Hobbit's Bar is still open.... Still finding it hard.. Part 12 .

[Hobbitwife001]

Well ladies and gentlemen, we're still open for business, this shit is still hard and we are still KOKO ing .....

Jess still finds time to support our endeavours with her Jessagrams...

Let's carry on shall we...

You're a shit Sherlock

Hope everyone is ok after Hackergate part two, maybe it's a disgruntled twat behind it from our board, who didn't agree with the advice metered out to his ex.

I have had incoming from Mr Lycratwat, complaining about the length of time the consent order is taking and the completely extortionate fee his action has racked up in the process, ( £749) .

Now, considering all this is through to him not being able to keep his dick in his pants, and his complete disregard for me and his children, he has a cheek to say the least. You couldn't make it up could you?

KOKO all, xx

Hobbit I would say he has got off lightly - extremely lightly!

Yep, bobsy the man is a deluded idiot, most people would put a zero on the end of that at least.

He's acting like an entitled twat, Hobbit. Oops. Wrong phrase. He IS an entitled twat. Why change the habits of a lifetime?

I'm not a snotty mess any longer, although I was over the whole weekend, and I felt very vulnerable yesterday. It feels like that massive wave of emotion is abating. I have been attacking food recently which isn't normally like me, and I just feel hollow.

Stbxh has just picked up dd for the evening which is a shame because she has been a total sweetie today rather than the screaming whiny mess she was at the weekend. I've got my book and yoga planned for later, and I have become utterly addicted to the Good Wife in recent weeks so I'm sure I will fit in at least one episode in a bit.

I'm just completely thrown by all of this. I thought I was ok, getting my shit back together but I have lost that bit of confidence.

I can't wait for autumn to start. A new season. A fresh start. Another bit of time distancing from what has happened.

I can't wait for autumn to start. A new season. A fresh start. Another bit of time distancing from what has happened.

I'm very much a Summer person, but this sounds like a very refreshing and helpful idea tom. One thing I'm not looking forward to is the nights drawing in and having to return to a cold and dark house after being out at work.

Does the thread have any ideas as to how to meet those needs of a warm, comforting welcome?

I'm going to have a trip to ikea soon. Cushions, throws, candles, sidelamps and I really need some toy storage and a step for dd for the kitchen. Make the house feel nice for snuggling down in. I've also just changed my washing powder which has made everything smell a bit different (in a good way).

I also wholeheartedly recommend a cat. Mine is very good company and fills that need for cuddles and affection.

I would really like new bedding, I will have to sell the house though. Should I wait to move or just say what the hell and get it now?

Think I answered my own question

I changed all the bedding and redecorated the bedroom to my taste, sparkly why wait? You can take it all with you, it dispels their 'claim' on your space if you see what I mean.

The first thing I did was buy new bedding. Its my bed now, not our bed.

nicebrightshirt you need to get one of those switches that will put your light on for you in the winter - makes all the difference....

sparkly change a few lampshades, change the bedding or headboard even - it just starts to be a bit different..am going to get a new kettle too - little changes help...!

ps i have been here before but changed details what with the hacking mess...not a stranger to this thread!

Thank you Hobbit, tomato and Eamon, I think I will - bedroom definitely needs more 'me' about it than just getting rid of his stuff

How is eceryone getting on with their bedroom decorating?

The person who was supposed to call me today re: my parents' interference so I'm still not sure what my position is. V tempted to say "take it to the courts" - surely 6 visits and no support in ten years would not tempt any judge!?

Ex lasted 72 hrs before getting in contact despite telling me he didn't want to hear from me "except in emergencies". Wtf? Tbh I think he's at a loose end. No car. No gf. No family.

On that note I fucking love my car as it appears the down pipe from cat 1 has completely broken off from cat 2 - and yet it still runs... (Exhaust broken in half in lay mans). Ex offered to pay for it - I told him to fuck off as we're not his problem anymore. Although Christ knows where I'll get the money. I did some consultancy for dwp and they've finally implied they're preparing to pay - although I'll believe it when I see it hit my account. Meanwhile I've been scoping parts on eBay and wondering if I could fix it myself... Ain't got an engineering degree for nuffink! ;)

Today I took my first Valium for a few days as I just felt low. Doc told me on tues that I've got kidney failure - I told her I'm not surprised I'm pissing protein given I don't eat, am drugged up to the eyeballs and drink too much. Meh. Ha! The state of meh - towards the nhs natch.

Oh and this is kind of cool - for the next couple of weeks I'm looking after a friend's farm which is "peace making". Although I know jack about sheep...

Oh swiss look after yourself honey, don't want to fuck your kidneys up over that twat, xx

Hey Team Hobbit - disappeared for a while to support best friend on my home turf 7 hours drive away, who's mum died unexpectedly - not because I'm the vengeful hacker..
Just touching base, sending support to all, and need to catch up with what I've missed on the thread. X

You ok truly ?

Hello all,
Hope you're all KOKO and not letting these bastards get you down.

I'm feeling a bit mentally stronger this week. I saw my therapist for the first time in 6 weeks and the last time for a long while now I expecr, he said treating me has been rewarding and that I've been on a remarkable journey. When I reflect I am such a long way from the broken person who would've taken ex back to be a family at all costs.
Ex made threats yesterday to reduce his maintenance, the old me would've bitten back but I simply informed him that I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to and therefor he must do what he feels is right. He didn't like that at all.
The midwife will begin nudging my labour along a week today, little bit scary but exciting too, I feel as ready as I'll ever be practically and physically it's just all the emotions. I can't imagine texting him to say his child has been born. What a sad reality. But I console myself that it is his loss and not mine.
Koko everyone

How could he even say that to you on the cusp of giving birth to his child?
Words fail me tbh, he has entered a new phase of cruelty and disregard.

I thought it would ramp up before you have the baby, it's a common narcissistic trait. But you seem to be able to deal with his crap, you are a very strong lady.

If I could I'd drop everything and come and help you in anyway, but I can't , so it will have to be virtual hugs and hand holds.

Stay strong sweetheart, xx

Keep posting 2little, there are many of us here quietly cheering you on!

Swiss, time to start taking care of yourself. What resulted in the diagnosis of kidney failure? Are you very thin? Sorry lots of questions but we might be able to come up with a plan. Have you been checked for an infection? What had GP suggested to support your kidneys?

Truly, it will get easier. Not easy but easier, honest.

All the new bedrooms, fab idea. I did that too, even made him take our bed and buy me a new one!

I got a new mattress the day after dd helped me turn the old one and I discovered a dint where his ass had been, wasn't sleeping in that so it was turn back and a new one was ordered online within about 30 minutes.

I've had new bedding and hope to completely redecorate including a new carpet before Christmas. My MIL is funding most of this thankfully or I wouldn't be able to do it.

Hello all,
How is everyone doing?
Does anyone think these exs seem to go in cycles or guilt then anger etc. Ex here is back on anger now and it isn't pleasant. I wonder how long until he realises the person he's most angry at is himself!
Still no baby news I'm afraid folks but it definitely won't be long now!!

I don't understand the anger at you 2little but then I don't have a true narcissist as an ex, so I wouldn't . I know that the guilt is probably building up in him due to your impending arrival, so that's the trigger to his response and you have to bear the brunt of it. What an utter cunt he is.

Sending you strength and hugs in equal measure, xx