Feminism - but is there some truth in the stereotype of gender roles?

[loveyoumore2]

I understand that feminism has its place, 100%. The way women are treated in some parts of the world, (and I will agree), in the western world to an extent, is wrong. And feminism is needed to that effect.

What I can't get my head around is that on some level, generally speaking, I believe women are more suited to the stereotypical 'woman's jobs,' and likewise, men are suited to their jobs. I embrace the fact that I am the one staying at home and look after my kids while my husband works (and this is coming from someone who has a very successful career and earned pretty much the same as my husband). I love cooking his dinner and cleaning the house. I don't feel oppresed. I am also attracted to my husbnad because he embraces his stereotypical male role of the breadwinner. I feel proud of my role as a women and I am proud that it differs from my husband's general role.

I know that the point of feminism is that everyone should be free to do what they want, male or female, and that men, if they want, should have the right to stay home with the kids.

But does anyone agree that on some basic level, instinctive almost, that for the majority of people (again, not all), that women do have women desires that are typical of a women, and the same for men?

ie. women are generally better at cleaning and tidying and naturally take the reigns, men prefer heavy lifting and DIY, women will be more motherly with kids than men, etc. NB. I know this is not always the case, but I am speaking generally. I believe stereotypes in this instance, are based on natural differences between men and women that we will never get away from. (Again stressing that there are exceptions).

I can see you're both in this to be as obnoxious, unpleasant and spiteful as humanly possible

Seriously?

That's known as a wtf moment.

Do you mean "considered by current UK societal norms to be boyish", rather than being inherently suitable/of interest for boys? Or do you actually mean that an interest in films is just for boys?

I don't see how laurief and Twinklestein have been obnoxious, unpleasant and spiteful - just questioning and occasionally confused.

I think the problem is that the OP is extrapolating from her own experiences and preferences, and assuming that "most" other women are like her. Even that it is "natural" to be like her.

The trouble with that, OP, is that many women don't share your views. I would hate the kind of life that you describe, cooking and cleaning while my DH was responsible for "looking after" us. I respect your right to choose such a life, but there is nothing about wanting to arrange life in that way that seems particularly natural to me at all.

kampeki My post was essentially querying whether or not there is some truth in stereotypes. I believe that there is, to an extent.

That doesn't mean that I feel women need to stay defined to these roles! I believe everyone should have choice to do what they please, male or female.

I was merely wondering if there was some instinctive qualities that ARE stereotyped simply because they are natural to each gender.

While I appreciate the views of social conditioning, I am still suggesting that as an adult who IS free to do what I like...my H wouldnt object to me having full time work again, or passing over the cleaning to him etc...I choose not to because it doesnt FEEL natural to me. Many people are saying here that it's just me..maybe so, but I know many people IRL who feel the same, and despite social conditioning, now when they really consider their options, they still naturally want to stick to those things that society perceives as 'more feminine.'

Soo pleased you turned up again OP as I'm curious to know why did you put this in Relationships and not Feminism?
Is it more about your relationship with your H, hence Relationships?

Whether women are generally inclined or suited to some things and men to others or not is irrelevant. No woman should have obstacles put in her way for doing something traditionally 'masculine', and nor should men have obstacles for doing something traditionally 'feminine'.

I didn't know there was a feminism place to discuss it! :/

My dad taught me to thread and use a complicated ancient sewing machine. Not because he had new-fangled ideas about gender but because he knew how to use it, my mother never learned, and I wanted to.

sheba that's not what I.m saying, though. I agree on that point.

I'm wondering if anything is more natural to one than the other...the stereotypes must have come from somewhere.

Right-o OP.
Interesting first post, but welcome to MN

why is it a problem, can these things not be discussed?

the stereotypes must have come from somewhere

Yeah - men.

Some women might feel happy and fulfilled doing the domestic chores but please do not think for one second that this is 'natural' because they are a woman. It's clearly bullshit and many, many women hate doing it. There's no need to try to justify your free choice to do it to other people. Just do what you want to do. And be honest with yourself.

twinklestein - yeah - men.

that's my exact point, really.

Why have they come from men?!

There's plenty of things that men do that they would probably rather not.

Your post pretty much sums up why I find feminism so frustrating and hypocritical. Your post makes feminists sound like a load of whining women.

There's plenty of things that men do that they would probably rather not

Well that doesn't sound like they're acting on their natural instinct then, does it?

No, it doesn't. But the fact that it's the fault of men for the stereotypes? Don't quite buy that one, either, sorry.

OP- no, these things can be discussed - probably some of us have done it a few times too often

Farnesworth, I don't think anyone was trying to be rude to you. It seemed like a fairly even give and take of thoughts to me tbh. As to the films - well, my DD wouldn't have liked those at all at 5 but now she and her friends go to the Marvel films , was talking about watching all the Star Wars films one day in the hols (but obviously trek is better). You may be a tad premature.

No, it doesn't

So you've answered the question you asked in your OP.

If you consider there to be a patriarchy (or even for a patriarchy to have existed up until the 21st century), then it is fairly obvious that these stereotypes benefit those with power in the patriarchy. Perhaps that's a less whiney way of putting it?

Can you tell me how you think feminists should discuss inequality without sounding "whiney" to you?

i don't think they can, culture

i think it's hypocritical of feminists to blame men for the stereotypes but then say that feminism is to benefit men, too? how does that add up?

yes, the world needs to be fairer between genders. but there are intrinsic things that are more 'womanly' and more 'manly.'

genders are different.

Ah the classic:

Man: Sexist comment
Woman: You made a sexist comment
Man: No I didn't!
Woman: Yes you did (quotes sexist comment verbatim)
Man: You misunderstood
Woman: Eh?
Man: You're a big meanie!

there are intrinsic things that are more 'womanly' and more 'manly'

Like cleaning? No.

So, love you, if a woman has no 'womanly' qualities, beyond the physical stuff, what does that mean? Is it the case that some women are 'womanly' and some are...'personly' or something?

How does that work? Well for sure feminism benefits those men who don't want to conform to your stereotypes!