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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Going back to an abusive relationship

739 replies

purplepavements · 30/05/2015 20:02

Hi
I have namechanged as I wanted to hear advice and maybe experiences without people having the info from my previous thread.
I am seriously considering going back to my ex. I feel like it's safer and easier to be back with him. He never hurt my dd and she's the only one I really care about. Has anyone had any good experience of going back because since leaving him I just feel shitter than ever.
Tia

OP posts:
Sophia1984 · 31/10/2015 17:58

Would you feel safer if you were in the hospital. It would be good to have someone looking out for you. Remember these are just thoughts - your brain is unhelpfully giving them to you as a coping strategy, but they are just thoughts that you can push through. Have you called Samaritans? xx

Original poster
purplepavements · 31/10/2015 18:21

I just want to die at the moment I don't know what to do

OP posts:
Sophia1984 · 31/10/2015 19:02

It's because it feels like a way out of how bad you are (completely understandably ) feeling now. But you have so much more to give in your life. There's a saying from Winston Churchhill 'When you're going through hell, keep going' - it's the only way out, but you will be so much stronger when you get there. I know you sadly lost your mum, but do you have any other family you reach out to, even if you haven't been in touch for a while?

Original poster
purplepavements · 31/10/2015 19:22

No I have no one really.
I wish I had a friend.

OP posts:
Sophia1984 · 31/10/2015 20:30

I'm sorry to hear that. You know you have lots of friends on here, but I know sometimes you need someone in real life. Have you thought of volunteering somewhere like a local foodbank? Lots of lovely people helping out at places like that. What are you up to tonight? Try and find something nice to watch on TV :-)

ASAS · 31/10/2015 20:42

We are all here for you.

Original poster
purplepavements · 31/10/2015 21:12

I am so siicidal and scared now

OP posts:
ASAS · 31/10/2015 22:33

Could you make it to a hospital?

JennaRainbow · 31/10/2015 22:51

Hi Purple, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. As others have said, would you be able to get to hospital? Do you think you would feel safer there? You deserve to be looked after x

BearFoxBear · 01/11/2015 22:41

Sorry I've not been around purple, how are you today?

Original poster
purplepavements · 02/11/2015 21:09

I have hurt myself but I am ok thank you for your messages it helps me

OP posts:
JennaRainbow · 03/11/2015 04:03

I really hope you're ok. What would you think about going to hospital? Do you think it would be a good place to be right now? You did feel better there last time and it sounded like it helped. Can you get there today?

Thinking of you x

Original poster
purplepavements · 03/11/2015 04:35

I don't like the hospital but I think I am ok
Thank you you are kind to me

OP posts:
JennaRainbow · 03/11/2015 04:57

I wish there was more I could do, but I am glad you're feeling ok. Have you seen your gp recently? Please look after yourself, you're very precious goods. You will look back on all of this in years to come and be so proud of yourself for your strength and bravery.

21Oreos · 03/11/2015 05:18

Hi Purple,

I didn't see your thread at the time, but i have just read the whole thing and want to offer my support.
You are an incredibly strong woman. I can only begin to imagine the pain you must be going through, but please believe that life is worth living and every day you stay away from your EX is progress.
.

Have you gone to hospital? Are you ok?

BearFoxBear · 03/11/2015 09:02

Morning purple, if you've hurt yourself you should get checked over, even if it's just by your gp. In fact, seeing your gp would be a good idea anyway. We're all with you Flowers

Wando · 03/11/2015 10:09

Purple - if you have any doubt please get yourself checked out. You are amazingly vulnerable at the moment and please err on the side of caution.

MNHQ
YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 03/11/2015 15:14

Hi purple,
We hope you don't mind, but when threads such as this one are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but we would like to think that you are seeking RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

So sorry for hijacking your thread, purple, we're glad you have such lovely support here, you have been through so much, and your little girl sounds just beautiful.

Original poster
purplepavements · 04/11/2015 09:57

I went to hospital and had stitches last night and now I am at my home I am still here

OP posts:
ASAS · 04/11/2015 13:57

Good for you. Have you eaten today?

ASAS · 04/11/2015 19:37

Are you there purple? Have you eaten today? Or called anyone?

Original poster
purplepavements · 04/11/2015 19:52

I am here but I so so don't want to be
I've booked a GP appointment for Friday because I so can't do this anymore

OP posts:
ASAS · 04/11/2015 20:44

That's ok, just keep going til Friday.

I wish you could see it, you're so brave.

Original poster
purplepavements · 04/11/2015 21:16

I wish I so wish I had someone to hug me

OP posts:
BearFoxBear · 05/11/2015 21:42

Keep going purple, your appointment is so soon. They are there to help, so don't underplay how you are feeling. I hate that I can't do more x

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