HOBBIT’S BAR – still finding it hard to move on…part 10

[bobs123]

Welcome to Hobbit’s Bar, owned by Hobbit, open to all and run by anyone who wants the job!

This is the place to come if your marriage/relationship has come to an end and you are struggling to come to terms with this. It is a place to vent, ask for advice, relate to others in the same situation, take a break and have a laugh, whatever.

There are people in this bar at all stages of separation – just separated, negotiating, mediation, court, divorced - and all reasons for this, whether it is abuse, general breakdown, financial worries, OW/OM involved, or coming to terms with a new life.

It is a place to come to for support. You are never obliged to give support to others or reply to any posts. It is ALWAYS okay to say SHIT THIS IS HARD and interrupt the giggles if you are having a tough time. No apology necessary. No one will have a go at you for what you are feeling and share on here. Divorce is a rollercoaster, we are all at different stages, so feel free to jump right in.

Some glossary terms:

1. Jess is our mascot. Owned by Hobbit, she might do requests if there are enough sausages in it for her. Sorry, she's been ousted by a pineapple in this 1st post, but sure she will feature if the lazy caaah gets off her...
2. Izzitinis are a revolting cocktail created by Izzie that only she drinks!
3. No 6’s are what we are/were married to, after Hobbit’s Twunts list. Some of us also have “pet” nicknames for our exes
4. KOKO – keep on keeping on (used a lot on here along with SHIT THIS IS HARD)
5. Ignore any exclamation marks posted by Izzie or Roz that might make their comments sounds a bit…dodgy. Something to do with their iPads having a mind of their own!
6. We all listen to WWK aka WellWhoKnew aka Mother who keeps us under control.
7. Random Guys feature on here too

Our theme tune is

My name is bobs, 55, married almost 23 years, 2 DDs 21 & 18 who have NC with their Dad. Nisi granted April 2014 on the basis of 2 year separation while living in the same house. Tried solicitors for over a year to sort out the financials, then mediation for 6 months which didn’t work, as due to his PA nature he is all but supine and unable to contribute. Sold our family home over a year ago and have been living in rental as he had the house proceeds frozen. He was then given a choice of accepting my proposal or going to arbitration or court. Still waiting…

Link to last thread here

Link to 1st thread - if you have a spare week or so and want to read the lot here

2little I do feel for you my sweetheart, it takes a special kind of heartless cunt that would leave a pregnant partner. Having to deal with a little one and the hell of pregnancy symptoms and hormones must be very difficult.

You must be a very strong lady, I hope you have a good network of friends and family in RL to support you. The man is an imbecile, I wish him all kinds of shite in the future. KOKO lovely girl, xx

Yep, green it seems very unfair that your ex gets to swan off with his new squeeze and leave all the responsibility and day to day hard yards to you , and you get the grief for having the temerity to actually want some company and happiness for yourself .

green he may earn £25K per annum now but clearly he plans to earn £160K in the near future. That should get you a nice lots of maintenance, Honestly they make themselves look like total pricks with their form Es.

Green yes, in answer to your question. It's well documented on Internet, but also in RL I have an example. Friend of mine divorced her cheating H 10 years ago. As soon as she had men friends he started camping outside her house, despite him still being with OW. And when she remarried, he cried. He told her many times over the years that he regretted losing her.and on his death bed he said that he had always loved her.

In all those years though, he still maintained that she left him. All his family believed that.

Ive been awol all day I managed to squirrel away lots of sentimental possessions from the FMH he doesn't care he doesn't want them which suits me just fine.

If PD was forced to complete a form E he would choke to death. He refuses to give any info about what he's been spending on, and he is desperate that OW's earnings etc are kept private. Tough. Sometimes I think it would be worth pushing for full disclosure just for the sheer pleasure of imagining his reaction.

Obviously I will refuse to hand over a form e unless I have his first. His co trolling days are well and truly numbered with IzzieTaz

Controlling. I meant. Although she is a troll. Allegedly. She's certainly a nutcase. Fact

Congratulations WWK Haggistinis all round.

Evening all. Well I've got through the weekend - just. I think perhaps I should nominate myself for an oscar. I'm shattered. Maths again tomorrow for DS 2 and so stress mounting. Thinking of you all. Some tricky times ahead for us all I think. It just goes on and on, day after day after day.

wwk I'm so pleased for you. Hope you won't abandon us all though??

Going to go to bed. Night all. Hopefully positivity will return after a good (ha ha) night's sleep.....xx

Adding my congrats to WWK houses are cheaper up there too, should get a lot more for your money. I'm tempted myself, cannot afford to buy here at all.

Iget I found you on fb, and can I just say you're very foxy .

What, has she got a big red tail and a pointy face, braving ?

I don't do FB, but maybe I will think about it.

Yes :)

Me and dd saw some baby foxes playing in the sun early, gorgeous .

according where do you live? PM if you don't want it on thread

We could have a closed fb group ?

Yes to a closed FB.

Off to have a bath now, just seen the time. Thought it was strange that 1 was going to bed, durr!

Izzie Is that yes to closing fb :)

Yes a totally private Facebook.

I usually follow dd into the bath and just hot the water up, tonight I discovered she'd eaten a scotch egg in the bath so I ran a fresh one :)

Dunno how you set one up but I'm a member of a few so is possible, can't be that hard. I joined a single parent one you can't even send a join request to your have to email the organiser to send you a secret link.

I'll have a play.

And also one that we all agreed re any newcomers. Cant be too careful, can we?

Well DS1 had a bath having played football. I would sooner have a dozen scotch eggs in the bath with me than share the same water as him!

I've created a secret group that no one should be able to find if they're not a member, I've added Iget as a test.

Can someone search and see if they can find it, is called Hobbit's Bar.

It's set up so any member can add or approve a member but it can be set up so an admin had to do it.