Does anyone know much about limerence or ever experienced it?

[OneOutOneIn]

It's something I've been reading about recently as I suspect I'm experiencing it with a particular evasive ex but I wonder if the truth is just to get a grip?

I commented under my old name early on in this thread,broken your posts are so scarily familiar.
My story is too long to tell but suffice to say,I feel a mug to feel this way about someone who is so obviously not worth it.

In a very short(weeks)relationship,left me to go back to ex,back and for between us for months,couldn't make up his mind.

Went NC for weeks,then months,turning up for sex,sometimes just talked for hours.in between though I was insane missing him.
This has been 7 years now and 2 weeks ago after no contact for nearly a year,he turns up,end up in bed and then nothing again since,he passed me in the street last Thursday and just waved like I was an acquaintance.

He will torture me until the day I die I think as I've had relationship and a child since and still can't move on

The only thing to do iwant is block, wipe and delete. But hey you know this as well as I do....

I can't seem to do it.

What's the hook yours has you on??

For me it's the technicolour experience of being with him. It's just .... Crazy.
I can't take my eyes off of him.

It's just everything,he cannot do no wrong in my eyes unfortunately,on sane days I know he's a dick,but if I see him it all goes out the window.

Because we were friends for a little while before we got together and we just clicked it was very intense from the start.

It's not even the sex I miss,it's spending time together,talking for hours,just being in his company.he on the other hand is all about the sex,swinging etc,he's bi polar too.

I have this fantasy that when we are old and grey he'll come back to me and I'll be enough.

My mum lived across the road from him for years,that's how we met, I moved into the street a few years back just to be close to him,but being that close and not seeing him made it worse and I moved after 18 months.

My mum moved from the street 2 years ago.

He moved 6 doors away from my mum a month ago,so whenever I'm at mums I'm on pins he'll turn up because she says he pops in a lot.

There really is no getting away from him and the thing is I live for the moments I may see him,I'm pathetic

Ha. A lot of these LO's are kinky aren't they. Mine is.

Mine also asked me to come and retire with him (in his beautiful house in a beautiful place). To marry him in another country so that we can be married in some way...... All fairy tales. Because he then blows up and runs away --until the next time & he lures me back. Again. I am a pathetic fool.

It's sucks.

In this entire thread only one poster ended up with their LO.

And that was only because the limerence was mutual.

I have also fantasized about dying and coming back as a ghost so I can haunt him(be with him)constantly.

I am a normal functioning mum of two ffs

Broken,honestly I cannot think before him.

It sucks.

In this entire thread only one poster ended up with their LO

I'm so mightily relieved I didn't end up with mine and gave myself the chance to find actual, real, love instead.

I know deep down in my deepest,sanest self that it would never ever work out with my LO.

It doesn't help that I've never loved another man,I was always the one who broke things off,didn't get sentimental,emotional or attached,until him.

I was with a lovely bloke for a short while in my twenties,he's the only man I've met that was genuine,no games,treated me really well,he told me he loved me.
I just felt really suffocated by the attention he gave me,felt tied down even though we didn't see that much of each other.
I didn't lead him on and ended it pretty quickly as I knew I didn't feel the same.
I do sometimes wish I had felt the same,he has since married and treats his wife so well and they have such a lovely life.

Instead I obsess over a man I know is all wrong for me and has basically caused me mental anguish for 7 years.

Sorry I have posted in wrong place and don't know how to delete x

My LO is the opposite of what I look for in a man. If we were together, I would never trust him.

I have different feelings towards my LO, one part of me wants him badly and other part me thinks he is a fucking bastard.

The part that wants him badly outweighs the other part. When I am with him, it is like I forget about the bad parts, I even forgive him having sex with other women

Instead I obsess over a man I know is all wrong for me

This is exactly what I do

Tonight, I'm so tired of the bullshit, the lies, the hot/cold, the distance. The sheer fucking impossibility of it all.
I've really had it. I'm exhausted, sad, sick and tired. My mental health is suffering again. I'm not eating. I'm drinking too much. My work is suffering. I'm hiding from everything. Friends, family. I don't want to plan anything, go anywhere, see anyone.

FOR WHAT??!!!! An illusion. A stupid trick of the mind.

I am so so sick of this. I wish to god I'd never set eyes on him.

A good friend of mine (who knew my LO and has no time for him) told me I was ruining my life over this pathetic excuse of a narc, and that he (friend) couldn't watch it any more.

He is right

I've got to stop this. I have to clean my brain of this obsession.

Can any of us remember what our lives were like before we knew these guys existed?

Oh yes.

My LO asked me out on a date within a week of us meeting and about two years before anything happened between us.

The would be hysterical if it weren't so tragic truth is that I said no, because I wasn't interested and I remember thinking he was punching above his weight even thinking I would be interested in someone like him.

Now, even though I'm no contact and rationally understand he is evil, I still think he is like a God of Perfection.

I know deep down in my deepest,sanest self that it would never ever work out with my LO.
So do I. He is SO wrong for me.

Yes. I agree with this too. In my case, he is a nasty piece of work - in the sense that he is utterly ruthless, totally self centred and doesn't care about anyone but himself. And maybe his children but only insofar as they are an extension of him. He would never offer care or compassion to anyone unless he had something to gain. The idea that he might bring you a cup of tea in bed or soup if you were ill or that kind of caring activity which is part of a normal supportive relationship is just a joke. He'd be out the door looking to find someone to f*ck who was healthy.

Those qualities make him quite go getting and admirable in some ways. He is super successful in the way that many sociopaths are.

But it is utterly unsuitable for a partner in a long term relationship.

Still mentally obsessed with him though.

self, same re the God Of Perfection. I nearly collapsed the first time we looked at each other. It was the same for him.

NC now for 5 miserable days.

Day 6 tomorrow.

Onward.

Re: God of Perfection.

I've never told anyone this before in real life as it sounds so crazy because it is- but when we were "seeing each other", I was once about to cross a street near work and I saw him walking with a group of work colleagues on the other side of the road. It was late on a Friday and I assume they were going to the pub.

The road was a wide, busy traffic street so he didn't see me and it was too far to call out to him.

His colleagues were all in dark suits and he was wearing jeans and a white shirt. It was a very sunny day and the sun was behind him so as he crossed in front of my line of vision and as he walked away, his bright white shirt and his hair caught the sun.

I was utterly transfixed. I literally stood there watching him walk into the distance thinking that in that moment he looked like a God or an angel. It was heightened as he was amongst the dark suited boring people he was with. I honestly thought he was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen.

Standing there it seemed like he was bathed in light.

Yeah I know. It's really dumb. Part of me wishes that I could meet someone who'd feel like that about me. But another part of me realises that is unsustainable -and utterly bonkers.

doesn't begin to cover it.

Ohhhhh self I understand that..... Too well.

Some quotes I came across last night:

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option"

Mark Twain

"You can't give your heart to a wild thing"

Truman Capote

"Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go"

Oprah Winfrey

I like these.... Now to just live by these wise words.....