You poor love, losing your daughter and also in such a sad place.
I'm having difficulty with my PA/EA ex this week so can sympathise - basically he is supposed to move out and sort out his visa -(dependent on our relationship) soon - despite having had months of warnings I have just found out he has done NOTHING and was expecting me to fall in line and go along with what he says and wants, as usual.
My point is, I'm finding it very upsetting and feeling sorry for him (despite the fact he doesn't have much care about me and my life) as that is the way I have been conditioned to think by him over a long period, also I know I'll get blow-back from his friends (he has to move out, leave the country, because I won't lie for him/ let him lodge etc.) although my friends and family are supportive.
The easiest thing would be to just immediately do as he wishes...even though it means putting more of my life on hold and dying a bit inside. So, I'm gritting my teeth and my real self is inside me yelling to get out, that I must do this for myself, no-one else can do this for me, it will be really hard short-term but in the long term will be so much better.
You have the strength, for your own sake and the memory of your DD, dig deep and grit your teeth. As the saying from Great marigold Hotel Movie goes "it will be alright in the end..if it's not alright, it's not the end".
He senses you're on the home stretch, that's why he's turned on the charm offensive, don't get distracted by him, head down and keep moving forward. 