H left kids on my doorstep knowing I wasn't in

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I don't even know how to begin but I'm still fuming almost 3 nights later.
I started a thread last week struggling to get through the days since I split from my husband 7 weeks ago after discovering his affair.
Here is the link www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2440840-6-weeks-since-Ive-discovered-his-cheating-how-do-I-go-on
So the next day he turned up almost 3 hours late picking the girls up. Initially I wanted to give in and not meet with him for a meal as I just couldn't trust that he will keep it up.
He messaged me again after picking them up apologised for being late and numerous excuses and asked for one more chance to meet us later for that meal to show the girls we can get along.
We went to one of the girls favourite places as their is a park they can play at. For everyone else we probably looked like a normal couple. It was so hard I really struggled but I could see my babies were having fun and I persevered. We "chatted" about he girls and DD1's current body changes at age 7. Discovered she had hair under her arms and not sure what exactly I need to do to remove as being mixed race especially I didn't want her to have dark underarm pits like mine from shaving since age 12.
After our meal they wanted to go to the bigger side of the park to have a proper play. I stayed for 40 mins and said my goodbyes to them to start my walk back to my house to get changed to go to the gym.
He was fully aware of my plans as I mentioned it to him the night before and at the time that I kissed them goodbye.
Walked home quickly got changed and left. I then got a call from him to tell me to turn around and collect the girls from the house. I was a little confused and asked him what he meant and he said he has plans tonight and I have to turn around as they are all at the house but he is on his way to his new place. I of course thought he was just joking and demanded he put them on the phone or I walk to his work and embarrassed him. He just said "Oh well Social Services win" I stopped someone in the road to confirm with him on the phone that I wasn't near the house and asked him to put my kids oh the phone. He works not very far from the house.
In total I was away from the house almost 20 minutes by then. I then got a text message from my neighbour/friend who has kids similar ages telling me that she has my girls and she wasn't 100% sure what's happened but it seems like he left them on my doorstep.

I was of course fuming by then. When I got to hers she explained that they were on their way out for her sons swimming lessons and she was just upstairs when the doorbell went and DD1 aged 7 was still crying telling them that her dad dropped her off at the house and drove off. She asked DD2 age 4 to stay by the house whilst she crossed the road to see if neighbour was back from the their holiday.
Our houses are terraced houses with our front door almost on the road. Steps up to the front door. The opposite side of the road is different and friend isn't immediate neighbour she is 100yards down the road with her own garage and front door on the side meaning you can't see her door. She needs to stand on the pavement to see mine. So for that time my DD2 would have been totally on her own in floods of tears whilst DD1 went looking for help. Friend said that she was just stood crying by the door and they took her and rest of the bags to their house. Her husband waited around for a bit to see if H was coming back at all or hovering around to see if they were safe or for that matter if I came back. He of course didn't.
My first instinct is to protect my kids and therefore not ever send them to their dads again. I am not sure f phoning the police or Social Services would have disrupted their lives even more and I genuinely don't think I could have dealt with that as well. Have I done the right thing? Will this come back to me because I didn't contact the authorities.
He never called even after to make sure I had the girls. He sent a message 24hrs later "So what happens now? When can I see my girls?" I of course told him to fuck off.
I genuinely thought he would at least want to make things as simple and stress free for the kids as possible.

I hope the phone call Was ok, you poor thing op. no one in their right mind would think his behaviour is acceptable!

Why is it not nice? It was true. They didn't have paid jobs, most had children at school or grown up - they had time on their hands. And some very odd opinions.

I'm a middle ages lady myself now and I still don't think they gave good advice.

aged

Update:
Still not heard back from police but called SS this morning. Told them the same thing I told police and they then gave me a number for Coram Child Legal Centre and told me it's my duty to keep the kids safe as their mum and to arrange more formal care. But that they will not be taking further action.

I wouldn't think they'd take further action as you have reported it to the police anyway.
But should he want unsupervised access I'm sure they will have something to say about it.

What do they mean by formal? Access centre or regular agreed times?

I'd keep to supervised access until he can prove he is reliable at least. Any further and he'd have to work for it, not be offered on a plate for him to abuse it.

Good, it's officially been logged with an external agency. Next time - let's hope there isn't one - they will be more likely to take action.

It's normal, the first time something happens, for agencies not to pursue it, especially as you dashed back, and the neighbour stepped up. Therefore the children were safe, and so the consequences were fine. Prioty goes to children whose neighbours leave them out there and whose mum still goes to gym and leaves them there until she's finished.

Do ring Corams, they were brilliant for me.
Time to organise supervised contact.

I've been in a similar situ and SS just logged it and told me my duty to keep them safe too but it was worth logging as it helped when I needed back up to keep kids safe

I have nothing to add as advice.

You have done the right thing under very difficult circumstances. I would like to say something about you little 7 and 4 years old girls. They behaved exceptionally well and I hope you had the opportunity to tell them so. The eldest sought help without endangering the smallest and the 4 years old also stayed where she was asked to.

I can't hardly imagine a better reaction. Your girls are very special and they will help you through this.

All the very best for you all.

Awful. Best of luck sorting it OP

So glad you've been given details of a specialist organisation that can help you.

It was well worth logging because they may not be a one off and you need a paper trail just in case.

Well done OP. Continue to log any other incidents that arise in the future as they will provide evidence.

I used to work with young people and the police, SS, YOT and sometimes suggested my clients access the CAB. It was generally a bit hit and miss.

I am unsure why SS would have anything to do with this? Did the police tell you to contact? Are police taking this further? He broke the law not a SS matter, because you are protecting your children, no safeguarding or child protection issues.

I doubt SS even logged it. That would be for the police to do surely?

SS needed to be contacted in case anyone else contacted them to say the children had been abandoned on the doorstep. Other people would not have known the situation, would not have known that the OP was on her way back to her DC after being told they'd been left, they would just see abandoned children on a doorstep on the street.

SS might not have chosen to do anything about it now, but the OP needed to talk to them, pretty much to cover her own back.

SS need to be informed because he is their parent and he poses a safeguarding risk.

When people who have contact with children are a risk to said children then it is SS job to assess/monitor that risk. The police simply investigate crimes. In this case he may have criminally neglected the DC so it is entirely appropriate that the police be involved to investigate that and social services be involved to monitor/assess the risk to the DC. They don't necessarily need to take any action if they see evidence the resident parent is properly safeguarding but they do need to be told.

The fact the op reported to the police is probably evidence she is appropriately safeguarding which means they feel they don't need to be further involved at this stage. If the neighbours had called SS and the op not reported to anyone then they may have made a different decision and wanted to establish that the op was properly safeguarding...

Im not saying that the children were not put at risk, im saying that OP is effectively managing that risk.

I can understand calling SS for advice/peace of mind, but as OP reports SS aren't taking it any further as it is her responsibility to care for her children, which we all agree she is doing. It is the role of SS to step in when no-one in the immediate family is properly fulfilling that role.

The sad truth is that in most local authorities thresholds for SS intervention would be alot higher than the risk posed here.

I do agree OP should have reported it to police, i dont think she shouldn't have reported it to anyone, just unsure why police would inform her to speak to SS. Surely if they deemed her children to be at risk they should refer, if not, theres not much point in OP doing it.

Obviously SS involvement would be needed if OP would be allowing contact with an unfit carer unsupervised, but i am sure this would not be the case after this incident.

No, SS role is to monitor and assess situations where a person who has contact with a child poses a risk or a potential risk to the child. Everything where there is a safeguarding issue should therefore be reported so it can be monitored/assessed. How on earth could children be adequately safeguarded by SS if risks are not reported? Would you expect it to only be reported once a child has actually suffered harm?

Whether SS may or may not respond adequately or appropriately to reports of risks is a separate issue.

In this case they seem to have decided no further action is needed because the OP, by reporting to the police, is adequately safeguarding. It would not be the police's job to make that decision would it? Nor should it be...

And not every risk to a child is something which is reportable as a crime.