HOBBIT'S BAR - Still finding it hard to move on .. Part 11

[Notlivingwithsemtexhoorah]

Welcome to Hobbit’s Bar, owned by Hobbit, open to all and run by anyone who wants the job!

This is the place to come if your marriage/relationship has come to an end and you are struggling to come to terms with this. It is a place to vent, swear, ask for advice,swear, relate to others in the same situation, swear, take a break, swear and have a laugh, whatever.

There are people in this bar at all stages of separation – just separated, negotiating, mediation, court, divorced - and all reasons for this, whether it is abuse, general breakdown, financial worries, OW/OM involved, or coming to terms with a new life.

It is a place to come to for support and swear a bit. You are never obliged to give support to others or reply to any posts. It is ALWAYS okay to say SHIT THIS IS HARD and swear alot and interrupt the giggles if you are having a tough time. No apology necessary for swearing. No one will have a go at you for what you are feeling and share on here. Divorce is a rollercoaster, we are all at different stages, so feel free to jump right in, oh and swear a bit more if you like.

Some glossary terms:

1. Jess is our mascot. Owned by Hobbit, she might do requests if there are enough sausages in it for her. Sorry, she's been joined by a pineapple and an Uzi in this 1st post for those who don't like firearms
2. Izzitinis are a revolting cocktail created by Izzie that only she drinks!
3. No 6’s are what we are/were married to, after Hobbit’s Twunts list. Some of us also have “pet” nicknames for our exes
4. KOKO – keep on keeping on (used a lot on here along with SHIT THIS IS HARD)
5. Ignore any exclamation marks posted by Izzie or Roz that might make their comments sounds a bit…dodgy. Something to do with their iPads having a mind of their own!
6. We all listen to WWK aka WellWhoKnew aka Mother who keeps us under control.
7. Random Guys feature on here too

Our theme tune is My Silver Lining

My name is Semtex, 50, married almost 31 years, 2 DSs 26 & one DD 28. One DS has NC with their Dad the other two have been well and truly brainwashed(Thought it was my fault but counsellor says otherwise, so I will believe her). Nisi nearly here on the basis of UB. Been to mediation, waste of time for us as HE IS THE MASTER. Filled in Form E and hopefully he has, now just waiting for the lies to read. Once he moved out he took the opportunity to use my time at work as the best time to take anything of value from the house. Nice. Now everything is locked from the inside including bedrooms etc. My DS is intending to buy him out so we both have somewhere to live and actually I.m not ready to move out as its my home. Ive said before that I don't feel that qualified to give advice that others do as I am a relative newbie and don't have young DC's but on good days hope I can help you raise a smile cos you have all helped me in one way or another. …...

Does anyone else find it shocking that my home insurance premium went up by £40 when I told them there's just me and dd here now? The advisor went off to speak to an underwriter and got it knocked off, so I can't complain too much, but I still think it's a bit off. Grumble over :)

It's detracted me from other shit for a bit though so that's good.

News from Planet Dickhead:

He has made a demand for information. Because he is entitled. He told me that. I of course am not entitled to information from him. Because I am not entitled. He has called me many things. Entitled is not one of those. I'm learning

I have decided to take myself in hand and deal with matters:

Shake It Off

Hurray, izzie has got her decisive head on, the Twunt better watch out, he's gonna get slaughtered ..... It couldn't happen to a nicer chap...

izzie are you saying what I think you're saying?

Really glad you've had a positive couple of days what. It's always nice to know that people think he's a dick isn't it? Re-affirms our considered opinion in the bar.

The house sounds lovely, a new start for you and the children, let him read his book on depression , he's going to need it himself when he realises what he's lost. You are a complete star....

whatyousee so pleased to hear that your colleagues think he's a dick ! It does help you feel less alone. A mutual friend said that my h would need to remember where he came from and not where he is now ! Said she didn't even recognise him as the same person any more !

I've been trying to tidy a bit outside of the house, which is currently a total mess. We are the scuzzy garden neighbours. Need to get it fixed up as I intend to finally discuss putting house up for sale.
I won't move into a rental until it's all sorted and I know I've a decent rental to go to.

Yeah, I've been doing exactly the same thing today, Iget, pruned a lot of stuff, did some weeding, brushed all the patio free of moss and painted the post box and the front step.

Now I can polish my halo and relax. He did all the gardening and I haven't touched it for months. I feel better that I did it myself.
Onwards and upwards....

There is one extremely angry entitled little man at Planet Dickhead tonight

.........meantime, over at Izzie's

Hello all,

Sorry for being a bit quiet lately...most unlike moi but I's been having a real life for a few weeks. Mostly involving wurk, a seven hour commute, a lot of hotels and socialising and shit.

Anyway, I've just got 'home' for the penultimate weekend - to pack up the house and to say 'au revoir' to the community that kept me going through the darkest of days. I'm looking forward to a fresh start, getting my cats back after six weeks in a cattery next week, and a new career. Somewhat bittersweet - but I never chose this, but "just getting on with it" is the only option.

There are moments of 'meh' and moments of sheer panic, and moments of tears, and moments of laughter. There is no more divorce stress - and that's something to be glad about. For those that continue to go through it, especially those having utterly hideous divorces from bloody awful...I'm not saying 'men' because their behaviour insults and offends decent people, so I'll say 'cunts', I'll always offer any pearls of wisdom I can.

Now to catch up....

MrsC said: I really wish all of the arseholes who have inflicted such life changing pain on all of us could actually READ what they have done

If ever there was a 'be careful what you wish for' moment...

...and since I'm never one to not note a moment of bitter irony...

MrC and MrSnowey-Whitey. Just so you know: We still be doing okay 'all things considered'. Just mighty 'fine' because, well, just because. Imagine what happens when we get back to being our 'brilliant best'. Just imagine that.

I'd say "KOKO". But that's a precious term and not one we wish for you.

WWK.

And if you don't like our words. Our thoughts. Our actions.

Then I offer you a celebrity endorsement for Hobbit's Bar...

Morning all

A good choice of song there WWK

This one has been going round my head for quite a while now. Had forgotten who sung it.

I am not a political animal

But I can spot one very entitled cunt a mile off

Fun Boy Three

WWK...hello love, sorry I have been a bit quiet too...I will catch up with you over the weekend. You're doing just fine... xx

Lovely post WWK showing that we can get through it and there is light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you enjoy your last couple of weekends at "home" before moving on - bet you won't miss the commute

Izzie - you calling us lunatics? Guess we are really!!!

Ha ha , the lunatics have taken over the bar.... KOKO everyone, x

Jess has some useful aids to get us through the hell of the divorce process...

hello all -apologies have been awol again - been struggling with latest development in this game of fuckwittery and needed some time out. My kids are now off for the summer - 9 long weeks - and you would expect the X would want to spend more than his usual contact arrangements with them wouldn't you - especially as he keeps saying I am trying to restrict his access. Well I suggested he could have them every weekend during the hols instead of every other weekend as they are here in the week - this was to avoid him having to take time off which he couldn't do (bullshit!) - but guess what he has refused this too - infact I knew he would - but what has just dawned on me is that OW being a mum and all that & supposedly wanting some sort of relationship with my kids in the future (fat chance) might have encouraged him to do this - but no their time together is obviously more important- as somebody has said - takes a special kind of bitch! what was it he said - "Kids are my priority!" oh yes coming through loud & clear!

and I have just found out that the X has told the kids something that I deliberately had not so this makes him a special type of cunt! how well suited they both are!

Popping in to say hi. I have had a tricky few weeks, end of term, have taken out a grievance at work, people at work being crappy and that's without handling new baby, his and OWs not mine, keeping sons safe ( always worth a try!) oh, and a divorce getting things straight as a result of a flood last January blah blah blah.

Anyway I have survived. I am disabled and expressed but still going. If I can do it anyone can. Next job, stop the huge wine habit that has helped me through. Now that might be trickier than all of the above and more besides .

WWK I hope you can find some enjoyment over the next two weekends. It sounds like a special place to have been able to live.

Izzie, KOKO. Think meh! (I will try too!).

Bobs you are mad

2little you are fab.

Anyone else? Oh yes unfortunately there are masses of us. Masses of women becoming a tiny bit stronger week by week. Shall we take over the world once we have anhiliated the tossers? Can't be harder...

Thanks Fuckit - the cats are loving the boxes...I am not loving the packing up - it's taking hours. Pah.

I have given up packing...because I have run out of boxes. Here's to my last night in my home!

I hate the fucking bastard. But new life here I come.

Raising a glass to you and a brighter future WWK