Step inside it's the Dating Thread 92!

[Whatsforsupper]

I'm not one for songs Or starting threads I saw the last one was full.

I shall post The Rules shortly:)

Super. My date was lovely - party was fun. Stayed over - was fun . Both going on holiday this week (seperately) so won't see him for a while. All looking good so far.

Size 14-16 will put some men off. But so will being brunette rather than blonde, having been to college or not having been, having kids or not having kids.

The point is, dating is about weeding out the ones who will be put off by things that you are, and also weeding out the things that you don't find attractive in a man (being bald, not being bald etc) until you find the right bloke who you like a lot and who likes you back a lot.

It's not about being attractive to everyone, it's about being attractive to the right one. You don't have to date every man to find the right man - although maybe sometimes it feels like it does. You just have to get lucky.

Incidentally, my girlfriend is probably a size 16 or so. Possibly an 18. She's embarrassed about her curves as she used to be much slimmer before she had kids. I love each and every one of them, and find them and her sexy, and I tell her so.

If I was filtering based on dress size, we wouldn't have met, so I'm glad I didn't. I think she's amazing.

Thursday coming not happened yet date with lead smith. 90 min phone conversation. His accent is fab but I think aspects of my past would shock him so I'm undecided whether it's a goer. He is fit though

I loved that post bant

Reading all your updates but a bit sleepy so just take this as a blanket hug and wish from me that you all hd a great weekend.

Clooney made no effort to see me this weekend so I put myself back on the market. Agreed to a date with the surgeon from before and gave my number to three more who I am texting. Quite like one of them

Haven;t told Clooney yet but noticed he;d updated a pic on his dating pofile last week. Just a few days after our exclusivity chat...so as far as I am concerned it's mixed messages, headfuck territory and he can't expect honesty and devotion from me.

Britney, Clooney sounds like a player , he sounds like Mr Machanic who I am trying my best to ignore at the moment ( haven't spoken to him for 3 days ).

I'm finding it hard talking to multiple men, they all seem to message me at the same time, 2 message me through Facebook and 3 through whatsapp, I know one day I will mess up and send the wrong message to the wrong man, they are all very different from each other, a couple like to talk about sex, one likes normal chit chat which is starting to get a bit boring ( 'have you had a good day?', 'what you up to today?' Type thing ), Mr young messaged me last night to say he really enjoyed yesterday and enjoyed the company, he hopes we can meet up again, I do like him but the whole kiddy thing is worrying me ( even though I come with lots of baggage too ). Mr Ginger goes from talking about normal things, sending me photos of his children to sending me dirty messages so I'm not sure what he actually wants. Still getting messages from Mr Tubby who seems to be in love with me even though I have never met him.

POF has been a bit quiet for the past few days, not many new messages and not many people looking at my profile, so seems at the moment my choices of men are the ones listed above.

Is anyone else finding all the same sites have the same small pool of guys? I live between a few cities and its always just the same guys I see

Yes, I have found the same though I live in a rural area so there's not as much choice, most men I talk to live over an hours drive away apart from Mr Young .

Oh I always drive an hour away, but that does cover several cities with over 2 million people. Bit still just the same old guys.

Some guys seam to have had the same picture for years. God knows what they look like in perwon

unlucky - not that I spy or anything but yes have seen same men crop up on different sites, maybe not at the same time but still...

britney I really would ignore Clooney based on the new pic up etc... definitely a player and why do you put up new pics if not to attract fresh fish/men/women?!

min - sounds excellent the party, staying over, etc...

never generally men who are dirty depends but they usually are just after one thing... even though they say they aren't. I think when you're in a relationship it's acceptable but not really at start. You need to speak to Mr Young re his ex and the baby - someone I met and dated last year through OLD had a 2 year old, basically him and GF had gone travelling to try for a baby, had split up either whilst travelling or when they got back (can't remember) and she was pregnant when they got back. But they're friends and he parents the child seeing her after work etc. basically they both thought travelling and a baby would 'fix' their relationship.

Bant what a nice post. I wish more men were as honest.

Wotsits Mr Lead Smith does sound nice and a 90 minute chat is definitely good news! Aspects of your past - bollocks to that - I always keep that hidden or share early on, he has the same baggage trust me. however having said that I recall about 7 years ago I met a man in a trendy part of London (oh go on then Clapham ) - he was naice, well educated and didn't seem sheltered. I was new to OLD then and I naively told him about my past (clubbing, Es etc) to which he was shocked either in the bar or afterwards - he made some pretty disparaging comments which were rude. I wouldn't have minded only i was 34 or so, smartly dressed, well spoken, PA for job so not like I was a state, with a drink problem - and even then I believe you shouldn't judge. I mentioned it to friends years later (think I felt deflated back then to mention it) and they just said "what a silly man to judge like that, his loss!". The strange thing was that we got on very well and he even wanted to see me again - but the sticking point was my 'partying past'. I dread to think what would have happened had we dated and he found out...

Hi everyone :) just caught up with the thread...missed the end of the last one. I think my date with mr Saturday put me off old or at least made me a lot more cautious (date went really well, really liked him, but nothing after...think he is a player and I was played :()

Anyway on holiday atm and lost count of the amount of times I have been asked where my husband is and then the look of sympathy when I confirm I am on my own having a great time, but would be nice to go away with

Oops hit post before I'd finished!!! Point being I need to make more of an effort I think, so going to go and message some guys...think of it as a numbers game, the more I talk to the more likely I am to find one that is right for me.

I'm probably committing a huge crime, but I haven't read the whole thread. Just not enough time.

What do people mean by its a numbers game?

I just thought if I sent a few messages I would be more likely to get one or two replies. It has worked too. Sent messages to ten guys this morning and have had three replies, one of which gave me his mobile number and one wants me to go out for a meal :)

But I'm really no expert unlucky do someone may come along with better advice than me. I just found that if I sent a message to a guy I really liked the look of and liked his profile and then he didn't respond I would be a bit disappointed. Sending a few messages hoping for a couple of responses seems to be a better way to go.

Super in the end I called him on it - the past. He said oh I don't need to know - I said tough I want someone I can be honest with and not self edit. I speculate he would be shocked at some of my lifestyle choices and events in my marriage. I can't be arsed with that so I might saturate him a bit and see what happens.

Britney - ugh Mr clooney is a player don't bother!!

Hi all,

Not been on for a bit but have been lurking.

Have had 6 dates now with Mr Metro, we finally DTD which was very nice ... but ... I feel like I'm getting slightly cold feet the more time goes on. I've only seen him twice in the last 3 weeks thanks to his shifts not co-inciding with my nights off. We do text in between, but he won't talk on the phone - he says to anyone - even if his friends call he screens and then texts them back. I want to CHAT to someone, after all texts are fine but it's like messaging through the OD site - you don't get a good enough picture. There are a couple of other things that are getting to me but I feel really petty and/or snobbish mentioning them.

I'm dabbling on the site again TBH, and am feeling a bit down - lots of v attractive men when I first signed up and I ignored most of the suggestions for Mr Metro. Many of them are now not showing up.

Also there was one profile on there I really liked the look of and he had come up as a mutual "like", so I messaged him - a decent enough short first message but more than just "hi" (my pet peeve!). He never replied :( I checked his profile again today via my messages, he was active on the site this morning but no longer comes up on my match list so I assume he's hidden me :( I know I'm breaking the thick skin rule, but I really liked his profile and pictures, and I don't know why he hid me or never messaged me if he liked my profile?!

I find I'm always waiting for men to message me first. I hate making the first move, and the couple of times I have messaged someone, they didn't reply. Any advice on this??

Thanks all. I'll try and read the thread properly later - am at work.

Wotsits in the end if he doesn't want to know maybe he doesn't want to know yet if you see what I mean...!

maybe drip feed him some stuff and see how he reacts.

coco personally if you're getting cold feet more and more with Mr Metro it is probably fizzling out on your part anyway.

Strange that if I've messaged someone they usually message me back no idea why.

I really would not invest too much in one guy who doesn't reply, if you do it only ends in hurt. what I ended up doing was cherry picking a few and messaging them, just a light hearted message but more than 'hi', if they're interested fine, if not, try some more.

Saturn and unlucky yes it is a numbers game. generally also there are more women than men on sites so for you to appeal you need to maybe say something different.

I don't do OLD now. my friend is thinking of doing it again she was on EHarmony which I didn't get on with.

Afternoon all!

Coco

I wouldn't get hung up on guys 'liking' you then having a change of heart I couldn't count the amount of 'likes' I've sent messages too who then ignored me, its part and parcel of online dating which is why its a numbers game only a percentage of those you want to talk to will feel the same. If you're not getting what you want from the guy you're dating you can always end it.

I actually don't reply to any 'likes' anymore its rare I'd want to date them if I see someone I think Id like, I send a message.

On that note, I may need to try some new dating sites:)

Hello to everyone else!

Mr young has just messaged to hint at another date, he wants to come over and cook for me and then watch a dvd, I'm a bit worried about leading him on, I don't want things to move too fast as I don't want to be exclusive ( as I enjoy talking to other men, including Mr Ginger ) and I don't want anything too serious too soon. Am I expected to kiss him or dtd on the 2nd-3rd date? I am really nervous, I don't know why as I have met several men and dtd on the first date but this is different as he's not like other men I have dated. I have a feeling the date will be in the next few days as I'm going away next week on holiday so he will want to see me before I go, I'm also meant to be meeting Mr Ginger next weekend. At least I will have time on holiday to think about what I actually want and who ( if anyone ) I want to continue seeing.

Never you're not expected to do anything you don't feel comfortable with... however if you like Mr Young then a kiss would be ok/nice. DTD I'd leave until 3rd date or until you feel more comfy. The holiday break sounds great to sort your head out, has worked for me in the past.

Thanks Super, I might aim for a kiss and then have a think during my holiday, I do really like him but I don't want to lead him on if he's expecting a serious relationship anytime soon. He's young and good looking, I could easily DTD for that reason alone, but I don't want to give him the wrong idea .

Late evening all!

never

Maybe you should suggest you have a drink at a bar rather then him cooking. You could feel pressured into having sex if you're at his.

Id suggest maybe you have a drink at a bar def don't feel like you have to do anything you don't want too do. Hope it go's well.

And. Hello to you all.

Should have being.

And, Night all!

Hi hoping its ok for me to join in as I have just entered the dating world again.

Decided to sign up to POF just as a starting point and aside from a few oddballs which I have ignored its been ok.

One particular man messaged me after a 'mutual match'. We chatted over the weekend and are now sending a few text messages. He makes me laugh which is a great start and has a lovely smile. I asked if he wanted to get to know me more and he replied yes do you fancy meeting up at the weekend. I was pleasently suprised although we havent arranged any detail yet. Neither of us have met anyone from a dating site in person before. He has full custody of two young children, so the time to message and meet up is restricted which I am trying very hard to be patient with. I am starting to have the self conscious thoughts now about if he will fancy me in person etc but I guess thats all part of the process.