Why ARE some men so horrible to women?

[jezestbelle]

I recently posted about an awful weekend in Paris essentially spoiled by street harassment or other womens sad stories about it. I have to admit it has kind of coloured my view of men as Ive returned to London and to work. I am not naive or stupid, I know that most people do not engage in this kind of behaviour, but Im just really trying to fathom why, what it is they who do it get out of it. I mean if occsaionally a woman cracked and said ok then I will go to bed with you as a result of catcalling or whatever well I still wouldnt agree with it but you could see a certain logic..but I refuse to believe that has ever happened.
Another thing Ive noticed is women I think are almost self hating and almost gravitate to men who treat them badly, again kind of unfathomable... Also am kind of fearful of the male sex drive right now more for my lovely DD than me. If it really is as powerful as they say can it actually be controlled? I know I may sound paranoid but this is where my head is at. I should add that I do know some really lovely kind and genuine guys who would never dream of harassing a woman, I am even wondering about them is it just that they have supreme self control or something?

Meph - if you want me to look at something in particular then post it here.

I've spent quite enough time on that site already.

Wow, that could consume most of an evening. Do you mind if I provide just a few examples?

evencharming.tumblr.com/post/121384937584/womenagainstfeminism-click-here-to-submit-your

love-mercy-grace.tumblr.com/post/123453893451/womenagainstfeminism-based-on-a-comic

the-fit-feminist.tumblr.com/post/93431706367/womenagainstfeminism

I couldn't find the one that made me saddest any more, where an individual claiming to be a feminist commented on one of the pictures saying she was 'too ugly' to have really been a rape victim. It appears that the users blog was deleted.

I agree with all those feminist's responses.

I don't agree that a troll telling a woman she was 'too ugly' to have been raped is a feminist. They're probably not even female tbh.

I don't like swearing. Remove the swearing and the responses are bang on.

Is it the language or the opinions you have an issue with?

'I don't agree that a troll telling a woman she was 'too ugly' to have been raped is a feminist. They're probably not even female tbh.'

I can see your argument with your first sentence. But that second one? Really? Are women not capable of saying some awful things? They aren't saints, and they aren't above terrible behaviour. Unless you believe that women are more virtuous, simply because they are women.

I have seen on another thread here today a woman being told that she isn't a woman, but rather a goady man in disguise, because she does't agree with some people within that discussion.

Why are you so quick to dismiss the possibility that an internet troll is a woman?

"I couldn't find the one that made me saddest any more, where an individual claiming to be a feminist commented on one of the pictures saying she was 'too ugly' to have really been a rape victim. It appears that the users blog was deleted."

Any particular reason why you quoted a deleted troll?

I'm always rather taken aback when I find men explaining why they can't ally themselves with modern feminism because it is splintered, divisive, aggressive, etc etc, though they wholeheartedly believe in the apparently lost values of second-wave (or first-wave, or whatever) feminism.

I don't see why disagreeing with some people who call themselves feminists should so offend men who hold these egalitarian views that they then find themselves unable to contribute to charities which help women, do community work towards improving gender equality, speak up for women in their workplace, and so on. It so often comes down to 'but I believe the right things, but then a feminist woman was horrid to me'

"It so often comes down to 'but I believe the right things, but then a feminist woman was horrid to me'"

Or even, quite often "a woman was horrid to me so she must have been a feminist."

Really? Are women not capable of saying some awful things?

Oh yeah. And on here too. But the 'too ugly to rape/be raped' is a more common meme from men online ime. That's not to say a woman couldn't copy it. It's perfectly possible. Bit difficult to tell as the troll was deleted.

Generally when women insult rape victims it's more along the lines of 'slut/slag/liar/asking for it/deserved it...'

Right, so have I got this straight? Women decide not to be feminists, to reject generations of struggle that brought them the freedoms that have today, and form their negative opinion of feminists- based on an unpleasant post by a troll that was swiftly deleted.

BertrandRussell - what a credit you are to your namesake - quite the philosopher

It's not just women that get confused about feminism. totally misses point

I haven't read this entire thread so I apologise if I'm repeating what's already been said.
I'm in my late 20s now and can say I honestly can't remember the last time I was inappropriately called at or approached by a man in the street. However I do recall as a young girl, still in school/ college being shouted at by builders, whistled at, men winking at me as they walked past, men walking towards me and saying "coooor nice tits" (whilst I was with my boyfriend!)
The most terrifying encounter for me was whilst I was babysitting for my mums friend, I was in school still. The couple came home rather drunk and the dad offered to walk me home as it was late. I only lived around the corner but I thought it was a nice gesture. How very wrong was I. He started drooling over me (I was scared by this point) I tried walking quickly away from him and he grabbed me from behind and put his hands down my trousers. I started running as fast as I could, luckily for me he was stumbling all over the place and I managed to escape. I was just a child. He was a wealthy man with a wife and two young sons.
My question is, how should we go about these incidents? I feel like if we give dirty looks at wolf whistlers it's not really doing anything except showing them that they've got to us?

slug I loved that Tumblr