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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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He used me for sex :-( feel so sad

255 replies

Confused2015xxx · 03/08/2015 16:32

A man persued my for years .
Charming and I was really attracted to him .
We text all the time and got on well .
Two weeks ago he came to mine and we had some drinks .We got on so well and really clicked .
I was just finishing my period and wasn't planning on having sex but he convinced me .
Anyway since he's hardly gave me the time of day .
He sent me a few messages but doesn't seem bothered about having a convo with me .
He told me he he loved me and stupidly I believed him .
We have known each other years .
I text Him 4 hours ago and no reply .
What did I do wrong ?
I feel really sad :-(
I'm not normally this stupid and niaeve but I hand on heart thought it was genuine .

OP posts:
CarrotVan · 04/08/2015 12:43

If you want to claw back self respect block his number, get counselling for your self esteem issues, and stop caring what he thinks about you. If he thinks you're an easy shag then so what? Make it not true, stop trying to prove things to him. Make him irrelevant

suitsyou · 04/08/2015 12:44

maybe his GF has found out and they are working through some kinks- hence the no reply...

lotrben17 · 04/08/2015 12:48

Look, even if what you say about poor old him and the evil trapping girlfriend were true (which anyway he had complete control over) - what decent bloke would be sniffing around for a new 'relationship' when he should be trying to be a good dad? Newborns are a full-time job if you care, he shouldn't even be having the time to enter into this - he's a loser, you'll be a loser if you carry this on.

Ladyconstance · 04/08/2015 12:49

I'm just amazed at the improvement in grammar and punctuation since the last thread. Wink

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 04/08/2015 12:58

So what do you think is going to happen then OP?

LoisPuddingLane · 04/08/2015 12:59

I could make a prediction...

FurryDogMother · 04/08/2015 13:02

Just text him back and say 'sorry, but the sex was shit, not interested in pursuing anything further. See you around.' Then block him.

Confused2015xxx · 04/08/2015 13:03

I'm going to try and just ignore him

OP posts:
Notnowdarling01 · 04/08/2015 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 04/08/2015 13:05

I could make a prediction...
Me too, but I'm keen to hear from Confused Lois as against the MN Massive Hmm

Confused2015xxx · 04/08/2015 13:06

I won't go there again if that's what you are assuming.

OP posts:
EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 04/08/2015 13:06

I should elaborate in case that sounds rude. I mean when a collective is saying one thing and the OP isn't buying any of it, what on earth do they predict instead...

LoisPuddingLane · 04/08/2015 13:07

Oh are we a Massive? Excellent. I've always wanted to be in a gang. Can I wear my baseball cape sideways?

VixxFace · 04/08/2015 13:12

smh

Confused2015xxx · 04/08/2015 13:13

Maybe I'm the one in the wrong anyway.
If I hadn't agreed to Him coming around then he wouldn't of cheated.
He's probably feeling really guilty and bad for what he's done.

OP posts:
Glitteryarse · 04/08/2015 13:15

I think you need to understand this man doesn't even like you. He told you want you wanted to hear to get you in to bed. And it worked. If he liked you op he really wouldnt mess you about. He is just thinking of his cock.

When I was younger (18) I was infatuated with a lad who I could not get out of my system. He was lovely at the first, told me he had always fancied me. For some reason I was bowled over by him. Even when I found out he had got back with ex I didn't care. He could ring at 4am and I'd get up waiting for him. Most of the time he didn't even show. I let him treat me like that for a long time. In the end he just stopped contacting me.

Looking back I had really low self worth. People who genuinly care or even like you don't trear you like this.

Get rid. He is nothing but head fuck and heart ache

LoisPuddingLane · 04/08/2015 13:15

OH.

FOR.

FUCK.

SAKE.

CarrotVan · 04/08/2015 13:16

He would have cheated with someone else. Plus he is in control of his own cock. You both made bad choices.

Glitteryarse · 04/08/2015 13:17

confused honestly - don't kid yourself you are the only one he has been shagging.

LoisPuddingLane · 04/08/2015 13:19

Let's just unpack this:

Maybe I'm the one in the wrong anyway.
Inasmuch as you shagged a bloke in a relationship with a tiny baby, yes, you were in the wrong. But you know that. We've ALL said that. But your being in "the wrong" doesn't absolve him. He was in the wrong, massively so.

If I hadn't agreed to Him coming around then he wouldn't of cheated.
He would have cheated. If not with you, with someone. He's like a dog basically. Wandering round sniffing out fanny.

He's probably feeling really guilty and bad for what he's done.
mmmmm No. I doubt it. All the more reason to steer clear.

lotrben17 · 04/08/2015 13:19

yeah right. i bet he's sobbing into his pillow. Gawd. I feel deeply sorry for the baby that's not getting the attention it deserves and is obviously going into a messy family situation.

Offred · 04/08/2015 13:27

I'm going to try and just ignore him

So you are going to do the same old thing you have been doing for 4 years?! Ok, that should work out differently this time(!)

Why won't you block him? It's because you still have in your head that you are in fact star crossed lovers kept apart by circumstances beyond your control and soon he will say something that makes that clear isn't it?

You have identified your problem - that he talks you round. You know he does that and you want it to happen again no matter what destruction it causes to you.

You are willing to accept the roles of evil temptress and Mr Noble - you are probably only not returning his text because you think it will make him chase you.

Agree with pp - he doesn't love you, he doesn't even like you, or in fact ANY woman - he sees women as objects to be used and you know all that and want to be used anyway.

MatildaTheCat · 04/08/2015 13:30

One question OP: please answer.

If you are 'Just going to try and ignore him.'

Why. Haven't. You. Blocked. His. Number???

Please, please reply. If you cannot think of a reason then you do wish to continue this saga and do not want the advice you have asked for.

Offred · 04/08/2015 13:33

God help you if you come back again saying;

'So he texted, I let him come round, he told me he's been really struggling with the guilt but he cares for me so much he just can't let me go. He says I am the one but he has to live up to his responsibility to his child and being that he doesn't want to be like his dad, to his gf too. We slept together again, he says it has to be the last time. I know it's wrong but I just love him so much. I can't believe his GF is ruining his life so much, he's such an amazing man'

LoisPuddingLane · 04/08/2015 13:34

AND NOW I'M PREGGERNANT :( feel so sad

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