Happily single and no threat to your man so why do you fear me?

[notrocketscience]

Reading another poster on the difficulties of a single woman mixing with men through mutual interests; rambling, sport, photography, studying, evening classes...
It got me wondering, and I've suffered from this most of my life as my interests do not include spas and shopping or TV soaps. I like men and have had serious relationships but I also like them as friends. I'm currently a very happy single mother and with no intention of starting another relationship. I'm not a cheater and will not encourage any taken man. Yet other women do see me as a threat and it hurts because I'm really not and it does impact on my very limited social life. Is being a single woman such a bad thing that everyone automatically thinks I must be hanging out for the first man to offer me a quick one? (And don't get me started on the number of mm friends of the Ex who thought exactly that).

Ha ha! I used to think that way when I was young (attractive!) and single. Looking back now, I doubt it was the case. I just don't think that women warmed to me. I have Aspergers so I probably came across as odd and misinterpreted the situation.

I know several lovely single women who are adored and included very much in the lives of their coupled-up friends. Me, not so much. I doubt any of us are seen as a threat.

Incidentally, I know quite a few women who love soaps, spas and shopping; they also speak Russian, foster children, build temporary housing in South America, sail, play rugby and sing in a band. Be careful not to write off women in general OP, based on a few superficial interests expressed in general chit-chat. It takes time to get to know someone.

I definitely don't have asperger's.

As discussed upthread. Things are different when you're young, and pre-kids. It's kinda cool to resist setting down, to still have some unmarried friends, and then something shifts after about 35. I know when I left my x (with two small kids in tow) some of my friends hadn't even met the men they were later going to settle down with, have kids with.

What's with you worse. You seem determined to prove anything but the obvious: that cheers was excluded from the château bcs she was single. It is clear she was invited once she was coupled-up. But no wait, I get it, she wasn't invited bcs she was wearing an invisibility cloak and he didn't see her. That's about as likely as your justifications. So what's the deal, why do you persist with denying what is obvious. What's going on with you on this. Leave it, you've made your point over and over.

Back to discrimination: what is the justification for standard form-filling where one is required, at the very outset, to declare not only whether one is married or single but also whether one is divorced, separated or widowed. What has marital status to do with anything (except tax) and why is it acceptible to have to routinely declare it.

Interesting point about not being able to ask why one was excluded from an event. I remember a married work colleague who I was getting on really well with who suddenly started to avoid me. It could well have been because he suddenly decided I wasn't good company, I'll never know, but it was very strange and out of the blue.

Springy I genuinely don't understand your last post, but I may just be being thick. I asked if maybe he thought she wouldn't enjoy it on her own (so to speak), meaning if everyone else was in a couple maybe he thought that would be uncomfortable for her. Obviously he should have asked her.

However, if he's a player with a reputation, perhaps his wife does edit the guest list and prefers couples. That would be entirely understandable.

I think you just don't like me. I'm completely middle of the road on this. I take offence at the thread title because it is making a sweeping statement about married women that is just untrue. I agree that some women may not trust single ones around their partners but I think they are a minority.

As for exclusion, someone had a pop at me earlier telling me it was about 5 chairs round a table being an awkward number. That is exactly my point!!!!!! I must be really sh*t at communication. My point is exclusion where it happens can be for any number of reasons, and not fear of losing her DH to a rival.

The other thing here is all married women were single once. I have been single relatively recently. I'm not sitting in some ivory tower making proclamations.

One thing I can say for certain is Springy I think we'll be excluding each other from our entertaining lists in future. Me because you might steal my DH everything I say irritates you, and you because everything I say irritates you . It would make for a very irritable evening.

Springy I think you can ignore questions like that on forms. Not an expert though on anything

I'm sure we would irritate one another worse

But you seem a nice sort and I'm sorry for being irritable in my post - I was exasperated that you seemed intent on not seeing the obvious. By I see you genuinely don't see it.. gah

(As for not liking you: I don't know you! I didn't like what you were saying but that's not the same as not liking you . two different things!)

I don't fill out those bits on forms but it is outrageous they are there. They shouldn't be there! I would also like not to fill out my title - but that's another thing.