Oh, Spook, how I wish I could have you here and look after you, you poor thing, so sad. I really really do understand how you feel, the man I loved the most before I met my dh dumped me and broke my heart and I cried every day for four months. At night I lay awake imagining him with his new girlfriend and the pain was physical, like a knife going into me. I remember it so well, I would wake up in the morning and cry, dry my eyes and take the kids to school, come home and cry, then dry my eyes and go to work, come home and cry, then go and pick up the kids, bring them home and after bedtime cry again.
But one day I didn't cry and then a few days later I had two days without crying and before I knew it I was only crying once a week, then once a month. Eventually I didn't think about it all that much. And when I really got over it I knew that he never would have made me happy anyway because he never loved me enough.
You will get over this and be happy again. Believe it.
For now, do see your doc again. You have to eat and sleep better. Perhaps you would benefit from seeing a counsellor, to help you work through your confused feelings - to deal with them so that you can put them down.
Finally, please stop torturing yourself with worrying about what h is going to think of your every move and every word. Do what you need to do, do what you want to do, be who you really are, and sod what he thinks about it. If he is ever going to love you it has to be you, not a false persona you put on because you think it's what he wants. Just be you - he doesn't have to like it. But you need you at the moment.