It's so difficult to have those conversations that give insight and understanding around this subject - partly because most people don't actually WANT to have insight into the mind of someone who would even contemplate hurting a child.
I think there may be a unbridgeable gap between this mindset, based on a instinctive and visceral rejection of someone who could do this, and the enquiring mind who sees the need to study, analyse and differentiate different types within this awful behaviour.
I don't think name calling and nasty wishes are in the slightest bit useful to either mindset. And neither is the right one vs the wrong one.
Rochelle Im sorry you find it troubling that 'so many mothers have such closed views'. They are reacting to abhorrent behaviour and protecting their children. They are also reacting to the great mistake of the previous judgement, which allowed paedophiles to operate under the noses of parents and people that should have protected the children.
By operating from a very different position, you are also going to need to state your viewpoint very clearly and assuage the fears that will be raised when you are coming at the topic from such a different mindset. I'm sure it's irritating and feels rubbish for you to be swimming upstream against a tide of instinctual reaction, but this is the nature of our society and the nature of the job you do. On this thread you jumped in without explaining why you were so keen to show differences in lay persons definitions, and people couldn't undrstand the point you were making and therefore your motivations. I think that was a mistake. Unfortuneately as you are the expert with the very specific viewpoint, it's you who needs to be very clear in phrasing any insight you chose to give, in a way that people can understand and also be very clear that you are not 'on the side' of the abusers vs the victims just because you choose to analyse the abusers and differentiate between them. I'm sure you feel that's annoying and that you shouldn't need to do that, but there is it, if you want to educate people you can't do that if people don't understand your motives.
If you don't signpost your position and motivation, whilst coming from a very different point of view, it's unsurprising you will get confusion and defensiveness. Especially on a thread which has in the subject matter adults excusing and minimising the behaviour of a paedophile.
'No sympathy', 'no excuses' type of response is because people want to keep the real victims centre stage and not forgotten. People are understandably very worried that by analysing and differentiating between types of offender, it's a small step to 'explaining away' the very real and life destroying effects of all types of motivator. The results remain the same to the individual victim and that needs to be very much the core of all thinking.
So, engaging in these types of forums you will need to be clear about your stance, as your stance is unusual and without clear signposting could be mistaken for something rather less moral and ethical than it is.
As for the insult about how you might react to a victim of it happened to your family. That was out of order and wrong. And I'm not excusing it but trying to understand it (a position in sure you will understand), when I say it was a (wrong) reaction to you making it personal with your last post, when you hope that mothers (parents?) would think differently if their children ever committed a sexual offense. It was a response 'in kind' to that insult. But took it a level worse, inexcusably.