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Original poster

Should I go to lunch with this man?

174 replies

secondchapter · 16/08/2015 22:40

I was happily married for 25 years and widowed. Although I had a couple of boyfriends whilst at school, have never done the whole dating thing as an adult. I think that I am a terrible flirt; I enjoy talking to men. Anyway, I was in my local pub (real ale bar, quite civilised) and a regular who was quite merry at the time was chatting me up and asking for my number. I resisted giving out my number, saying that it was complicated but I did agree to meet him for lunch near where I work this week. Anyway, am I mad to go? He is quite entertaining, though quite a bit older than me, retired and with a 1970's attitude to physical contact in the pub (which I told him off for) He often has a younger woman on his arm, I know he is divorced. I have made it clear that this is lunch and that I am not ready to be out on the pull.

OP posts:
DoreenLethal · 17/08/2015 20:36

Geez.

Joysmum · 17/08/2015 20:38
Confused
lostinikea · 17/08/2015 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
secondchapter · 17/08/2015 20:46

invested? Nah, wouldn't invest in him, he would only spend it on beer...

OP posts:
Original poster
secondchapter · 17/08/2015 20:49

No, I'm not on the menu. I doubt he owns a Jag, never been driving when I've seen him and for good reason.

OP posts:
Original poster
secondchapter · 17/08/2015 20:50

And I don't rate status symbol cars, they are silly.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 17/08/2015 20:51

I think you're being completely dishonest on this thread OP - I think you're a little infatuated with this man.

He's crossing boundaries, he's a 'character' - just the sort of person who is a magnet to those who are feeling vulnerable and/or lonely.

I agree with AF: you do sound invested.

AtrociousCircumstance · 17/08/2015 20:52

Sorry if that sounded harsh. I just think you seem really excited by him.

rouxlebandit · 17/08/2015 21:06

OP, shame on you! You've been having a laugh with this thread. Is this what they call a troll?

pinkfrocks · 17/08/2015 21:22

bottom squeezing could get him on a sexual harassment charge oh FFS! Just give him a slap (metaphorical of course) and stand up for yourself.

. He is too old for me and I have possibly got my sights on someone much more suitable, when I feel ready to.

This reads like a Mills&Boon novel.

Or maybe Jane Austen.

Either way, I think you are bored and this thread is a bit of fun for you.

tictactoad · 17/08/2015 21:31

I don't think you ever had any intention of not going, OP.

Not really sure why you asked Confused

Original poster
secondchapter · 17/08/2015 21:32

I'm not a troll. I'm not dishonest. I did like this man before he started to touch me up. That was out of order and I told him. He invited me out and I told him that my situation was complicated and refused. I'm not going to out myself by giving out too much detail, but I was most clear that lunch was to be just that. He was drinking with another woman and the three of us were talking for a while, she was also very interesting.

OP posts:
Original poster
secondchapter · 17/08/2015 21:35

How do I give someone a metaphorical slap?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/08/2015 22:08

why ?

Original poster
secondchapter · 17/08/2015 22:18

pinkfrocks suggested it, but I only know how to give a tangible slap.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/08/2015 22:30

ah, I see

I thought it was another "challenge" you had set yourself regarding this crappy bloke.

pinkfrocks · 17/08/2015 22:36

Maybe you are over thinking this a tad OP?
This guy is a bit of an oaf from what you have said - an amusing oaf at that. You know he fancies you and wants more and you've said you are a flirt. so you are reaping what you have sown; an invite to lunch with an oaf.

You gave him the come on and he's responded.

Maybe the lesson to be learned is don't lead men like him on when you are just teasing. He's not your type, you don't really like him but you like flirting and flattery. Maybe you need to work on your self esteem so you don't encourage men when all you want is an ego boost?

zippey · 17/08/2015 22:55

I would go for lunch with him. You seem to like him, and it might be interesting to meet him while sober. Some men and women can overstep the mark with their touchy feely ways, especially after a few drinks.

If you're both single, I don't see lunch as a big problem, and even a future relationship.

Belleview · 18/08/2015 07:40

I was thinking very much this:

Shocked and grossed out that so many women find groping acceptable and even funny. I'm afraid I agree with AF that you are part of the problem, not the solution.

If you aren't part of the solution, then you ARE part of the problem.

Belleview · 18/08/2015 07:45

But then I read this

Oh I'm so glad I started this thread, it has given me a laugh in places..I may still do lunch with this man, as I would quite like to tell him off again when he is sober.

And now I am thinking this thread is for entertainment purposes only and OP's tone reminds me of somebody who was recently hiding in the shadows hoping to be kissed till she tingled. Both of which are quite 70's phrases.

LineyRunner · 18/08/2015 07:46

So he's a piss-head as well?

Horsemad · 18/08/2015 08:00

Spot on Belleview. I couldn't agree more.

BringMeTea · 18/08/2015 08:00

The OP cannot be serious. Truly. If so I am happy you have had the responses you have. He sounds a right lecherous tit. But you seem to be enjoying the attention so just do what you want. Weird thread.

DoreenLethal · 18/08/2015 08:06

I just cannot get Benny Hill out of my head on this thread.

Horsemad · 18/08/2015 08:25

Yup, he sounds such a catch! Smile