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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DRY 8!!!!!!

999 replies

CheesyNachos · 24/07/2015 12:22

Hello! This is our 8th! thread for those who are abstaining from alcohol and for those who want to abstain. :) We love newbies and lurkers. We have people who have been DRY for years, for months, for weeks, days, and hours. :) ALL are welcome. We have heaps of tips and we offer support at any stage.

DRY 7 the previous thread is here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2347295-DRY-7?

OP posts:
CheesyNachos · 31/08/2015 08:37

Sainsbury's also do an alcohol-free sparkling wine which is really pretty good. That was always my downfall, .. sparkling wine.

Welcome Huevo :)

OP posts:
MuttonDressedAsGoose · 31/08/2015 09:03

I don't think non-alcoholic beers and wines would appeal to me: it's not like I drink them primarily for the flavour. I've known some alcoholics who have tried them and found them nice and others who have found them to trigger cravings for the real thing.

Since my not drinking seems to be strongly linked to not having sugar, I find that I'm sort of at a loss for what to drink in restaurants. I don't mind tap water (I live in the North where it tastes nice) but it gets boring and I sometimes feel sheepish about ordering it. I resent paying for bottled water but I think if I were in a nice restaurant - particularly with other people - I may order it just so I don't feel odd.

Next week I am away on a business trip. I spend a lot of time alone in a hotel room between meetings and sometimes I have significant down time. My work is stressful and so I have sometimes coped with the boredom and stress by drinking pints throughout the day. Like, four pints over the period of 12 noon and 9pm. I'm hoping that if I avoid sugar and take some diverting things to read and do I will cope OK.

Lucy2610 · 31/08/2015 09:59

Wow Glad - that didn't happen to me after drinking the red but shall bear in mind in future ......

Lucy2610 · 31/08/2015 10:02

Mutton do you have a laptop or device that you could download Netflix or similar service too and use the down time to watch films? Or is there a hotel sports/spa complex you can relax in? Just some other ideas really .......

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 31/08/2015 10:14

Yes, I take my laptop but sometimes I can't really watch Netflix if the hotel wifi isn't very good (and I'm too cheap to pay for the upgrade!) Anyway, there's only so much telly/video I can watch. I already do a lot of that, anyway.

Sometimes the hotels have fitness facilities and I do like to use those. I sometimes also can go running in the morning and I even sometimes do walking lunges down empty hotel corridors.

All of it gets boring and I sometimes feel stuck for a way to get out and do things, depending on where I am. I spent a week in a hotel by Heathrow and the only thing to do was to go to the pub across the road for a couple of hours in the afternoon. I once went and wandered around the terminals but I have to stay close to the hotel in case I get a text telling me there's a conference call I have to participate in.

Lucy2610 · 31/08/2015 10:25

Tricky indeed ...... boredom can be difficult to manage creatively. Book, chocolate, tea and nap would be my strategy as you are planning. Plus you can always come here :)

BamBam21 · 31/08/2015 14:53

Hi everyone. I am just dropping in. As expected, I drank on Thursday and Friday, but then it continued over the weekend.Sad I know that DP has got us some for tonight, but then as from tomorrow we are on the Dryathlon, and I know I will stick to that. The hard thing will be to keep it going after September.

mutton you asked how important it was for me to drink with DP. I think honestly that neither of us would want to drink without the other, but that we both have a problem in that we can't moderate. A recipe for disaster really. It's just sort of what we have always done, but it needs to change. I am actually quite excited about Dryathlon starting, and being "off it".

Hope you are all fine. Smile

Lucy2610 · 31/08/2015 17:27

BamBam me and the OH were exactly the same - which is why we stopped together :) Coming up 2 years for both of us so it can be done Grin

BamBam21 · 01/09/2015 08:48

Thank you lucy. That's a fantastic achievement!Smile

Day One here, and although I feel a bit nervous, it's actually nice feeling that the choice of whether to drink is gone. We have both been sponsored, and would both feel too guilty if we drank! I just really want to do this, and to make it a permanent change in our lives.

Hope everyone is well today. Smile

bubblebathandcandles · 01/09/2015 09:19

Good morning.

I've been lurking for a while but not had the courage to admit I have a problem. Having read other posters I can see I am self-medicating with alcohol to get through difficulties in my life. My sensible head tells me that if I stopped drinking I would have the strength to make life good again. Then I get tired/bored in the evening and have a bottle of wine to de-stress/help me sleep.

But not today. I CAN do it and I WILL do it. I have to go to work now but will call back here at wine o'clock.

x

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 01/09/2015 09:42

I drank wine when I met up with a friend last night. Didn't want to say no - kinda wanted to drink. It was only a couple of glasses and I didn't get drunk but I'm a bit annoyed with myself. I'm not really sure why. I mean, if the only drinking I ever do is a couple of glasses on the odd occasion then that's not a problem at all. I didn't want to drink more, either. It wasn't like I had to make myself quit drinking. Diet-wise it wasn't great (and it made me hungry and crave McDonald's on the way home!)

I don't always drink too much. But there are times I do and I don't really know when those times will be.

TeapotDictator · 01/09/2015 10:01

Mutton I could say that about my drinking too - in my case it kept me drinking for years. It doesn't sound as though you've mentally made the decision to stop, because I remember being in that place where I just didn't care enough to say 'no' when going out for drinks. I would often just have one or two, but that didn't mean that on occasion I'd drink way more than other people, have blackouts, and say/do things that had me hiding under the duvet the next day.

Unless you've reached that pivotal point where you know that the cons outweigh the pros, you won't succeed at stopping drinking. Only you will know when/if that point comes. Until it does, trying to abstain just feels like a white knuckle ride in between temptations.

If your head's in the right place, stopping isn't that hard, because at some point inside of you the thought is there that "here we go again". I know people who have abstained for 3 months and then gone back to it, only to eventually end up in the same position they were when they stopped, which is being "sick and tired of feeling sick and tired". Eventually you reach the point where you're able to see ahead - yes, on that first night you pick up a drink you may only have one or two. But a few weeks/months down the line, you're exactly where you were before.

To add, I just read your first post on the thread and it sounds like you were/are like I was - many times when you drink nothing 'bad' happens, but then you have a bender. All I can tell you is it's much easier to avoid this happening if you abstain completely! Wink

Lucy2610 · 01/09/2015 15:02

Go you BamBam :)
Welcome bubblebath
Mutton I agree with all that Teapot said and was the same. Could have sensible regular nights and then would have a howler and there was no way of knowing how or when that would happen. Gah - don' miss that! Grin

bubblebathandcandles · 01/09/2015 22:22

Thank you for the welcome Lucy, I know its not gonna be an easy journey. My plan is to replace my nightly wine with bubble baths and candles (hence the name). I've almost got through tonight. I find one or two nights doable then cave in towards the weekend. I am hoping that with people doing dry september, I can be motivated by them. x

BamBam21 · 02/09/2015 09:36

Hi everyone!

That sounds like a good plan bubble. You won't be "dry", but in a good way!Grin

Well, day 2 for me and I am feeling rather pleased with myself. DP came home last night and was really struggling, so he got himself a drink, but I didn't have any of it!! Yay!! I actually felt quite happy with my cup of tea, and really knew how bad and guilty I would feel if I drank. In the end he poured some of it away, and he is determined to do better tonight. I am just chuffed because I never thought I would happily sit with a cup of tea instead of booze!Smile

A lot of you have posted upthread about how insidious booze is in our society, and I think a good example of that is the adverts for Dryathlon. It's basically a big laugh about how, by the end of the month, all you will be able to think about is booze. I know it's meant to be funny, but surely a society like Cancer Research should know better than to trivialise problem drinking??!! Confused

bubblebathandcandles · 02/09/2015 16:31

Well done BamBam, I don't have the discipline to turn down a drink when it's in the house so alcohol is currently banned. To be able to drink tea when someone else has a 'proper' drink is a great achievement.

I have joined the Dry September thread as well as this one. I want to be totally alcohol free but need a short term goal to aim for. 30 days does seem like a long time though!! x

ready2steady2stop · 02/09/2015 17:06

Hi everyone, have been off the thread for a week or so but am still here and most importantly still dry - day 27. Welcome bambam, BCBG, Mutton, Huevos and Bubblebath! Apologies if I have missed anyone new (or coming back) from that, not intentional.

Just back from a short break away - the first one EVER where not a drop of the evil stuff has passed my lips. It was such a huge relief to not have to worry about where I was going to get my fix from. DH and I would have always shared a bottle of wine a night but that wouldn't have been enough for me so I'd have had to have worked out all kinds of strategies for getting more alcohol in, finding somewhere to hide it in a strange place, carrying it with me etc etc - am so very ashamed to think about this now.

I've just read the Jason Vale book too Glad and I think despite finding the style a bit irritating (and very similar to the smoking book I read a couple of years ago) it has really worked for me. I'm still counting the days but with a skip in my step. At the moment I really don't feel I have given anything up at all but I am gaining masses. Amazing - and would never have thought this was even possible a few short weeks ago.

And my sleep has mostly sorted itself out now which is a relief. Still mainlining sugar however - some good advice up thread on this, think I need to get that under control now sooner rather than later as have never had a sweet tooth before.

yellow are you out there? Come back to us and let us know how you are getting on. How is everyone else doing?

Biggest thing for me now is to not get complacent...

CheesyNachos · 03/09/2015 06:59

Hi all... fell off thread.... will read and catch up.

OP posts:
CheesyNachos · 03/09/2015 07:08

ready what tips do you have for getting through a trip without booze? I am going away this weekend (yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... I am SO excited) but also have never had any sort of break booze-free and am feeling anxious. It's shaping up to be a boozy trip with friends (but I am the only one with a child so have lots of chil-friendly things planned like swimming and so on) but the chatter back and forth about what people are planning on putting in the mini-bar already is triggering. I found that M&S do a really lovely pink grapefruit squash that I love with sparkling water so am taking that...... and will take my Veronica Valli / Jason Vale/ Soberistas books too.

I'll be fine, I am sure... just having a wibble. Friends know I have been 'off it' for a bit but it is still something that I keep private. Mainly because I hold my sobriety precious and close within me. (I need to keep reminding myself of that I guess when I wibble!).

OP posts:
bubblebathandcandles · 03/09/2015 07:49

Morning everyone.

Managed to avoid the cravings last night but it was tough - and it's only day 2!

I know I won't see the benefits overnight but after a few days of feeling rubbish being sober I tend to give up so will keep reading how much better everyone is feeling to spur me on.

Luckily I don't have a sweet tooth so sugar isn't an issue for me, although I do find it difficult to find a substitute for my nightly bottle of wine. It's surprising how long the evening lasts when you are sober so am trying to fill those hours with something constructive (I even emptied my ironing basket - can't remember the last time I did that!)

My next 'mini goal' is to get past the weekend. Wish me luck - I'm gonna need it.

CheesyNachos · 03/09/2015 08:14

Ironing!

I need to do a bit of that myself. Good idea. :)

OP posts:
BamBam21 · 03/09/2015 15:41

Hi everyone.

Day 3 for me and I feel I am struggling a bit. I could really go a drink, but I know I would regret it. I have got a horrible cold that has been hanging about me for about a week now; I feel tired because between the cold and no booze I can't sleep; and I have my third driving test on Saturday morning. My instructor can be a bit of a twat, so if I don't pass this time I will find someone else.

Well done bubble. It really is hard. I am in awe of some of the folk on this thread! Smile

Seabiscotti · 03/09/2015 17:52

Hi all,

I have been lurking on and off for a while and was hoping I could join you.

I want to quit drinking now once and for all.
As some of you have said, I can have one or two glasses and be fine. Other times, I drink way too much.

I hate "the fear" when I have been binge drinking, the days of depression that follows. The fear is even there when I know nothing embarrassing has happened.

I also find now, that even not drinking much, is leaving me tired and sluggish the next day.

I want to start doing things (lose weight, get fit etc) and my current lifestyle is getting in the way of that.

It is also not good when you don't want to plan anything for a Saturday or Sunday morning, because you will be drinking the night before.

Today is Day 4.

Thanks Sea

custardcreamdreams · 03/09/2015 18:55

Hi and welcome Sea :)

How are you getting on now Bam? Tiredness is a killer when it comes to craving. Just think that drinking will do your immune system no good at all.

Very jealous of you seeing Faithless Lucy and how fantastic of you doing it sober!! I've a prodigy concert coming up in a couple of months and I'm bricking it already as to how I'll cope, not only the booze will be flowing. A small part of me wants to just forget it but I know I'll kick myself and I can't keep hiding away from things I want to do.

Hope you enjoy your weekend away Cheesy.

Lucy2610 · 03/09/2015 19:12

Custard Now I'm well jell about Prodigy! If I can do Faithless sober - you can do the Prodg (massive fan here and tried to persuade DH to go but I've dragged him to see them too many times!!). Red Bull is the answer Wink
Welcome from me too Sea :)
BamBam stay strong day 3 is the hardest!

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