brokenhearted55
Yup. I think a lot of it is something that triggers an irrational competitive edge. Like if you try hard enough you can "win" and make him want you.
But often men that provoke limerence are narcissist types - good at mirroring the ideal man for that woman, hot and cold, masters of manipulation.
It's very self destructive because you end up thinking there is something wrong with you because the chemistry is so intense, your time together is so perfect - but still he doesn't want you.
It's a form of addiction to something that gives you a high.
I read an interesting thing about men like this that likened them to a narcotic drug.
It was along the lines of:
you know what a drug will do to you. you know you make think you can take it or leave it. but you will become addicted. and each time you take it it becomes harder to break away. eventually you will become a shell of your former self.
but there is no point blaming the drug. it's just a drug. it has no good or bad properties either way any more than a gun just lying there does. it's what you chose to do with that causes the problem.
you knew what the score was but you chose to take it anyway. every time.