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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DRY 8!!!!!!

999 replies

CheesyNachos · 24/07/2015 12:22

Hello! This is our 8th! thread for those who are abstaining from alcohol and for those who want to abstain. :) We love newbies and lurkers. We have people who have been DRY for years, for months, for weeks, days, and hours. :) ALL are welcome. We have heaps of tips and we offer support at any stage.

DRY 7 the previous thread is here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2347295-DRY-7?

OP posts:
Marrou · 24/09/2015 21:21

Wow, everyone is doing so well! Lots of people getting through the early stages - there are some great tips here. Today is day six and I'm ok. I mean actually ok, the nausea and lightheadedness have passed now and I haven't felt like wine at all.

I'm on my phone so can't check back so easily but wanted to high five the poster with teenagers. Feck me, they are enough to drive a person to drink. I have two teenage dd's and it can be hard work (I'd highlight hard if I knew how!).

Night all, hope everyone is ok tonight.

ididntsignupforthis1 · 24/09/2015 22:03

I've had a shower and in bed.
It's not too bad at moment
I've been jittery today though

gladistopped · 24/09/2015 22:39

I have a teen DD :( She is very hard work.

gladistopped · 24/09/2015 22:40

In bed. Didn't drink the wine. wish it were not in the house tbh but not my choice :(

bubblebathandcandles · 24/09/2015 22:54

Hi everyone, welcome patter and ididnt. I'm around the same as hadron and into my 3rd week with gusto!

I was a bottle+ of wine every night too and thought I would never get this far. My biggest fear was not being able to sleep so I got some over the counter sleep remedies and took them for the first week. I am managing to sleep fine without them now and sometimes don't even hear my alarm. Those 4am wake-ups with the sweats and banging head seem like a distant memory now.

My routine is to keep busy until around 8pm, then a leisurely bath, then tuck myself into bed with my laptop and a huge mug of Horlicks. This thread has been a huge boost, as teapot said, when you see others have done/are doing it, it makes sobriety much more achievable.

bubblebathandcandles · 24/09/2015 22:58

Well done glad. I don't know if I would have been so disciplined.

As for the teens, I have 2 in the house, they go from being my best friends to my worst nightmares at a moments notice. Wouldn't have them any other way though. x

FusionChefGeoff · 25/09/2015 07:41

Welcome, welcome to ididnt and patter some excellent practical tips from everyone here. I'll add to try to just think about today and not over think about the future. Just don't have a drink today and think about tomorrow when it comes.

Fridays can be harder so make sure you have extra resolve today. Hangover free Saturdays are amazing!!! You will bounce out of bed, refreshed and raring to go and feeling super smug to make the most of your day. Instead of sweating, head pounding, hiding inside the duvet, desperately wishing that everyone, including the children who we would climb mountains for, would just fuck off so we could sleep off our self induced misery.

As someone up thread said, the glistening image of a chilled glass of wine is A FAKE!!!! Since when did you EVER just sip that one civilised glass and then put the bottle back for tomorrow???!! Play the tape yo the end - including how you will ruin your weekend with hangovers and make it miserable for those around you.

Treat nights all round - I'm planning one of my favourite dinners, a bath and some valuable lolling on the sofa time.

Here's sending sober thoughts and good wishes to you all.

patterkiller · 25/09/2015 07:45

Morning. It took a while to get to sleep but slept unexpectedly well. Feel awful to say but my eldest is ill with a sore throat so stayed in her room last night so the house felt a lot calmer. The youngest is feeling a bit rough this morning so I hope a cross over of illness will give me a few days conflict free and get me over the weekend. I'm focusing on making hot lemon and dispensing paracetamol and trying to keep busy today.

TeapotDictator · 25/09/2015 07:53

Well done patter. And glad; you did so well to survive the wine. Can you get it out of the house?! I honestly don't know how you do it - huge kudos. Most of the time I think I'd be fine but if my mother someone "accidentally" leaves half a bottle of white in the fridge I'm very relieved that I don't need to keep it there and can just throw it down the sink. Last night was a good example where I'd have a "fuck it" moment... exH late bringing the DC back to the house and no communication; sitting here feeling like a human ticking clock silently fuming... Angry

Lucy2610 · 25/09/2015 07:54

Welcome from me too patterkill and ididn't :) Hope today you feel less jittery. Your nervous system is responding to the removal of booze which is why we get hypersensitive and hence the heightened anxiety. If it gets worse please seek help.
BamBam how you doing?
Off for a run once the kids are on the school bus as it's glorious sunshine out there Grin

ready2steady2stop · 25/09/2015 10:04

Hi pater and idid and fusion thanks for bringing more sober wisdom to the board. glad big kudos - I have no alcohol in the house at the moment at all as not sure I could resist if it was just there. Flowers to teapot. Am on my phone so apologies for missing others out and Brew all round.

Today is my 50th sober day. 47 days ago when staying stopped felt like it would be a daily fight I couldn't possibly win and all I could think about was booze I would never have dreamed it possible (a +1 bottle of wine a night on average drinker who graduated to the unimaginably evil ways of similar amounts of vodka before stopping).

No special treats today really as I am still treating myself daily to chocolate and biscuits I didn't touch before but whatever it takes....! No complacency here. Tomorrow is day 51.

Happy sober Friday's to you all x

Lucy2610 · 25/09/2015 10:12

Congrats on 50 days! ready Daily treats is the way to go - we felt we were treating ourself every day with booze so why not? Wink

BamBam21 · 25/09/2015 10:22

Hi everyone. I almost didn't want to post today, as I failed and drank last night. I thought I should face the music and come clean though. The cravings were just so bad, and then DP came in and said, "oh, I'm finding it really hard today", and before we knew it we had a drink. It's pathetic. We managed 3 days. He says we shouldn't beat our selves up, and just start afresh tonight, but it's not as easy as that is it?

50 days is brilliant ready! Well done youStarThanks

Lucy2610 · 25/09/2015 10:46

3 days was always my stumbling block BamBam. The memory of the hangover is fading and the little voice starts up so I know how hard it is Flowers

patterkiller · 25/09/2015 12:34

ready that's amazing. I'm dreading tomorrow bambam that will be my day three and I'm already thinking of strategies. And at least DH is AF so can't tempt me. I have just listened to a hypnotherapy session from you tube. I don't know if it will help but it's just half an hour and I'm taking to my room after dinner to listen to it in the hope it gets me through my time I'm most weak.

TeapotDictator · 25/09/2015 14:05

Well done for coming back Bam; shows you really want to stop. Your DP is right, there's literally no benefit whatsoever to beating yourself up - all that does is make you more likely to drink. And since you want to stop... Wink

So - what are you going to do differently to try to avoid the same pitfall? Did you have booze in the house or did one of you go out to buy some once you gave in to the 'voice'? Get those pyjamas on once you get home! Wink

BamBam21 · 25/09/2015 14:16

Thanks for being kind everybody. I feel quite down about it, but I need to haul myself up and get on with it. I really do want to stop, but I find it very difficult to resist the wee voice. We have a shop literally 2 minutes walk away, so it's very easy to nip out.

I just need to regroup and get my head straight again. It's so frustrating.Sad

TeapotDictator · 25/09/2015 14:24

You find it hard to resist that voice because you're addicted Bam. The good news is that millions of other people have beaten the voice, and you can do. The only bad thing you can do is to stop trying. Flowers I think it's fantastic that you're straight back on here, and be kind to yourself - you know there are thousands of people drinking that amount who haven't had the clarity yet to realise they need to stop. You have had that moment of clarity, now it's a case of plodding on till you get there.

ididntsignupforthis1 · 25/09/2015 14:54

It's my day 3 too.
I feel good now at work - more awake.
But tonight is the weekend.
My dh drinks still. Also we normally take dog for a walk via pubs (and won't stop this so I need a strategy for that too)

FusionChefGeoff · 25/09/2015 20:47

BamBam well done for coming back and don't let yesterday ruin today - we only have today to live so make it a day you don't have a drink.

I didn't stop straight away - I couldn't resist that little voice and, I know it's not for everyone, but I had AA meetings as a real motivator and real life support network in the difficult days. Eventually, my desire to drink got less and my desire to stay sober got stronger.

Definitely keep posting and keep trying. Try to imagine that The Fuck It button isnt an option so you might as well give it another go!

bubblebathandcandles · 25/09/2015 21:30

Congrats on 50 days ready and here's to the next 50. Brew

If it's any consolation bambam, I made the decision to give up for good on 1st September. I tripped up on day 3, day 8 and day 9. On day 10 I was so mad with myself cos I should have been on double figures that day and something clicked. I wanted to get to double figures and once I got there it has been so much easier.

Don't give up giving up, I don't intend to. Flowers

custardcreamdreams · 25/09/2015 22:53

Day three was always the day I faltered too BamBam, keep plugging on, one day it will click. It's over, you're back here, onwards you go :)

Congratulations ready Star. Fifty days is amazing!!

Hope the dogwalking went ok ididn't. First weekend is the hardest but if you can get through it, the following weekends will get easier. Trust me, I barely think about drinking now.

custardcreamdreams · 26/09/2015 13:11

Hello all and how is everyone on this fine, sunny Saturday? Anything nice planned?

Up hangover free on a weekend morning and a parkrun done. Can't beat it. Had a wee chat with dm when I was picking up the dc again and she said she was proud of me. How two years ago I would have been smoking and drinking away and now I'm up first thing and out for a run. I've never had a discussion with her about how I was drinking too much but maybe I didn't hide it as well as I thought.

ididntsignupforthis1 · 26/09/2015 14:25

Thats good to hear custard - positive motivation for us!
Told dh this morning how much more I'd been drinking than he thought. He had a moan at me. On our walk though he didnt insist we went to the pub.
Although he did say I'd have to get over it and have a coffee or coke. I know I'm an all or nothing person and think I'd be better avoiding totally. But he's going on saying 'everything in moderation ' (I can't seem to do this in ANY area of life)
My adult son said ' well you'll have a drink soon' etc but dd is being nice, saying ' well done '

TeapotDictator · 26/09/2015 16:44

ididn't normal drinkers really don't get it. A very good friend of mine, a real 'party buddy' from my past, sat with me at dinner one night asking me imploringly why I couldn't just have one glass of wine. Interestingly with me not drinking, he sat there nursing his one glass throughout dinner - had I been drinking too we'd have had two bottles between us. Basically he is a normal drinker who enjoys that naughty feeling when he's out with me but I have to live with it all the time, wanting two bottles at dinner..! He just doesn't understand.