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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband's affair - Tom is moving on

910 replies

tomatoplantproject · 30/06/2015 22:14

I took a break from mumsnet for a little while. It has been an eventful little while. Mumsnet keeps breaking and I'm sorry but I can't link my previous threads.

My husband had an affair with an Italian, I found out over 2 months ago. I kicked him out and since then have been trying to rebuild my life whilst keeping things stable for my little girl. I have an amazing family and friends who have been looking out for me.

We have had various discussions since I found out and have been seeing a Relate counsellor. Various posters have been warning me to be wary given how he has been behaving.

He was due to go to Spain last week on his own for a holiday - he cancelled at the very last minute after I asked him not to go and has been spending time with dd and I. Things were starting to thaw between us and we were building at least a friendship.

I had a job interview this evening and he did dd's bedtime routine for me. When I came home he sat me down and told me he was going to be honest with me. He has been in touch with the Italian Job since I found out, and they were due to go to Spain to see if they had a long term future. He pulled out on the Sunday after I asked him not to go.

I won't ever trust him ever again, and he hasn't put me first or respected my wishes that he is not in touch with her. So I am done. Once and for all. I can now move on.

You were all right. I just wasn't ready to believe you.

OP posts:
Rozalia · 04/07/2015 09:25

Get that clarity back, get back in charge of your own life. I let my STBXH mess me about for 2 years over whether he was leaving or not. I tried and tried to make things work while he just gave me enough hope to hold on.

I could barely think straight, I didn't know up from down and was always off balance. Which is what suited him of course as it kept him in control. When he finally left I felt such peace and calm. I'm flying now.

You make the decisions for your life, not him. He's made his and has the consequences. Just a warning. I forgave the first affair. Big mistake. He thought he could do anything and get away with it. Inside, where I didn't like to look, I knew he could lie to my face over and over. It really wasn't worth the anguish. The pain of splitting up was less and life gets better and better.

He's shown you who he is, believe him. Don't make my mistakes.

Twinklestein · 04/07/2015 09:27

Of course, if you hadn't twigged that the holiday was to meet up with OW and asked him not to go, he'd be on a beach with her roundabout now.

tomatoplantproject · 04/07/2015 09:28

Rozalia - thank you. He has spent the last 10 months lying to my face, and the turmoil you describe is impossible. I can't trust him. I don't even trust his current reactions.

OP posts:
tomatoplantproject · 04/07/2015 09:33

Twinkle - yes. I hadn't thought about that.

OP posts:
Twinklestein · 04/07/2015 09:39

The last time he phoned her was presumably to tell her that he wasn't going on holiday with her.

Saying he needs therapy to find out what he had wasn't 'enough' implies that you weren't well.. 'enough'.

Even while trying to get back together he's mildly insulting you. How does he expect a relationship to work with a wife who's been told she's a compromise that he needs therapy to come to terms with?

Quite apart from playing her off against OW until the very last minute.

If he'd gone on holiday with OW and she said she'd decided it wouldnt work, he'd be saying exactly the same things to her: the crying the begging etc.

I don't think he knows what he wants, but he doesn't want any of his options closed by someone else.

CitySnicker · 04/07/2015 09:43

So the Italian finally gave him the heave ho then?

JohnFarleysRuskin · 04/07/2015 09:44

Op, he's been blubbing for months-

blubbing then telling her he loves her and he can't show you his phone 'on principal', blubbing then arranging a test drive holiday with her and telling you he needed to be alone to clear his head.

A few tears don't a personality change make...he hasnt respected you for a long time- you need to be clear on this.

Rozalia · 04/07/2015 09:48

I don't think he knows what he wants, but he doesn't want any of his options closed by someone else

This exactly. STBXH left late last year, got cold feet and wanted to come back. I said No for a month while he begged and pleaded. Once I caved and he came back it was the same old thing, then he left again after 6 weeks.

He wanted to decide what happened. Now I definitely won't have him back he's devastated and depressed. He thought he could control everything and do exactly what he wanted.

Be the strong, positive woman you were yesterday and you actually are without him jerking you around. Your positive optimism was a joy to watch, it really was. Which "you" do you like best? When are you happiest? Planning your enriching future or wondering what stunt H will try next, who he's texting, where he really is, what does he really mean? It's soul destroying to live like that.

tomatoplantproject · 04/07/2015 10:17

I knew you guys were good at helping me think through the confusion.

Nothing is ever "enough". In the end neither was I and so he went after an upgrade. I accused him of this.

Ok. So what is next? What is he going to hammer me with in a week or two? What's the script?

OP posts:
BrucieTheShark · 04/07/2015 10:27

One or all of the following:

Self-pity
Anger and blame
Being the perfect 'I will wait for you and do whatever it takes' - interesting to see how long this can be maintained
More money or access shenanigans
Kidding himself and you he wants 50/50 care of your DD
Buying himself new clothes/sportscar, dying hair or starting to go out with much younger friends or colleagues
New girlfriend

Weebirdie · 04/07/2015 10:28

Tom. There is no script for these type of men except that you must now believe with all of your heart that you'll pay for thwarting him. It's why I've suggested that you do what it best for you because you are going to be punished for this no matter how you approach it.

tomatoplantproject · 04/07/2015 11:11

Thanks both. So the way I go I think is to just trudge on ahead assuming its just dd and me for now and see what happens over the course of time. If he has a radical transformation that will eventually become apparent, and if he hasn't really changed that will also play out.

I'm not going to file for divorce or take any other radical action yet.

OP posts:
CateCadiz · 04/07/2015 12:12

"I'm not going to file for divorce or take any other radical action yet."

This is the wisest course Tom. You have reached a place where you know that should it come to that, you will cope admirably. Now it's time to forget making any decisions other than positive ones that affect yours and the little one's life right now. Give it at least another three months....at the very least. You will find it very empowering to be in control, which will help you see things much more clearly.

NeitherHereOrThere · 04/07/2015 12:54

You asked about the script - here it is the midlife crisis script

tomatoplantproject · 04/07/2015 13:04

Thank you Neither.

He has just picked up dd for the rest of the weekend.

Apparently when he first read the book "how to help heal your spouse" it was too judgemental and so he ignored it. He read it cover to cover last night with fresh eyes and sees very clearly what he has to do. He doesn't think it is judgemental in tone any longer.

It's going to take months if not years for me to believe him. I'm going to ride it out and do my own thing in the meantime.

OP posts:
TealFanClub · 04/07/2015 13:05

What's all the bed stuff about in the middle of this thread?! Confused

Weebirdie · 04/07/2015 13:36

Why? Is it bothering you that sometimes people can have a matter about other things?

CitySnicker · 04/07/2015 13:38

The OW has finally told him to go shove it and he is panicking because he could be left on his own completely. He's acting out of self-interest.

Weebirdie · 04/07/2015 14:13

And this business of knowing what to do now he's read the book on the same week he emptied the bank account and mid way through a week when he should have been away with the OW.

The book doesn't matter and nothing he says about the book dose because he was still involved with the OW Last week and anything he thinks he felt for her he still does.

BathtimeFunkster · 04/07/2015 14:26

Op, he's been blubbing for months-

blubbing then telling her he loves her and he can't show you his phone 'on principal', blubbing then arranging a test drive holiday with her and telling you he needed to be alone to clear his head.

this is so, so true.

Yet again your resolve to move on with your life has been destroyed by him throwing you the tiniest of bones.

This time it was the one most women get on Day 2 - Man Tears (so much more important than women's tears.) Hmm

What has changed now?

You already knew he didn't want to get divorced, what has changed just because he is crying and bellyaching about not getting his own way

Answer: nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

He showed you a pre-wiped phone. A few weeks ago you saw that for the obvious bollocks it still is.

Why are you putting off your own life to fanny about worrying about his latest "realisation"?

FFS if you want this faithless, lying, egomaniac who thinks you are not quite good enough, then the very best thing you can do is move ahead with divorcing him.

You know from last week he will play dirty. Why wait around and give him more time to get one over on you?

If he ever turns out to be a man worth your time you can always get back together.

Seriously, a bit of self-pitying weeping and you're throwing your ;and your DD's) future up in the air for a man who I supposed to be figuring out h S future with his girlfriend?

Come on!

This is same shit, different day.

Nothing important has changed.

BloodontheTracks · 04/07/2015 14:34

Oh he doesn't think it's too judgemental now, does he? Bloody hell. How interesting. How utterly predictable. This is a man willing to completely change his opinions, self and truths according to the circumstances and in order to not be left with nothing. I'd respect him more if he had a single solid fucking bone in his body.

It is only when you truly are ready to leave him that he magically truly is ready to get serious. What does this tell us? Yes, it's probably that the OW has finally had enough, but also that he is motivated only by the potential of his own loss, not by your pain or love for you and DD, which has been consistent since discovery.

It is sad to see you use words like trudge when you were previously using words like build and dream. It is hard to see you crash through your bottom line, which was very very clear. I would humbly suggest you think about a new bottom line, what it is, and why you are very quickly prepared to disregard the old one. What, if anything has changed.

I'm actually going to go against established wisdom here. I think you have all the information here. There's no more to get. I think your trudging on is a representation of limbo, rather like his, in which you are too weak and hurt right now to be able to make a choice. The difference being you have every right to be weak and hurt. He is a selfish, irresponsible liar. It is very very hard to close doors. Life is choice and choice is loss and loss is pain. I think that by not being able to face further pain you are going to keep both realities potentially available to you. But I believe this is no way to live and is more damaging in the long term.

His crying and noises are irrelevant. Different dances. Like a child who cries over having a toy taken away. Do you comfort the tantrum? Worse, do you return the toy?...What's being learnt here as a pattern?

So I'm going to suggest you should consider taking him back, since it has always seemed that's what you were going to do. It's pretty clear that when somebody says 'It's over if they do this' then they do that, and it's not over that something else is at play. Whenever you encounter him you get pulled into his orbit. What I find infuriating in regard to him is that it is very clear from your description that it is HE that wanted to talk. HE came into your house, HE put her to bed and then HE said you should talk. The power relation is utterly clear immediately. You were in no way ready to talk, but HE wanted to so it is assumed. So you did. This is in direct contrast to the advice you gave yourself only yesterday in this thread. This is not a healthy way you can either free yourself OR build a different relationship with him. You talk when YOU are ready to talk. And preferably, in the first example, get to a point where you aren't bothered about talking at all. You are part of this dance.

If you take him back you can move through the script faster, which will probably be something like a very positive first three months, adrenaline and honesty inspired. Then there will be a depression from one or both of you, you perhaps because the old familiar tropes of the relationship are raising their head again and you begin to think that you had a chance to get out and you didn't take it. If your life is going well outside of him you will begin to wonder why you stayed and if it going badly you will become very down and resent him. You will also have huge trust issues which he will become angered by and say you agreed to forget. He will be angry with you even if he does get back in contact with OW (when people fall in love they fall in love. It doesn't just disappear). Even if your trust issues are right, he will respond with anger because in his head what difference does it make, she doesn't actually know, and he decided to stay so, you know, Tom won. So you will have no way of knowing if you are paranoid or right. You will not want to cause problems because of DD and you can't put her through that again. It is, in most cases like yours, the harder path.

So I am actually going to suggest a few things, if you don't mind. I think you should consider reading a book called 'The Passion Trap' (sometimes called the Passion Paradox) which explains exactly why he is behaving as he is right now. I strongly think you need to continue with individual counselling, whether with the lady you saw together or someone new. I think you need to think about how his admission that he 'steers' you is actually quite a dark thing, and that it is going on now. And I actually think, against conventional wisdom that you should make a choice one way or the other and live through it. Half-hearted is no way to live. There's no more information to come. Nothing will 'become apparent'. If you finished with him it at least you could find your strength and meet someone else who could provide you all the things you will be missing right now, which you associate with HIM, but are actually just associated with a PARTNER. If you get back with him at least you will understand how you feel more quickly.

Ps. His phone was blank after HE came into your house and HE SUGGESTED that you talk? Not exactly a shocker.

BathtimeFunkster · 04/07/2015 14:55

It's going to take months if not years for me to believe him. I'm going to ride it out and do my own thing in the meantime.

You still have time to live your dream of more children and a big, noisy house with a happy marriage at its centre.

But you don't have time to waste on this wanker who "steers" you, who needs counselling to deal with the disappointment of ending up with you, who takes food from his child's mouth, who obviously only came back and started the latest round of being "broken" (Hmm - seriously, how can you believe this knowing he did it before while he was plan in the holiday he wishes he was on right now?) after his girlfriend told him to fuck off when he came back to her.

He's hedging that even if it doesn't work out with you, a serious attempt at your marriage will bring her running back. That's his best chance. She wasn't interested in him as your sloppy seconds.

BloodontheTracks is right. No more waiting to see. Make a decision about your own life now.

Stop letting him run your life for you.

BloodontheTracks · 04/07/2015 15:00

I'm being deliberately tough, obviously. You can do this, Tom, whichever way you want to go you CAN DO THIS. Just make sure you go the way you truly know you have to go. In your core, What would your best self do? You are very strong and kind and funny and a wonderful mother. Honestly that's clear just from this thread. The fact you are so drawn to comforting him when he's sad, even though his sadness it totally self-imposed. You loved him. And your love is worth a lot. Think carefully where you want to put it. We will be here for you whatever. You get to decide what your life is. You get to.

Christinayanglah · 04/07/2015 15:31

Tom

He may be dancing again, it doesn't mean you have to join in

Enough of his bullshit, every time you get strong he comes along and confuses you

Divorce him, move on, get a new life. This will keep dragging on for you and will be exhausting. Every time you sway back to him slightly you will lose a little bit of yourself. This man has reached an all time low, having an affair whilst trying to get you pregnant and then arranging a holiday with ow whilst supposedly trying to work things out with you....do you realise how screwed up this man is?

Get out x

FantasticButtocks · 04/07/2015 15:36

If he has a radical transformation gosh, are you still holding out hope that this may actually happen? Hmm

just trudge on ahead assuming its just dd and me for now Sounds defeatist and a bit vague. Are you wanting to get back together and have another baby with him?

What was his explanation about why he emptied the joint account?

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