the Sordid affair thread - the 'story' goes on

[TealFanClub]

Ok for those of use who were just settling down to catch up on it..

here is what happened next

I told daughter one - I coudnt keep the pretence going any longer, and my lack of appetite and sallow appearance was a giveaway.

My brother has had to rehome Tiddles the cat, he can't bear to listen to his orgasmic miawing without thinking of Rex shagging in his bed.

My 80s wedding dress was neither silk nor taffeta. It was lace, with sleeves that were so puffy they were wider than my head.

the lady with the husband inside her

Best 10 words ever strung together on mumsnet.

And now I can't stop laughing and my kids think I'm nuts.

Tiddles was traumatised by what he witnessed and was rather glad to be rehomed.

I mean 7 words ffs. 10 syllables.

I can't count for laughing.

dd1 asked for spagetti hoops on toast. i cocked a well groomed eyebrow and went to the kitchen. borlotti beans, tomatoes on the vine, garlic and parsley from our herb garden as well as home made seeded cob loaf. ten minutes later dd1 sighed as i handed her the plate: "mumsy I love your gourmet version. of beans and toast" . thank god one of us still has an appetite ...

Hmmmm. I did think 'lovely friend as she will be known from now on' was a bit Jilly Cooper. I was thinking of the fact she is mortgage free so would probably be alright this morning at 7.30 whilst getting on my bus ! Trusting saddo that I am. Dobbin

DB is furious, of course. SIL has sent round a fruit basket and a new DVD she knew I wanted to see.

I'm sitting here now after a long bubble bath in my fluffy dressing gown, about to watch it. And I'm not going to feel guilty about how much wine I drink.

I didn't post in he other thread, luckily no experience of this at all- this thread I can completely invest in and probably spend far too much time on sub plots off the top of my head: will DD's unplanned pregnancy prevent Olympics 2020, will DD1 career as a top criminal barrister (thinking Amal for the film lead) into a drug and BDSM car crash as the nightmares of daddy's affair finally hit home!

Oh FFS. I knew there's a reason I shouldn't work...I 've missed out again after being spectacularly taken in. Bugger!

Red - I have done the square route if fuck all today reading THAT THREAD worrying about her and being bloody grateful my life is so dull - tomorrow Weill be spent channelling my inner Jilly!!!

Good job boss is away!

I did wonder how the DH managed to balance a mobile phone to phone his wife actually inside the slattern....

Are we quite sure the DH wasn't also knocking off Dobbin....

I phoned my DH when he was balls deep in OW in a Travelodge but there were no cat noises.

That would be because a Bitch barks.

Ok o wondered but I'd be lying if I said my troll Dar was pinging..
Did wonder about the feline organs but then I've had a sheltered life.
Will someone explain the wedding dress thing? I didn't get that far

Orgasm
Not organs

Please please please can someone summarise the other thread and what happened? Think i missed all the good stuff- she hadn't even confronted him when i stopped reading (bloody demanding children wanting my attention!)

I sit here, alone. My world has crumbled. I haven't eaten for days. Dd has just tearfully forced a chocolate bar into my hands. I'll eat a bit.

Ah yes, the one where "he was inside her" and she was making noises like a cat while on the phone from the brother's house.

Lovely old softy Mumsnetters telling her she was fab and sending hugs. Don't feel bad.

Oh and can someone explain jilly Cooper friend?

The wedding dress thing

Apparently the other woman wanted shagging whilst she wore the wife's wedding dress, in her bed. As you do.

I can't believe it.

Literally.

I'm shaking.

There is a golden ticket in my wrapper!

Just going to call the number.

Re the wedding dress. The op reckoned to have an email the OW sent to her husband saying "I want to have sex with you in your marital bed whilst wearing your wife's wedding dress".