Step inside it's the Dating Thread 92!

[Whatsforsupper]

I'm not one for songs Or starting threads I saw the last one was full.

I shall post The Rules shortly:)

Well heard back from MrG he wants to see me again, but due to a holiday and his time with the kids it's going to be a few weeks. Have said that's ok (as I really fancy him) but said we have to have a longer date which he agreed with. Have to say I'm learning to be very patient with the situation.

Got a question for you ladies... Hope you'll be able to give some insight.

Met a lady recently through match. She's really pretty, and seems to be in the same stage of life as me, similar values etc... We're meeting for the third time this afternoon / evening.

We kissed on the second date and I think both of us feel attraction. The problem is I seem to be really conflicted. Every time things have gone too fast and got physical too soon ( often as a result of boozy dates ), and this time I am trying to do it right. We've talked, and I explained that I want to take things slow, get to know her and see where things take us. Weirdly though ( and a little bit from reading this thread ! ) I feel under pressure about that choice though.

Honestly, I'm not sure about her at the moment. Not because of her, but because of me. My last break up was hard on me, and I know I'm guarded because of it. I'm ready to move on, but I'm finding that ( sober dates ) are nerve wracking and the fact I feel nervous means I'm not sure. The flip side is that I might feel nervous because I really like her and subconsciously I'm holding myself back.

She seems okay to take things slow, though she has said she wears her heart on her sleeve and does like me.

How long should I give this ? When I know, I know. I've met once and never again often enough, had my fair share of liking the other person, and not being liked in return but never this sort of half way house. I am, sure my previous breakup is at the core of it, as well as my desire to not hurt or use her. ? What would you think about a guy that said lets not jump into bed till we know each other better ?

( a caveat... Boozy dates doesn't mean going out and getting lashed, simply that most dates have happened in bars where we've both been able to have a few drinks ). ( Another... I'm over the last relationship and really ready to meet someone else. But have actually never been this hurt before and I know it has made me more guarded ).

Sorry for the wall of text...

RLD.

RLD- I think i would find it lovely if someone wanted to take thing slowly when it came to sex, etc. It would make a welcome change from a lot of guys OLD who just want a quick fling or a one night stand.
I think that so long as you are clear that you are attracted and that you do enjoy spending time with her then that would be fine, as you don't want her losing interest.
I would also be careful not to come across too intense. At what point would you consider taking things further sexually?
Also, you are about to have your 3rd date. In my experience, would prob not expect sex till about the 4th or 5th date anyway, so don't worry too much.

Thanks Weeoclock :)

I'm trying to make her know that I'm not "expecting" sex to any deadline... Just when it feels right. Honestly, I'd like to wait a little while because it was a lot of fun kissing the other day, and like today, I am really looking forward to kissing again... I like the feeling of tension building ( good tension not the bad sort ! ).

I just don't want to jump in bed unless it feels right this time. But then sometimes the physical side helps you to decide that someone is right for you. It's a real minefield being serious about dating and a trying to be a gentleman !

Oh, and most importantly... Good luck to everyone on the thread. Been lurking a while and taking an interest :).

RLD.

Not read anyone's updates but wanted to post this little tale regarding the world of online dating!

I dated someone...ohh...over a year ago now. A few dates, very intense, lovely guy, made me crack up laughing and I was absolutely gutted when he dumped me. He went quiet...stopped texting as much, didn't have as much time. Completely battered my self esteem at the time.

Anyway! I did meet him on POF, but turned out he was a friend of a friend in real life so we actually stayed in touch and had a shag a few times. I thought to myself he was such a great guy there must be something wrong with me.

Fast forward a year and he's just been dating a lovely looking lass, really kind smile and a gorgeous little girl of about 3 or 4. Pictures on Facebook of them on holiday as a family with his parents...then at museums on day trips. Photos of him holding hands with the little girl. Another recent holiday of him at the beginning of June with her and the little girl.

All the while, I noticed he was still active on POF

Then boom, a few weeks later and that girlfriend with the little girl seems to be gone and he is posting photos of himself holding hands with another very pretty lady at a wedding. Now...as she is his wedding "plus one" I am guessing this has been going on a few weeks at least!

Just posting this as this man spent months telling me how he wanted to get maried, have a family (hes 39) and how he felt it might pass him by. He treated me like a queen, wined and dined me, took me to great hotels, was interested in my life, played with my son, met my friends and was generally great - my friends actually really liked him

Then boom, I was dumped and confused and to be honest loking at his behavior now it shows it was never me. The man is commitment phobic and says one thing and does another and is always looking over his shoulder for someone else instead of spending time getting to know one girl.

Just a reminder to all of you....when they dump or ignore or pull a 180 degree reversal on things - I bet it's NOT you. I bet if you observe that man he does it to everyone and you had a lucky escape!

Met with Mr Machanic today ( he came to my house for a couple hours ), it was much different than I expected and I am now even more confused, he has been blowing hot and cold over the past month or so, one minute texting me non stop and then nothing for a few days though I do think we are as bad as each other, I don't like to do all the running so I wait for him to contact me, only I think he is the same so we end up in a stand off with no one texting. It has been about 6 weeks since the last time we saw each other and tbh I only wanted hi. To come over so I could have sex before I go on holiday ( that sounds bad ). Things seemed to go ok today, we talked about a few things, just normal conversation and we DTD ( which was pretty good but he obviously hadn't done it for a while ), he seems genuine and his stories about being really busy at work seems to add up. He wants to see me again before I go on holiday so I'm trying to sort out child care so I can see him tomorrow evening ( going on holiday Tuesday ) and he wants to see me as soon as he comes back.
I'm not sure if he is just a mind fuck, if he's just after sex or if he's looking for a relationship ( maybe I will find out tomorrow ), when he kisses me he looks into my eyes and he smiles a lot . I'm not getting my hopes up and will keep my options open, I am scared of getting hurt so don't want to get too emotionally involved, at the moment I am looking at it as a bit of fun but secretly hoping it will lead to more. He is no longer on POF, said he took himself off a while ago, just not sure what to make of it all.

Mr Ginger will probably message me tonight, I find it hard chatting to someone when I have spent the day with someone else, I know he will be a bit upset today as his children go back home to their mums ( he hates saying goodbye ) so he will probably want to chat. It seems hard work for me to chat to more than one man, feels like I'm lying a little, anyone else feel like this?

Very true that post Britney!

hey everyone! Not checked in for a while as not really online dating at the moment. Hope you are all OK and welcome to the newbies!

Never that sounds like a sensible plan re. Mr Machanic - see him but don't get emotionally attached, at least not yet.

hiding I am sort of the opposite to you in that I'm the one with the kids meaning that I can't see Mr First Date as much as would be 'usual' in a new relationship. He is being really patient about it and has never made me feel like it's a problem, and I really appreciate that about him.

I'm still seeing Mr First Date (should really find him another name now!) it's been a month or thereabouts. I just wanted to have fun with OLD, like date loads of guys and have ONS with no feelings whatsoever. I have never done this, what with being married for most of my adult life. In actual fact things have not turned out that way at all, I've met up with one bloke, Mr First Date, and have been seeing him ever since. I'm not sure if it's a relationship or not, but it kind of feels like one. I'm happy to just see how it goes!

I am wondering one thing guys and if anyone would care to share I would love to know. It's re sex, etc at home. So in order to see new bloke as evenings child free are limited, I invited him for the evening at mine. Not sure how "far" others would go when children are asleep upstairs. Although they rarely wake, they do occassionally and dont want them to meet him, or obvs catch me/ walk in the middle of something sexual. So just wondering what boundaries others have in place if any?

That's a difficult one, isn't it. Could you get a lock on your bedroom door, then if you do get disturbed, your date could hide whilst you go and see what the matter is?

Nora, I am glad you are enjoying Mr First Date's company its great you are both just going with the flow as sometimes its the unexpected things that turn out to be the best :-)

Well me and MrG continue to message regularly, although I did have to ask him if he actually liked me flirting as I didnt often get any back. He replied that he likes it but isnt great at doing it back which confused me a little. He does seem quite an unconfident person and keeps reassuring me that he really likes me and had a great weekend as he met me. I do fancy him and just hopes he comes more out of his shell.

Well to add a slightly complicating factor (you can tell im not used to OLD lol) another man MrC has started messaging me. He seems quite keen and lives very local to me. I am happy getting to know him for now, its nice having someone who is a little more forward to chat to but its making my head spin a little.

Have a great day all.

So I've had a couple of dates with a guy who is now away in his home country on holiday for 2 weeks. We saw each other the night before he went. He messaged me to let me know he got there with pictures, and I messaged him Saturday to show him how awful the weather was here. Haven't heard anything since, I've got to wait this out and not message him, haven't I?

How old are the children weeoclock?

I usually sleep with my bedroom door open, the dc's know if the doors shut they are not allowed to enter ( they are 9 and 11 ), if they are old enough to to read you can put a sign on the door reminding them to knock if they need you.

It is hard when you don't get much child free time, I have the same problem, I get 5 hours on a Sunday when the kids go to their dads, other than that I don't get any time unless I can find a sitter ( which is tricky unless I ask ex dh to do it, which he is doing tonight ).

Nora, I know what you mean about wanting to have fun with OLD, though at first I wanted to find someone for a relationship ( so opposite to you ) but have ended up seeing several guys and having a bit of fun. I got married when I was 22, met dh when I was 20 and was married for 11 years so felt I needed to have a bit of fun , I am now a bit scared of finding 'the one' as it means no more fun with other guys in OLD, I think this is why I am looking for things to be wrong with every man I meet ( trying to talk myself out of getting into a relationship ). Mr Machanic makes me tingle but due to blowing hot and cold ( or being very busy, not sure which one is true ) I am petrified of liking him too much.

Never I do find having several men interested at same time hard work but then I'm not on dating sites anymore...

Mr Picnic was great at tapas and his friend's party afterwards but I'm not getting much of a spark there, he on the other hand is really touchy feely and really 'likes' me - a few of his friends came up to me at the party and said 'Laurence (his name) really likes you Super'.

Mr Marketing is away beginning of this week for business we may meet up Thursday.

accountant is on hold.

office surely if the younger guy can't text at work and gets distracted then it is what it is? I wouldn't be too harsh on him re that. what did we do before texts?!

never - Mr Mechanic sounds great but what does he/you want is the question and answer?

Nora sounds good re Mr First Date. going well.

I am sort of wondering whether I should do OLD again if only to see who/what is out there. I'm on Smooch but half the guys there are either too far away or not my type at all. so I don't bother to actively use it!

Hy everyone. Just wanted to say thanks for the advice about reporting people. It came in handy the other night when I had to tell someone who had repeatedly messaged that i wasn't interested and his reply was that i was an "ugly slag anyway". Yeah yeah, if I am then wtf are you messaging for. Idiot.

It's interesting to hear that people are really into the dating thing and talking to several guys. I'm like that too. I spent too many years feeling not good enough so it's flattering to get some positive attention for a change x

Crazydaisy, I'm sorry you had to put up with that. I'm sure you're aware it's because he's an arsehole, but still!

Grrrr, I think Mr Machanic has stood me up ( or he's working late ), hasn't seen my message on whatsapp but has been on there, was meant to be going to his tonight but doesn't look like it's happening, not surprised though . Off on holiday tomorrow so will be having a break for the week.

So, I'm back... I've skim read the thread but it will take me. While to catch up I think...

After the disaster that was Mr. toogoodtobetrue... He messaged me apologising and we started seeing each other a again but then last week had a 'tiff' about something really, really silly and he hasn't been in touch since. It was my fault really, but I'm guessing if he'd really been keen he would have been in touch, so nevermind.

I've joined POF and been chatting to a few guys there. One, Mr. gardener sort of invited himself to meet me when I was out with friends this weekend. I was a bit drunk and although he was lovely I just didn't fancy him so had to tell him and felt pretty awful about it, but he was a bit like a lovesick puppy.

So now there is Mr. Super hot and Mr. funny. Mr. Super hot is ten years younger than me and clearly only interested in sex, but as he appears to have stolen Channing Tatum's body then I'm going to meet him for a drink and see what happens. he is quite sweet in a way. Not that chatty though but may be in person. Mr. Funny is also kind of hot and absolutely hilarious. Very easy to talk to and am hopefully going to meet him next week.

Never I hope Mr Machanic at least got in touch with you to give an explanation there is nothing worse than being left waiting. I hope you have a lovely holiday anyway.

Well MrG was a little odd with my yesterday, so I asked why the hot/cold approach as its so confusing. He sent me the longest text saying basically due to things in his own life he didnt have the time to be dating anyone right now. I did reply, just said it is a shame as he is a nice bloke and I did try to be patient with his situation. I just think he had no time whatsoever not due to his kids but he seemed to have a full on social life too god knows how he will meet someone but hey ho onwards I go.

MrC has now asked to meet me, we have been getting along well over messages he is quite deep but I understand why given the bits he has told me. Its like the total opposite of MrG. He lives really close by, he invited me for a cuppa last night but I said no lets go on an actual date later this week which he was pleased about.

Everything has changed in 48 hours, I guess thats part of OLD hope everyone else is doing well.

Have heard nothing from Mr Machanic, I have a feeling he may have removed me from whatsapp as it says he 'last seen at 5pm yesterday', I messaged him at 3pm but the message hasn't been marked as read , I have now deleted the chat so I can't keep checking if he has been on and seen my message. I'm pretty pissed off and upset even though it was kind of expected from him, just upset as he was the one who begged to see me before my holiday, I had to go out of my way to sort out a sitter so I could see him ( I would have been happy to wait until I got home ), I never chase after a man, let them do the chasing as I don't like looking stupid. Maybe he will message today but I doubt it very much .

I spoke to Mr Ginger last night but I'm kind of getting fed up with being his agony aunt, he moans quite a bit about his problems ( money, ex wife, kids etc.. ) but doesn't really listen to anything I want to talk about ), not sure if we will meet next Sunday.

Mr Tubby has messaged me every day for about 4 weeks now, I'm really tempted to meet up with him, it's just his weight issue which puts me off a little, he seems really lovely, said he wants to treat me like a princess, he doesn't have children but likes kids ( wish he had them ), he messaged me early this morning to tell me to drive carefully today on my way to holiday and told me to text him to let him know I got there ok. His face is very good looking, he has the most amazing smile and eyes but is on the large size (40" waist ).

Have had a few others message me on POF but due to going on holiday I have not replied.

Hopefully I can enjoy my holiday without thinking too much about OLD and Mr Machanic being a total idiot

Hope you all have a good week, will be back Saturday xxx

Never why don't you just go ahead and meet Mr Tubby? He may be a wonderful bloke and you could be missing out
The others sound far too much effort if you ask me

Midori - yes thanks I'm realising that now. I forgot who i was before I met the ex. Its fun getting back to being me again

I regularly get killed on aibu for minor spelling mistakes but sometimes even I get offended by the spelling from guys in their 30s on dating sites. Wtf does he mean?