitting here waiting ever resulted in a nice man chasing me.

Any advice?!

Cazadora, I so understand where you ar coning from, I find it extrenely hard to sit and wait when I like someone, I think men get all the advice how to chase/impress a woman but women are just told 'don't do it'. I think we need advice for modern women on how to 'woo' a man. I wish anyone on here could help, even if it's something unconventional!

and I don't mean just online!

Can I join in as well .

OLD is totally new to me and have yet to go on a date, but currently talking to a guy who seems nice enough, but can be hard work- as in he'll often just reply with one liners, which are often closed. I then feel as though I end up asking yet another question, just to keep the lines of communication open.

He's never been smutty, and does initiate a lot of the conversations, but I'm starting to wane...

Lacoba, I would initiate a meeting for coffee, and see what he's like in person. Some people find it really hard to talk online - when you're not face to face (or on the phone) with someone, it's hard for some people not to have that visual or auditory feedback that the other person is interested, paying attention, laughing with you (hopefully not at you!), smiling, etc.

I have made it a rule not to speak to anyone for more than 5 days without an arrangement for meeting being made. Saves a lot of time typing into a void with men who don't really want to meet!

Lacoba you have more patience than me. Someone messaged me through POF a couple of months ago, decent first message asking me where my profile picture was taken and about the food in it. But after that, very closed messages with no questions, so I'd ask what he did, where he'd lived before (he'd mentioned just moving), why he'd moved here, about his children ... he didn't respond with a single question and tbh I was so grateful when he said he was going out so offline! He eventually messaged me again a couple of weeks later saying "we haven't talked for a while" - I just ignored I am more than willing to talk about someone else's life, work, family and find out more about them, but it was such hard work!

Cazadora what age group are you in? I have found men in their 30s/40s don't seem to react too badly if you text them first, however I'd only text once and something like "Hello, how's your day going/gone today? Working hard?" If you're hinting that you want another date, try "What are you up to this weekend?" If they don't respond "I'm thinking about going to this gallery/gig/market/pub quiz - do you fancy it?" then they're not interested.

If they are vintage flowers who think women should never text first then they really don't want to be with me anyway as we wouldn't be suited :)

cocoplum I know, I was just thinking along the lines of what pocket said. He did at one point say that I was asking a lot of questions, to which I replied "it's called being inquisitive and communication". He laughed and said that's okay . Oh and we are talking on WhatsApp...

Oh, heck he's just called me and asked to go for lunch tomorrow! Now I'm pooping my pants . First date out of a horrid relationship, but quite excited. He actually sounded better by phone pocket you may be right wink

I meant...

Go for it! Open mind, see what he's like :) Don't get drunk!

I won't, as I will be driving (and I'm shite at drinking in the daytime anyway).

Perhaps he's a member and saw me wavering - lol..