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the Sordid affair thread - the 'story' goes on

549 replies

TealFanClub · 09/06/2015 17:18

Ok for those of use who were just settling down to catch up on it..

here is what happened next

I told daughter one - I coudnt keep the pretence going any longer, and my lack of appetite and sallow appearance was a giveaway.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
TyrannosaurusBex · 10/06/2015 19:31

Wilberforce's steel-grey eyes flashed with fury as I sobbed out the sordid story. 'Yes Wilberforce, Mr Tiddles and Snowball were forced to don my DDs' Christening robes and serve QUITE LITERALLY as fluffers as Rex and Little Slut writhed in the throes of passion on a bed piled high with my wedding dress, going away outfit and maternity wear!'

SpunkOnMyBouquet · 10/06/2015 19:37

Honorary president, Dev from Corrie. Yeeeeeeeeah....

GinSoakedBitchyPony · 10/06/2015 20:25

fluffers ! Grin

RexsLittleSlut · 10/06/2015 20:42

The ping of her I-phone on the black granite work top alerted Rupert to the email from Rex. He broke off from kissing his wife and picked up her phone.

"Well, well well, what have we here? An email from our very own human entertainment system" he smirked. He opened the email and saw there was a film attached. "Interesting..." he said putting the phone back down on the counter and pressing play.

"Come here darling, watch it with me." Rupert said, casually drapping his firm muscular arm over her shoulders and "Let's see what little Mr Inadquate has sent you".

They both leaned over the phone, heads touching. She drank in the manly aroma of Rupert; it was like the pure essence of man she sighed internally. How could she ever leave him inspite of the degrading sex with Rex? (Oh that rhymes she thought. I'm a poet and I don't know it).

The film was slow to start and it wasn't quite clear what it was. Suddenly it came into focus, the screen was filled with a large bottom humping up and down with something quite extraordinary going on...

Rupert and his wife exchanged quizzical glances.

"What does the email say?" she asked.

"Have you heard of pearl clenching?" Rupert read out from the email. "I met Ginsoakedponybitch with Geraldine on their way back from a gymkhana and she mentioned it. I googled it. Let's pearl clench together my dirty little slut. Call me. I need you now."

Rupert roared with laughter. "Dear god. If it didn't turn me on so much watching you with him making him degrade his wife so beautifully, he'd honestly have no use in life. He was always a loser even at prep school."

He slapped his wife's arse harder than was strictly necessary. He handed her the phone. "Tell him that you can't call him because your husband is demanding your attention and I might get suspicious" said Rupert with a wicked grin.

"I'm going upstairs to have a shower. I'll be expecting you."
he added over his shoulder as he strode out of the room. She couldn't help but admire the retreating view and sighed.

StarSpotter · 10/06/2015 20:45

Oh. I've missed something haven't I?! What happened 'ere then? I know I'm
a day behind but I was following the original thread. Can someone enlighten me pls?

RexsLittleSlut · 10/06/2015 20:50

Wilberforce's steel-grey eyes flashed with fury as I sobbed out the sordid story. 'Yes Wilberforce, Mr Tiddles and Snowball were forced to don my DDs' Christening robes and serve QUITE LITERALLY as fluffers as Rex and Little Slut writhed in the throes of passion on a bed piled high with my wedding dress, going away outfit and maternity wear!

Geraldine was too upset to notice the colour literally drain from Wilberforce's face. He had sneaking suspicion he knew who Rex's Little Slut actually was. Except he'd thought she was Wilbeforce's Little Slut and Wilberforce's alone - as she struggled in her marriage to the brutal Rupert who refused to have her in his bed.

RexsLittleSlut · 10/06/2015 20:51

The cat has seen a lot more than Geraldine could ever imagine in her wildest dreams. But he was fine. Normally enjoyed it.

GinSoakedBitchyPony · 10/06/2015 21:05

Arf Rex
I've been hanging out with too many Cheshire scumbags and was made their pony bitch in their twisted, SORDID, activities.

GinSoakedBitchyPony · 10/06/2015 21:11

Star.
Dev was found to be a troll. HQ subtly outed him/her on the thread initially, then later they confirmed it. Lots were quite shocked. Lots polished their halos because they'd managed to sit on their hands and not troll hunt on thread but had reported.

LovelyFriend · 10/06/2015 21:13

and now we are taking the piiiissssss!

RexsLittleSlut · 10/06/2015 21:15

and now we are taking the piiiissssss!

writing carefully crafted high brow literature I think you mean LovelyFriend

Springtimemama · 10/06/2015 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DobbinsVeil · 10/06/2015 21:17

Arriving home after her privately scheduled flight, Geraldine was desperate for a long soak in the bath. Slinking into her en suite she turned the tap but no water came out. She tried the sink to the same end.

Manically she ran around the house from bathroom to kitchen to utility room; all were dry. "Damn all the taps to hell"! She shocked herself with her force of feeling.

She rang Lovely Friend but no reply. Geraldine remembered her colleagues had all the best contacts. Once again colleague came up trumps with a plumber recommendation.

Colleague: "Wear your best nix ;) xx".
Geraldine: "Haha you sound like an Internet weirdo"!
Colleague : "Lolz. he's very good but tbh there is something I couldn't quite put my finger on about him"

goddessofsmallthings · 10/06/2015 21:20

Did I hear 'piiiissssss up"? About time, ladies ... allow me to get them in Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine

DrowningInSellotape · 10/06/2015 21:33

is Anthony Andrews in this?

ItsNotAsPerfectAsItSeems · 10/06/2015 21:34

Have found a real actual Cheshire scumbag?
Does Rupert play golf?
here

RexsLittleSlut · 10/06/2015 21:37

Does Rupert play golf?

Certainly not. Rupert is far too masculine to play golf.

LOL @ an actual Cheshire scumbag.

StarSpotter · 10/06/2015 21:40

Thank you GinSoaked!

iwashappy · 10/06/2015 22:00

Arowhena thank you for your apology - accepted and appreciated.

GinSoakedBitchyPony · 10/06/2015 22:05

I've just seen a few pages back in this thread where someone said they'd kindly taken the wedding dress off Dobbin as he was having difficulty grazing whilst wearing it. Absolutely screamed with laughter and don't know how I missed it last night.

GinSoakedBitchyPony · 10/06/2015 22:07

On the subject of actual Cheshire Scumbags....I do live in Cheshire, in a nice part where nobody is orange.
Anyway, the BIGGEST TWATTIEST TWUNT I've ever been involved with was indeed born and bred in Cheshire.
Feel better for getting that off my ample bosom. Thank you.

Lagoonablue · 10/06/2015 22:23

How did MN subtly out the OP? Curious to know.

RexsLittleSlut · 10/06/2015 22:42

Please can people stop discussing the troll issue on this thread. If you want to ask questions about the troll issue, please start a separate thread or PM someone you know. We don't want this thread deleted too when it's supposed to be a bit of fun

ChristinaTweet · 10/06/2015 22:46

I do hope he has brought his teddy

usualsuspect333 · 10/06/2015 22:49

MN asked Dev on the thread to check her spam box.

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