Going back to an abusive relationship

[purplepavements]

Hi
I have namechanged as I wanted to hear advice and maybe experiences without people having the info from my previous thread.
I am seriously considering going back to my ex. I feel like it's safer and easier to be back with him. He never hurt my dd and she's the only one I really care about. Has anyone had any good experience of going back because since leaving him I just feel shitter than ever.
Tia

How's your weekend purple? What have you done today?

You doin that eating sleeping exercising malarkey Purple?

How are you? x

I can't anymore I just can't

Oh come on Purple, yes you can. Eat, rest, sleep, fresh air, strength for the future. You can do it.

Look, I've had a shit week. Moving, from area after 30 years next week, broke ankke on Tuesday ( why I haven't been about much). The teenagers are being alternately demanding and difficult, the husband us irritated at the stupidity of how I did it and the way it impacts organisation, yet the show must go on, with calmness and a smile.

Not trying to out crisis you but all my life I have found that if I smile and pretend all is well it does as actually feel better. Cross between Tigger and Eyeore. Bouncy bounce and feign delight at an empty honey pot and broken balloon.

Come on love, take the professional help, the tablets if you need them and wait fir the voice of reason to be heard because if you look after yourself eventually it will be heard and you will feel better.

In the words of the immortal song, you pick yourself up, you dust yourself down and you start all over again. You just have to because beginnings are better than endings. X

Purple, you CAN do it, I know you can.

Morning purple.

Hope you feel a bit more positive this morning.

If you could tell us some things that are happening and what you're doing each day it might help us to help you.

Are you working? Buying and eating food? Seeing any rl friends? What is your "normal" routine?

I went into work last week fora couple of hours but I came home early and apart from that I'm just hiding. I want to be better

Has the doctor given you a "fit note"/"medical cert" puple. If you aren't working and you don't have one you really need to get this sorted otherwise you will have another problem to deal with. Just call the doctor tomorrow if you haven't got one. What do you do?

I haven't got a sick note but the manager is ok she said I have to hAve a back to work interview. I am wanting to write on here I hope I can people be patient I'm sorry

Purple you can write on here when you want. If you are off work for more than 7 consecutive days though, you must provide them with a sick note. It is a statutory requirement and even if your manager isn't being clear about that, her manager/hr will focus because without it they can't reclaim the statutory sick pay part. It will also make your return to work interview easier - honestly. Please do something that will stop your life from being harder than it needs to be.

We're still here purple. I tried to post earlier while I was out but it disappeared.

What are you doing tomorrow? You need to try and have some type of structure to your day and maybe one thing you MUST do and one little treat for yourself.

Keep it up purple

I don't know how to get one do I just call the surgery

Yes. You just call the GP and say you need a medical note for work.

If your GP is aware of the situation, they may be able to give you one without another appointment or they may want to see you again.

Let me know how you get on.

Just wanted to say im still thinking of you and sending you my best wishes.
Did you ting your GP and get your sick note sorted out. If you were an impatient in hospital the ward clerk should have given you one on your discharge.

Oh dear my typing and proofreading is letting me down I meant to type ring and inpatient.

Any luck with the GP purple?

Thinking of you, purple.

The GP hasgiven me a letter saying when I was an inpatient and when I first saw her and my a and e visits too and then she said the police might be able to help too but I don't think my manager minds much as I had a slow caseload recently anyway I am very tired but feeling more alert I stopped some pills and it seems to have helped I have eaten for the first time in what feels like forever. Thank you for your supports I hope it doesn't go anywhere

That sounds like good news Purple!

One small step at a time.

Keep going and come back to tell us how you are X

Are you happy that the letter has that level of detail Purple? If not I'd ask the GP to just recommend a fortnight's sick leave or whatever length she feels is appropriate. Depends what your relationship is like with work I suppose.

Hope your feeling better for something to eat and get a good night's rest. Tiny steps Purple. Keep being kind to yourself. Lots of little treats. Make sure you accept help and support and go out and speak to people. x

Glad you're feeling a little more "with it". Tiny steps but they mount up quickly.

How are you fixed in terms of practical things? Are you living somewhere you feel safe? Are you okay paying bills and other essentials?

What is your treat to yourself going to be tomorrow? I've got a day off work so I'm going to give myself an hour to read a book on my favourite chair with my mid-morning coffee.

Keep posting - lots of us are routing for you

That's brilliant, what did you eat?

I'm really glad that you have a supportive boss and gp purple, that will take some of the weight.

I hope that you are managing to eat and getting some sleep. You're on the right path

I don't feel safe. I haven't looked at anything that has come through the door or my emails for what feels like forever. I have people I'm meant to support, that's the big joke. I'm a stupid mess and I feel unrecognisable to myself. I just spend my days in bed: I