Going back to an abusive relationship

[purplepavements]

Hi
I have namechanged as I wanted to hear advice and maybe experiences without people having the info from my previous thread.
I am seriously considering going back to my ex. I feel like it's safer and easier to be back with him. He never hurt my dd and she's the only one I really care about. Has anyone had any good experience of going back because since leaving him I just feel shitter than ever.
Tia

I live in Hampshire, purple so if you are even slightly that area I can drive and meet you for coffee. X

That's great progress purple

I wish I was close enough to meet you for coffee.

Ice lollies! Brilliant idea! You sound energised; getting out for coffee would be great for you. Nothing like coffee and a cake...

Have messaged you purple

Purple, it sounds as if you have made some progress which is good news. Keep going, we are always here if you want to talk.

I've recently started using some of the adult colouring books to help me relax - this is what I've done today.

Perhaps you could try something like this? Surprisingly therapeutic and satisfying

How has your day been?

I drew for a bit today I also like colouring. I used to do lots of art and I was happy sketching but than it made me cry so I stopped. I've had a bad bad headAche for a few days. I am very fat at the moment and don't know why because I couldn't eat for a long time. Sorry for rambling

What do you draw? Could I commission something please?

I draw lots of things but probably not very well. I do tattoo designs sometimes. But not very much

Drawing and colouring in (which is my forte because my drawing skills are negligible!) are great outlets purple, good idea. I wish I had your talents.

Sometimes I just want to give up. I know how selfish it is

Do you do Zentangle? It can be very calming, but therapeutic too. You can put those emotions into it. You can also do it anywhere as you only need a little pad and a biro, so just have them in a bag or pocket and bring them out whenever you start feeling anxious. It was all the rage, so no one will think much of it, if they see you.

I've never heard of that I will look it up when I can

It's kind of extended doodling, really. DD did a lot of it when we were trying to cope with 7 bereavements in 3 years. It would help her zone out and keep calm. A little like meditation, except you have some extraordinary art at the end of it.

This is a link I found in Google just now. I haven't read it. All dd did was make these incredibly intricate doodles on small scraps of paper. Eventually she started using sketch pads for it too.

I think it's great that you have that creativity inside you! You may find that crying is good for you, and that sketching now helps you get back a bit to happier times. I used to sing, not professionally, but what they call good amateur. I sang all over Europe and got paid for it too! MS took that away from me. I didn't sing for years as I simply hadn't got the muscle control. When I started singing again it just made me cry, for quite a while that happened every time I went to choir practise I would be in tears within 10 minutes of starting. Singing again showed me how much I had actually lost as it took me back to all those times over years and years and years where I stood in a rehearsal room singing etc. It got easier, was very cathartic, in fact. Disconcerting for those around me . And actually I can't physically do it any more anyway, not really.

So I think drawing, sketching, designing, may be the very thing to help you to move on a bit.

I just don't know if I can deal with it all. You are al so strong

Purple, you are strong too and will continue to be strong. Be kind to yourself. Life will get better.

You have that strength and courage, purple. We have seen it on this thread!

You are being very strong purple. We're all here cheering you on

You are strong. The fact that you're still here, talking to us, drawing and making food shows us that you are and that you want to feel better. It takes time though.

Always thinking of you purple. One step at a time, love.

I have to go back to work on Monday now

I keep being sick and I have a very bad headache tha

Are you drinking enough? Are you eating?

Is sickness and headache contra-indications on your medication?

Sip water please.

Are you ready to go back to work? How many hours will you be working? Could your GP sign you off? A few hours a week might do you some good so you will have to see how it goes. One small step at a time.

Make sure you eat healthily and drink lots of water. Look after yourself. You deserve happy and well just like anyone else.