Desperately Trying to Move On - My Divorce from Mr WT Part 3 - It's Nearly OVER!

[TheFormidableMrsC]

I am so grateful to all of those who have followed and supported me throughout this bloody ordeal! I hope this will be the last one.one and it will be over very soon! Thread 1 : www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2030270-PLEASE-HELP-DESPERATE-AND-AWFUL-DIVORCE?
Thread 2 : www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2137545-Whos-Desperate-and-Awful-Now-Story-of-My-Divorce-from-Mr-WT-Part-2

Ha ha Hobbit, we're both double posting!!! Thank you, bless Jess, she is too cute .

Thanks AmI, I really appreciate your quiet support .

Goddess to be fair I do actually have all his wordly goods except the clothes he had to buy due to huge weight gain. I am sure he has lots of gadgets and he definitely has a new bed, but other than that...nope, he has nothing.

So it's not worth a punt on a few of those 'acceptance guaranteed' cheap life insurance schemes? Shame.

Never mind, if he pops his clogs in a penniless state you'll still be able to bar the old slapper non-fragrant Pauline from his pauper's funeral.

Mediation has always been a bit puzzling to me. Those who 'need' it are usually those in which one party (or both) are uncooperative to begin with so is there really any good to someone sitting with them (or running back and forth) shaking an index finger saying 'Play nice'? I'm sure most officials can look at someone like Mr WT and see that he's not going to be cooperative. MrsC could probably offer him exactly what he wants and he'll still cross his arms, purse his lips and say 'NO!', just to be contrary. So why put MrsC through it, even if it is in a separate room?

My divorce was simple. No children, no assets. Only one 'bump' where he threatened to sue for support. That was stressful enough that, years later, I told now DH when he proposed that he'd better be damn sure, because the only way out of our marriage for him would be in a pine box because I wasn't going through another divorce!

Look at my new phone case, Mrsc, they get everywhere don't they!
KOKO lovely lady, x

MrsC I am also de-lurking to say "bloody well done so far". I have read your story from the begining to now and your strength lovely lady is simply amazing! I wish you and your DC all the love and luck in the world for the future you all so richly deserve.

www.graphics99.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/pineapple-make-your-eyes.png

It makes you very short sighted.

Well, at least we have a valid explanation now for finding these twats attractive in the first place!

Despite having DC my divorce was fairly simple, given the laws where I lived, the lack of assets and that X had arranged his life so that he had no time to argue as his new wife was refusing to be wifely until she had a ring on it. (He went for someone who shared his religious upbringing, and the poor dear didnt realise he was married with children until after the invitations had been sent. Then, naturally, she bought the story of me trapping himand thought it safe to carry on. In due course, she realised her error.) anyway, as you said, I told now DH when he proposed that he'd better be damn sure, because the only way out of our marriage for him would be in a pine box because I wasn't going through another divorce!

All these years on though, I retract that. I wouldnt do that to my son. I would like to think we could be sensible about it, if it came to that. But you never really know, do you?

Evening all, goodness I have just sat down at this time! Busy day .

Goddess...noooo, wooden boxes are no longer my responsibility, thank goodness..!!

Hobbit, hope you're OK, I know it's a tough day for you. I promise that bit gets easier. Hoping that I won't have to face another wedding anniversary this year although it would have been 15 years. Anniversaries are cancelled out on divorce...will never think about it again after that. It does make me sad though, we had such a fab wedding, two weeks before Christmas, close friends only, loads of fun and a lovely hotel on our wedding night where we ate kebabs and drank champagne sat on the bed! We were so happy, never had an inkling then that I'd married a hideous man who would break his vows so soon. I am proud to say that I never did, I meant the "forsaking all others" bit...he must have had his fingers crossed behind his back. Still, onwards and upwards. Hope you and Jess had a peaceful evening . Oh and not forgetting the phone case, brilliant!! Although Weebirdie puts another spin on it!

DeliberatelyDreaming, thank you for de-lurking and posting such kind words, I SO appreciate it .

Across, I really am skeptical about mediation, probably because my experience was so negative. I am not really sure what he wants to mediate for. His solicitor didn't comment on that. However, it won't keep anything out of court, that's for sure. I have long been preparing myself for that. Hope you're OK and your brother is doing OK? x

So, I bought a bike. It was cheap and I have already punctured a tyre but did DS and I have fun today!! Mr WT inexplicably put an extra £50.00 of maintenance in my account, must have had a fit of guilt trying to save face. Anyway, I decided that as my son likes cycling so much I would spend that on a bike and we could do it together. Actually, back to maintenance, he pays me £150.00 a month, having agreed and indeed volunteered to pay £300.00 which is rather more realistic given I am currently reliant on state benefits because of him. He halved it out of spite to pay for his OW, latest child, flying lessons, knickers. This works out at just short of £4.00 per day. I am sure I have mentioned this in my previous thread. WTF does he think that covers? There was a thread on here recently where the new partner was complaining about her DP having to pay £150.00 a month maintenance and she was roundly lambasted by MN'ers absolutely everybody who said "what do you think that pays for"? Anyway, I digress....

So, DS and I have had a brilliant day, we have cycled for miles, we did a mountain bike track with lumps and bumps and jumps, we've been to the post office, we did a bit of shopping, we did the school run there and back (twice) and all without using my car! When I bought the bike I partly thought I could reduce the car usage as it's a decent car and quite new but I am struggling to afford to run it. It's a gas guzzler. So I am hoping new bike will make me use it less and save me a fortune in fuel that I can't really afford. It means I can use it for short journeys and get some extra exercise at the same time. The icing on the cake was somebody shouting at me "nice arse"!! Ha ha! Not bad for 45 . I have to say, I do quite like my arse, so did ex-twunt, he couldn't leave it alone. So, just have to sort out puncture tomorrow and will be back on the road. I think I am roaring with endorphins this evening!

KOKO everybody

Momagain...that is actually a really sad story...what a tangled web they weave...

The icing on the cake was somebody shouting at me "nice arse"!! Ha ha! Not bad for 45

FUCK. OFF.

I have seen you and there is no way you are 45!!!

I now officially hate you :o

Dear Pauline

I realise it must be hard for you to read the truth about the man that you have claimed as you own, but really love, you need to get a hobby!

I know that MrsC will always be a very important part of your life, given that she is your lovers wife and the mother of his child. But it isnt healthy for your to obsess about her so much! I cant help wondering why she is such a big part of your life when you should be enjoying the honeymoon period with the prize you fought so hard to win.

Move on love, yeah?

BF :)

Oh love, thanks for asking. Brother is doing very well. He's attending his classes (alcohol/addiction education) and counseling. I can see him making attempts to come out of his self-imposed 'isolating' and a new ability to accept kindnesses from others. We've been at the sea in our caravan this week (home tomorrow) and he came and stayed with us two days. He was cheerful and had a good time relaxing and hiking. Before he'd never accept hospitality (even from his sister) as he didn't like to feel 'beholden'. DH asked him if it bothered him if he (DH) drank a beer and DB said 'not at all'.

The bike sounds brilliant. I picture you and DS (and your lovely arse) pedaling about with the wind blowing through your silky locks and tousling DS's curls. Do promise me that you have/will put a wicker basket with some flowers and a bottle of wine on the front. It completes the picture!

Across I am so pleased to hear that as I am sure others on this thread will be as we all know you've had some shit to deal with. Progress indeed! Let's hope he continues on this path...although I know how tough it must be for all of you.

Ha, we did pedal through the wind and a rather hot day for us in the UK (about 80 degrees, we are not used to this heat!). I think I might have silky locks although they were in a bunch on top of my head! DS on the other hand does not have curls, he has his father's (very blessed) hair, thick and long and blonde (twunt is no longer blonde but does have a fine head of hair just an awful cut now due to OW messing with it, it was much better when he just went to the barbers)...but DS's hair receives many compliments despite being an unholy mess due to his hatred of it being touched. I am planning to get a basket! Realised today that I will probably need one instead of carrier bags hanging off the handles. I so enjoyed it! I did have a bike before, new and not very much used but twunt took it and sold it I think (he said he threw it away)...despite me asking for it back. However, I don't care now, loving my new bike (just need to sort the puncture!!).

:)

Bogey, I do aspire to that...but it was more like this....

MrsC I am relieved your DD hasn't started her A'levels yet - even if it will make things a bit rushed.
I would suggest posting on the SN area to double check what LAs are like before firmly picking an area. For instance after a few horror stories I've heard I would be reluctant to move to Scotland, excepting maybe the big cities. As sometimes the schools, GPs and other health care professionals seem to operate a bit of a closed shop, and if they don't support you can make things awkward.
You could also post on the education areas to try to get a feel for places that might offer the course your DD needs (NC is always an option).

The bike sounds like money very well spent.

That was a fab day MrsC.

Oh MrsC - you'll have a bestseller out of this by the end! Bloody idiot man, what on earth does he really hope to achieve? So delusional!

Sounds like you had a blast on your bike, fantastic! and yes, cycling is everso good for your gluteals.

Very good idea from mummytime to post on the SN boards re. LA provision for your DS before you move, as well as maybe on the education boards for A level help for your DD? Although I expect you can get that info online without too much difficulty, whereas the SN info is a bit harder to get hold of.

Many and to you - you're doing fabulously well and KOKO!

You know, in RL I've had to be 'the strong one' in my brother's situation. I know I've derailed here a bit, but it's been like sitting in MrsC's front room with friends and being able to 'offload' a bit. And then the conversation turns to other things so I can 'catch my breath'. So and to MrsC and all for the support and prayers.

You know, MrsC and WWK, Thumb has a brilliant idea! The two of you should really take your individual stories, pick incidents here and there, combine them, and write a 'beach book'. You know, the kind of juicy 'she thinks everything's peachy, divorce shit hits the fan, revenge is taken, she lives happily every after with someone sooo much better than the dungbucket who did her wrong' story that we all love to relax on the beach with.

You may need to wait awhile, until the bad feelings have settled, but you'd defo have a bestseller.

Interesting idea you got there Across....

Isn't it...WWK...?

oooooooh a bonkbuster

And she lay there, replete with pina colada, and whispered breathlessly, having huffed and puffed on a fag, and said knowingly,

"what a fucking arse," As a handyman cursed, hitched up his not deliberately low slung poorly fitting trousers and swore his way around the neighbour's decking, pondering exactly what he had to do to live in such a life of luxury that one could afford to lounge ludicrously lazily in a state of total idleness

"Oh, sharrupaya face" the posh bird interjected, too comatose to really have a flipping clue, her badly backcombed, frazzled, bottle-blond hair catching in her throat causing her to gag..."and pass me some more of that pineapple shite", she demanded. "It not 'alf makes you smell nice", she complimented her friend.

..."no! What a fucking arse: he's only gone an posted some drunk shite on my thread"

"Crikey? Does he not realise women have brains?"

..."no".

..."shit! - We'd better tell him - he's going to get lynched...".

And in the distance, the sound of 'nee-naw, nee-naw, nee-naw' carried on as a small child avidly watched a special feature length of "Peppa Pig gets to ride in an £1-a-go-ambulance at Tescos" being shown on Nickelodean for the third time this week.

I haven't stopped laughing at this...WWK you're the funniest woman I know . There was Bob thinking we were going to get a bonkbuster!!! Ha ha!