Does anyone know much about limerence or ever experienced it?

[OneOutOneIn]

It's something I've been reading about recently as I suspect I'm experiencing it with a particular evasive ex but I wonder if the truth is just to get a grip?

I remember reading a light hearted article about being involved with people with NPD that was about advantages and disadvantages.

One of the advantages was "hey - you found a new hobby. Researching NPD."

That was so me. Honestly, there's nothing I don't know about NPD. I seriously think I could convince a psychiatrist at a drinks party that I am a psychiatrist with a specialism in NPD (provided not quizzed about any other element of psychiatry).

It really was a whole "hobby."

He said he had missed me, he didn't mention at all that I had been NC with him for weeks.

He is asking me to go away for the weekend with him. The conversation quickly turned sexual.

Looking at his Facebook page, he was away with another woman just a week ago and before that he was staying with a different woman

Previously he wanted a relationship with me, now he wants to be friends who have sex

I don't feel as mesmerised by him as I did before but I do feel confused. I am not sure I am happy to be there just for sex

Don't do it! Been in that kind of siutation before, just makes you feel cheap afterwards, especially the fact that you can see he has been with two other women (at least) just recently - why should it be all about him?! I hate the whole thing with men, that they think they can dangle a number of different women and we are wondering what we've done wrong and why they haven't been in contact - I would say no, make him feel insecure for a change! Play him at his own game.

I am back to where I was before. My days and nights are spent anxiously clutching my phone waiting for messages and phone calls from him.

Every message and word he says is analysed. The anxiety I feel between hearing from him is awful. I feel so down and long for the highs for when I hear from him

I can't enjoy anything that is without him

He said he had missed me, he didn't mention at all that I had been NC with him for weeks.

My experience is that this is very typical with narc types. They never mention the AWOL periods and just expect to pick up where they left off.

I read somewhere that people with NPD have a different relationship with time than other people. So because once you have been in a relationship with them they mentally consider you as their permenant property FOR EVER. They assume (often correctly) that you are so worshipping of their wonderment that no matter what they have done with a little bit of charm, they will get you back in 5minutes. Also 5 months in their world is like a few days - because they have this weird attitude to their harem.

I remember reading a light hearted article about being involved with people with NPD that was about advantages and disadvantages

One of the advantages was "hey - you found a new hobby. Researching NPD."

That was so me. Honestly, there's nothing I don't know about NPD

Ha SelfLoathing so very true, this is me too. There literally isnt an article i havent read on the main 2 websites about NPD & Psychopathy.

It makes me feel better in some ways - it clearly wasnt me, it was him - but not sure how much I'm really getting over it by keeping it fresh in my mind all the time.

Just read this whole thread again in its entirety. It's a consolation to know there are other people here that really understand this madness for what it is.
Hope you're all doing ok and for violator

So many similarities/checkpoints in all these posts

One that struck me was a post by WhatTheActual where she said her LO got a tattoo symbolic of their relationship. My LO and I are not into tattoos, but last time we met, (a few weeks ago) he asked me to mark his body permanently. He wants me to scar him. I can't get this out of my head.

Another poster (sorry I don't know your name - I think it was a male poster) said getting over this is on a parr with getting over a death. This rang very true for me. That's exactly what it's like. I've done just that with this man before, and I don't think I can do it again.

I haven't heard from my LO for a few days. We argued over the phone, so I suppose I'm being punished now. I'm fine with it. The space is good actually....

Wishing everyone well

Honestly now, if I had had access to it and saw those things on his Facebook, I'd screen shot the evidence and send them to him and ask him whats up. When I found evidence my LO had seen another....I asked him. I would ask in these circumstances

I can't challenge him about it. He pursued me heavily saying he wanted to be in a relationship with me, I agreed. He fast lost the thrill of the chase after I had sex with him. He changed things saying he just wants to be friends who have sex. I had fallen in love with him by this stage. Now he keeps me dangling, he likes that I have fallen for him but he is free to have sex with other women. It is actually humiliating but I don't seem to able to tell him to fuck off out of my life

because they have this weird attitude to their harem

My LO does have a harem

I have turned into someone else. I always thought I had self respect and why wondered why some women put up with this shit. Here I am hanging on to his every word, thinking perhaps I can change him and make him want to be with just me and no one else

I know it's never going to happen ....

I think my mistake is misinterpretation, he said he missed me. I took this as he cares about me

But then asks me to perform a sexual act a day later after weeks and weeks of NC

He didn't miss ME at all

He then talks about his profiles on dating websites

I know when he goes quiet on me, he is with other women, chatting and flirting and more with them

He will be back though when they fizzle out, I sit here like a mug, accepting everything he does, not saying anything, never challenging him because he took that away from me when he said he just wanted to be friends

brokenhearted that was sad to read but I can see my own situation more clearly now and my LO is doing. Thank you for sharing, especially the text he sent to you. Got something very similar myself

That is what I am failing to do, I oblige rather than tell him to fuck off

I need to think he is using me rather than that he actually cares about me

With my LO, I get mixed up about what it is, he says we are just friends with sex. But then he likes to chat to me and share things with me, it isn't all about sex. It hurts me that he can separate sex from feelings, I can't do that

I can relate broken

And I'd have taken up that invite, I would have been euphoric and really turned on ...

keeping The line my one uses is not the "friends" one, he knows well that one wouldn't work, but rather that we mustn't rush things, and that I must be patient. That's how he controls the contact he measures out.
Usually backed up by some incredible insight into who I am and why I behave the way I do. Nobody got me like this guy. It's like he can see inside me. He observes everything about me and remembers everything.

Thank you again everyone for your thoughts on this thread. It's giving me some strength.

So much of this makes me wonder if any of us were dealing with the same man!

broken my mind is boggling at what on earth your LO might have done...

I know my LO has also done some very dodgy things in the past, things no decent man would do - either to himself or to someone else. Really what he did was exploit himself. He used himself to try to get something, which initially made me laugh at his audacity, followed by a vague sense of horror - and now I feel sad about it, for him.
Don't get me wrong - nobody died or was permanently damaged by what he did - but it illustrated clearly that his boundaries are (were?) fucked up, and that he doesn't like himself deep down.

Maybe that's true for me too.

self I think you are bang on the money - lots of NPD's around.

5 days now NC (from him)

Hanging tuff here ....

Sent you a message broken