Desperately Trying to Move On - My Divorce from Mr WT Part 3 - It's Nearly OVER!

[TheFormidableMrsC]

I am so grateful to all of those who have followed and supported me throughout this bloody ordeal! I hope this will be the last one.one and it will be over very soon! Thread 1 : www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2030270-PLEASE-HELP-DESPERATE-AND-AWFUL-DIVORCE?
Thread 2 : www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2137545-Whos-Desperate-and-Awful-Now-Story-of-My-Divorce-from-Mr-WT-Part-2

There's a Doobie Brothers song that I think speaks the truth for those of us who have been deceived and have probably ignored the red flags. Now, I'm not calling us 'fools' but I think the gist is true;

"What a fool believes he sees,
no wise man has the power to reason away.
What seems to be is always better than nothing,
than nothing at all."

It's so much easier (and human nature) to ignore warning signs when we think we have what we want. No one wants to see the cracks in the 'happily ever after' or a behavioural problem with their 'little darling'. But yet, life has a way of waking us up, doesn't it?

I still believe that, in the end, if we are honest and live fearlessly we will look back on the rain and we will only see the rainbow.

A mistake isn't a mistake if you learn from it, then it becomes experience.

You will trust again, but because of your experience it will be someone that you know you can really trust because you wont jump straight in. And a man you can really trust wont expect you to do anything else.

Across xx

Bogey, you're right of course, but I do wonder how I come to terms with wasting 14, well it will be 16 years of my life on this waste of oxygen by the time this is all over. If it was all so awful, why on earth didn't he leave years ago, he could have gone off with OW when we had only be married a couple of years because she was single and she asked him to leave me even then. I just think stealing somebodys life like that is cruel beyond description.

I really don't want to have a relationship again, I really don't. I am quite enjoying playing the field a bit and it doesn't affect the kids in any way. At least I can hold my head up in that respect unlike others.

Anyway, I should stop being maudlin and we decided tonight that the next time we find a box of pictures, we'll just put them back. Much easier .

I was thinking today that it's the first day of the summer hols and I have heard the word "mum" about 10 million times. How do you cope?! x

How do I cope?

Sky+
A gross of Rocket Lollies
Gin

xxxxx

I may or may not plug myself into my Ipod .

Ha ha Bogey and Clutterbug....I am going to try all of those

No, not gin, I take that back. What made me try gin when we met up. Never again. I fell off my bike

I heard about that Mrs, what bothers me is that you were on the bus at the time :o

Ha ha! Bus?! What is one of them? . Never ever again will I wear a dress on a bike having drunk gin. Lesson learned and scars to prove it. Fab night though!

I was thinking today that it's the first day of the summer hols and I have heard the word "mum" about 10 million times. How do you cope?!

Easy. l told them l had changed my name and didn't tell them what it was

Brilliant!!!

Oh now, Ladies! Sooner than you know, you'll be looking back and thinking what you'd give to hear 'Mum, Mum, Mum' just one more time.

My mum (and later on, I) posted a list of jobs needing doing on the fridge the first day of vacation. We (and my kids) learned NEVER to say "I'm bored" or "There's nothing to do" very quickly!

Ahhh Across, you're right, except for me I am going to be 60 when DD is 18 and I suspect he will still be doing "Mum mum mum" even then.....

I thought that this would be a good time to say that I plan to let you all know what happens on Friday in court, I plan to also let you all know what happens on Sunday when I answer bail but after that I am going to let my threads "zombie". I hadn't realised what a significant impact writing my "diary" on here would have on my "RL" and I have apparently upset somebody very significant in my life without meaning to do so and certainly without any intention of harm.

I have to slip back into anonymity because the cost and consequences have been too great. I have had an absolutely horrendous day today, and realise that the kids and I have to get on with things on our own. I love posting here. It's been my lifeline and early on, actually saved my life, things were that bad. Things remain bad and I have tried so so so hard to rebuild my life but am admittedly struggling to do so. I do wish that "people" in general would realise that unless you have been through something like this, you can't just "move on", you can't just think "wow, I've had a lucky escape" even though I know I have, serial cheats are always going to be the same. I wish husband and OW once stopped to think about the impact on us rather than the impact on them...but they never will.

Many of you have become RL friends or FB friends and that has been truly lovely. Anybody who wishes to stay in touch in that way, or via e-mail, would be welcome to do so, please PM me. I value you all, you've all been absolutely amazing and such a huge support to me and indeed my children, especially DD, who loves a good MN spat!!

Gosh, this sounds a bit dramatic doesn't it? KOKO

MrsC I think that the amount of support you have had on here is testimony to the fact that you are a lovely, warm, genuine human being who has gone through (and is still going through) a torrid time. I am sorry you think you have upset someone and hope you can sort things out. Only those of us going through the agony that is divorce with all it's fallout can truly understand it and all that accompanies it. Good luck for Friday and Sunday

I have no idea who you have upset but I am struggling to understand how it is you have managed to upset them to much? After all you have been through and, as you yourself have said, MN has literally been your life saver, who could find fault with that? Who would have a problem with you finding support here? Ah well. The decision is yours to make.

I've been following your thread for a while, not posted often (name changer here) but I have been silently cheering you on and I wish you well in the future.

I'm glad that your STBXH and his disgrace of the OW found this thread and know what the majority of us here at MN think of them. :)

Sorry to hear that MrsC. I haven't had much to offer on here, except and the occasional .
I wish you and your family continued strength, and every happiness. You bloody deserve it!

MrsC I think you're very wise to slip back into anonymity. With the comfort of knowing that MNers will be here if needed again in the future, under any name for any reason :)

On a trivial note, I did weekly shop today and had written "pineapple something" on the list so I wouldn't forget! Have ended up with pineapple jam - does that count? And is it in the spirit of solidarity if I eat some today while the French bread is fresh, or should I hold off til tomorrow and have it on toast instead? I say trivial but these considerations are important in their own way.

So sorry you feel you need to slip away. But understand completely that it's very important to maintain our RL relationships. In the end, MN may be a true source of comfort, but it's our RL family/friends who will be in the best position to support us.

You and the others on this thread were a great comfort to me when my brother went 'off the rails' recently and I want to thank all again. I know we'll meet on other threads.

Looking forward to your final 'report' and have celebratory pineapple waiting.

Very sorry to hear that someone has been upset by your threads, MrsC - dare we suppose how that someone got to hear about them?

But since it has happened, I don't at all blame you for wishing to slip back into anonymity once you've updated - and wish you well in the future. We're all still here should you need us, you just need to shout out.

And you're still a . :)

You have to do what you have to do, MrsC. See you on FB!

I've lurked in all three of your threads, and wish you all the best on the rest of this hopefully short journey. And I shall never look at a pineapple again without thinking of your threads and wishing you and your children well.

Another lurker here, I have followed your threads. As well as receiving supoport on this thread you have also given support on many others, thank you. I wish you and your family well in the future.
KOKO

see you soon l hope with your beautiful DC's !!!!

What Feck said! Whatever happens, good luck, all will eventually work out for you and your babies. Really sorry you've gone through so much, but please come back one day to let us know you are all well.